How to be still be fun with groups but avoid the gay vibe?

[Mike32ct]

When I'm dealing with a lone wolf (i.e. woman alone), I do quite well and can even pull sometimes. I tend to use a more serious type of game in those instances. It's a confident, but laid back style with little to no smiling or jokes. It's the best part of my game. Now onto my weakness...

My difficulty is with groups of women. If I apply the same serious type game to a group, they understandably get bored. So with groups, I tend to be more funny and quite animated. (I have a great sense of humor and can work some decent c&f.) The problem is, I'm not the most macho guy. I'm straight as an arrow, but a bit of a metro and very well dressed. So, with groups of women, they sometimes call me gay or ask if I'm gay. I become like the endearing shopping partner rather than a guy they want to hook up with.

What can I do about that? More direct on a target? More kino and/or s*xual innuedos to show I'm straight and attracted to at least one of them?

Any thoughts are welcome.

 

[Diaforetikos]

Don't make it a big deal. Just be cool and confident about it. A girl asked if I was gay one time. I asked her why she thought that. She pointed out a few things and I busted her pretty bad. Laughed, then continued with my game.

I'm an extremely goofy guy. Thats just me. Can't help it. I use it to my advantage. I'll be the goofy group leader. Talking to everyone, but put more attention on my target. I'm always the guy that says, "Oooo, lets go here." or, "Guys, lets try this...". Also, I'll tell goofy stories about my life. At that moment, I have everyone's attention. They laugh, I laugh, then flirt as normal. They see my "alpha" side, and I don't get the, "Are you gay?" question.

Be the one in control. Get em on your good side. Let them see you for you, and let your personality do the rest. If you can win the group over, generally, they'll let you pick who you want.

Good luck.

 

[Mike32ct]

Thanks man.

 

[FairShake]

Tell them you're not gay and move on with conversation.

1.) Women generally don't have the gay hangup that men do. Many don't really care if you act stereotypically homosexual.

2.) Go for younger girls. Virtually all younger men seem gay to me.

 

[Von_S]

More kino and innuendo can help, but you want to diffuse her gaydar before it even starts. Try and incorporate more of your serious/cool guy stuff, what about that approach is more masculine and alpha? Maybe your range from lone wolf to crowd pleaser is too wide, are you going too over the top with your antics?

 

[vatoloco]

Don't grab other guys' cocks in front of them.

Hahaha! Seriously now, if you're getting that frequently, sounds to me like there is something hindering you. Have a [censored] pic or something?

 

[PokerStar]

2.) Go for younger girls. Virtually all younger men seem gay to me.

im telling you its those skinny jeans.

 

[Mike32ct]

Thanks for the thoughtful replies.

Von :

I think I might have been a bit too tryhard with some groups. Too many crazy stories and humor came across as gay. I probably need to tone it down slightly.

Vataloco:

I'm thinking about doing a pic post at some point to get some feedback, but it would be for a limited time, maybe a few hours. Then I would pull the link. It would be in another post in the future.

Diaforetikos and FairShake:

While I will tone down the "tryhard piece," I will just keep my natural goofiness and even a bit of gay vibe. I'll just "own it." Some women find me "adorable." It's not the IDEAL/BEST place to be, but it's not a bad place to be either. I need to just work with it and make it fly when I deal with groups.

Going for younger girls is an interesting point. I usually avoid them because I assume that I CAN'T get them because of my age. But yes, technically, younger women are more tolerant of "metro" guys or real gay guys than older more traditional ones.

As I said, I'm straight as an arrow, but I just can't fake being macho / ultra-masculine. I just don't have it in me. I have switched to wearing darker colors which helps. Plus I will add a bit of muscle to my smaller frame.

 

[TYH]

I have this problem as well. I am very into fashion and I dress super well. I talk about fashion openly with girls too. In large groups with men and women, I tend to be very flirty with everyone, men and women (partly because that puts the attention of all on me, and I like teasing other guys and watching them fumble around). Usually, this gets a lot of laughs and gives me lots of fascinating things to talk about. The problem is, lately, I feel like I'm overdoing it a bit. I don't want to become their gay friend.

The only saving grace is that people know I was a high school wrestler and know I can fight. I've also tossed a few guys around. I usually also slip in somethings about girlfriends and exes somewhere along the convo. Plus I play that role with perfect confidence. E.g. "You have lipstick at home?"
"Yea, of course. Who doesn't? I know I look good in them."

But still, I am scared a bit that I'm putting myself in a weird place. I'm wondering where exactly the line is between being humorous, in control of my sexuality... and gay.

One-on-one, I'm OK though I think.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Okay; well being GAY means you enjoy homosexual relationships and want to be sexually or romantically, with MEN.

If you do not have those feelings; than you are NOT GAY.

Now that your sexuality is secure, let's talk about GENDER.

Gender is very different, it's the sort of social or cultural perceptions you portray in your personality -- and these can be associated as "feminine" or "masculine".

There are tons of men and women who portray genders that do not necessarily reflect their sexuality. Butch women. Or metro men. Yet both are still "straight".

I would say if you are happy with who you are, who gives a **** if you are being perceived as more feminine. Sure some women may not be interested in this sexually, but there are other women that are. I've seen many examples of beautiful women with rather effeminent men. This doesn't mean they are a b.tic or an AFC in the relationship (in fact I saw one metrosexual man quite self assured of himself on not tolerating any bullsh!t).

If you are being pegged with gay, just say something like, I appreciate being "refined" or "I can't help that I was raised with good taste". You don't have to be the shotgun shooting, darts and pool-playing, sports-loving archetype of a MAN to be successful with women. I think more than anything you just have to be assured in yourself and your own abilities -- that level of confidence and self-acceptance is what most people are attracted to.