How to be more secure

[Toonete_28]

Hello there guys.
Well, since the last two years I‘ve been trying to be more confident and secure. This was after I left it with my girlfriend for the moment and try to focus more on me. All was great until the moment my aunt died (she wasn’t like my best friend for me) and all the problems related with my mother because of the heritage (legal problem with my mother).

The thing is that I thought I gained self steam and confidence, but people still say to me that I seem little secure about me. I don’t know how to gain that security, I’m frustrated, I’ve tried so hard but I still go back to old habits.
The thing is that I think I have focus my attention on being confident around women and not in general. I’m a good looking guy and with little I try I usually get girls or get girls to put their attention on me.

Please I need your true and sincere opinion on what to do and gain that security/confidence/sealf steam I need. Not only recommend me books but also your own experience.

 

[bmp2cpm]

Read every Nelson DeMille Book featuring John Cory.

Be the best version of John Corey you can be.

Also available on audio for your listening enjoyment.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Easiest way is to handle your business and to know your territory.

 

[The Duke]

Security and confidence are found thru accomplishments that require hard work, perseverance, self improvement and the capacity to endure until goal is reached. Letting your looks carry the day for you is all artificial. It is a huge disservice to attractive people in the same way money is to those that didn't earn it.

 

[indiff]

Security and confidence are found thru accomplishments that require hard work, perseverance, self improvement and the capacity to endure until goal is reached. Letting your looks carry the day for you is all artificial. It is a huge disservice to attractive people in the same way money is to those that didn't earn it.

So true. I find that those months when im really immersed with projects at work followed by going to the gym in the evening, those are the times when I felt really confident and mentally strong.

When you hit a lull period is when you feel unmotivated, lazy and you find yourself very insecure, to the point where you are trying to compensate for those things that you're missing at that point.

 

[mjb3617]

I'd say stop putting so much focus on how you look and feel around women. That's something I've struggled with for awhile. Obsessing over that fact will generate more insecurity rather than having the opposite effect.

Are you living the life that you want? Do you have goals and dreams you're working towards? Focusing on those things will be of better benefit to you as you are in control of them. You're not in control of how any woman will perceive you to a certain extent.

Putting your time and energy into things you can control will increase your confidence and self-esteem.