How to be satisfied when you're not attracting any women?

[DJDeMarco]

I'm working on being relaxed around attractive women and judging for myself if they're really worth my time. In the meantime, any woman I go for, does not like me back. Especially cute or hot women.

I'm in good shape, just reached my goal of running a sub-25 minute 5K and now I'm back to lifting the weights harder. I'm 5'8 190 at about 18% body fat and I'm bald with glasses, not sure if I want contacts.

I have goals in my life but I'd say I'm happier than I've been right now. Though I'm a competitive person and feel like I should be dating the most attractive women around. Not being able to attract any woman has put a damper on that. I'm 27 and I'm somewhat satisfied not having women and I definitely know the downside of women through experience, but I want to be a success in everything, and that includes women.

 

[Serenity]

You got that backwards, you won't attract any women if you're perpetually unsatisfied. Satisfaction should take higher priority than women. You don't need every woman you go for to like you back, you gotta find the ones who does as that's the ones who matter.

Be careful with your competitiveness, it's not positive in all cases. It can lead you to the "grass is greener" syndrome, meaning you'll invest more in finding better than turning what you have into gold. In a way it's an ungrateful mindset where by chasing "better" you acknowledge it's not good enough as it is leading back to feeling unsatisfied.

I know this from personal experience, aiming so "high" made me rule out all the good potential everywhere around me. Being so caught up in the dissatisfaction of not having women made it impossible to just be myself and have some good fun, thus preventing me from getting any female attention. So I turned it around for the sake of satisfaction as priority one, focused on seeing the fun things around me at any moment. I eased off and cared about making myself feel good, there was no point trying to get a woman if it was to be so damn stressful. It took two weeks before unexpectedly some girl caught strong interest, I've since then kept my way of being and she's my girlfriend. It's working out really well, I'd rather water this grass and let it grow than to go search for something greener.

Personal happiness > women.

 

[Genos]

It's all about the process, not the goal. Are you having fun, talking to and chatting with girls? Or do you view it as a step you have to take towards 'being successful with women'?

If you fail with a particular girl, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you hopefully learned something from the experience, and HAD FUN. Don't viewing attaining the woman as the goal, though sure it'd be nice to have her...your mindset should be: "I'm just going to enjoy myself today. Oh hey, there's a cutie, let's see if she's fun to talk to. Oh nice, we're on a date, that's cool, this is fun. She's asking me to come over to her place? Well that sounds good too...", etc.

When you find yourself becoming satisfied in day-to-day improvement towards a goal just as much as the thought of achieving your goal, you've reached a different, higher state of being (not that I've mastered this or something, haha). No matter what happens, you'll be happy. My advice? Stop and smell the roses. Enjoy the PROCESS, above all else; stay present to the moment, and appreciate life as a whole. As long as you diligently continue moving towards your goal, the results will come (likely sooner than you think).

 

[skinnyguy]

You're 5'8 and bald. You really need to manage your expectations better.

 

[marmel75]

18% BF is not good shape...its average shape.

 

[RangerMIke]

You are actually below average for American men in height, but average worldwide.... your body fat is average. If you are balding just go ahead and shave your head, unless you have a really weird shape to you head. If you can wear contacts.... get contacts. It's hard to flirt with women if you can not make proper eye contact. Dress well. Appearance and how you present yourself is VERY important when you first meet a woman. It is MUCH easier for guys 5'10 and up who are good looking with all their hair, and athletic bodies to attract women. But these guys need to understand how to treat women properly or women will lose interest in them.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

18% BF is not good shape...its average shape.

This is reality. The calipers help but your best friend is simply the mirror. All that running your doing you should have a sleek waistline and no fat around your crotch.

 

[Yewki]

I'm in good shape, just reached my goal of running a sub-25 minute 5K and now I'm back to lifting the weights harder.

By all means if you like running, then run. But seeing as you're frustrated about not attracting women you should know that women give 0 f*cks about how fast you can run.

Focus on bulking up, eating better, and improving your style (i.e. clothes, haircut, contacts, hygiene, etc).

 

[DJDeMarco]

You got that backwards, you won't attract any women if you're perpetually unsatisfied. Satisfaction should take higher priority than women. You don't need every woman you go for to like you back, you gotta find the ones who does as that's the ones who matter.

Be careful with your competitiveness, it's not positive in all cases. It can lead you to the "grass is greener" syndrome, meaning you'll invest more in finding better than turning what you have into gold. In a way it's an ungrateful mindset where by chasing "better" you acknowledge it's not good enough as it is leading back to feeling unsatisfied.

I know this from personal experience, aiming so "high" made me rule out all the good potential everywhere around me. Being so caught up in the dissatisfaction of not having women made it impossible to just be myself and have some good fun, thus preventing me from getting any female attention. So I turned it around for the sake of satisfaction as priority one, focused on seeing the fun things around me at any moment. I eased off and cared about making myself feel good, there was no point trying to get a woman if it was to be so damn stressful. It took two weeks before unexpectedly some girl caught strong interest, I've since then kept my way of being and she's my girlfriend. It's working out really well, I'd rather water this grass and let it grow than to go search for something greener.

Personal happiness > women.

I need to enjoy the process of things instead of the end results. I've started doing it a little , but when I was talking to women, I was concerned with the end goal more than the process. My head is shaved. I don't have a belly, but I don't have abs yet either.

 

[Serenity]

If you can't enjoy the process of doing anything with women then don't, at least for a while until you sort your mind out. You're also insecure about how you look, if you saw me you would shut about that sh!t.

 

[DJDeMarco]

I'm not insecure about my looks, I accept who I am.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

nothing I can really do

 

[mrgoodstuff]

nothing I can really do

Plenty you can do. You can get into better shape, a 8% bodyfat or less.

Also you can do speed dating.

Getting into a partnered dancing classes such as Ballroom, Salsa, Merengue, Country, etc will get you close to friendly and receptive females. You will be happy and it's great excersize. In turn your confidence outside of the class will be raised and you will feel more attractive.

You can also get into your clothing choices, find out looks that work on you.

Be in different venues. There is a lot you can do.

Don't spend a lot of time persuing babes who return little to you, it will drain all your motivation.