How to be a DJ when living at home at the age of 33?

Buddhistguy

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Hello,

Just wondering if the good people here had any suggestions for being a DJ while living at home at the age of 33?

To give a brief summary of my siituation, for the last ten years, I have been living in my own apartment in the city. This made dating super-easy, as not only was I in the middle of bars, restaurants etc making it easy to meet girls, but I was living next to a major tourist attraction, which made it very easy to bring women back to my place, i.e

After dinner and a few drinks
"Hey, have you ever seen ******* at night? It is all lit up, and really beautiful!"

Thirty minutes later:
"See, I told you it was breathtaking. Hey, my apartment is just round the corner. Do you want to have some drinks there?"

Unfortunately, my father passed away last year and as a result, I decided to move back home for a year to give my mother some emotional support (I am an only child) and to fix up her house so that she can host boarders (so that she will have continued company and an income when I move out).

I have no regrets about my decision as I am glad to be able to help out my mother at this difficult time. However, the one thing I find my self missing is dating, and all of it's, ahem, benefits. She lives way out in the sticks, so there are not many social acitivities to join in on, or places to hang out. I am currently combining work with studying for my masters full-time, so it is hard to meet people - Most of the masters students don't tend to come to campus, and the undergrads are a little too young and silly for me. Meanwhile. there are no prospects at work. I have tried the internet, though I find it pretty hit and miss. I am also finding it hard to work out where to take women home. I find girls are often reluctant to take you back to their palce for the first time, and my mother is very traditional, so she probably would not be ready for me to bring a stream of women home. It has gotten to the point where I have been forced to make use of the back seat of my car with a couple of the girls I met off the internet, which is something I haven't had to do since high school and feels a little tacky. Does anybody have any suggestions?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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That's one of the best martyr stories I've read in the forum in a long time. Helping your mom set up her home for borders and being around for emotional support was a very good idea but come on now, did you really have to move in to do either of those things? Would you have moved in if you were married with children? I'm sure that you would have still given her emotional support and fixed up her place but would you have moved in?

As for school, it just sounds like an excuse. There's plenty of people working on their graduate studies or beyond who still have a social life. Hell, I still find a way to have a social life even when I have to travel to other cities to fulfill my residency requirements.

Look at it this way, what seems more impressive. You dramatically changing your life to take care of your mom or you being able to take care of your mom without having to dramatically change your life? As long as you look for excuses for not being able to do something, all you will find are things that will hold you back. If you focus on solutions, guess what you will find?

Get your life back on track. Get your own place AND look out for your mother AND yourself at the same time. She'll love you even more if she sees that both of your lives are back on track.
 

Buddhistguy

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Hello,

>Helping your mom set up her home for borders and being around for >emotional support was a very good idea but come on now, did you really
>have to move in to do either of those things?

Well, yes actually. She lives quite a distance from the city, so it wouldn't be practical for me to go see her more then once a week at best. Given her present emotional state, I don't feel that it is good for her to be left alone for the next couple of months.. It is only meant to be a one-year thing - I have already negotiated a new apartment through work for next year. Perhaps I should clarify - living in Australia, there is quite a bit of distance between the city and the regional areas ...

>As for school, it just sounds like an excuse. There's plenty of people >working on their graduate studies or beyond who still have a social life. >Hell, I still find a way to have a social life even when I have to travel to >other cities to fulfill my residency requirements.

It is not an excuse - the point of my question was that I was asking for suggestions for new social avenues given my present living arrangements.

>Look at it this way, what seems more impressive. You dramatically >changing your life to take care of your mom or you being able to take care >of your mom without having to dramatically change your life? As long as >you look for excuses for not being able to do something, all you will find >are things that will hold you back. If you focus on solutions, guess what >you will find?
>Get your life back on track. Get your own place AND look out for your >mother AND yourself at the same time. She'll love you even more if she
>sees that both of your lives are back on track.

See above point. I was asking for suggestions on how to work around my present situation and to not have it affect my social/sex life, which is focussing on solutions. Thanks for your advice anyway.
 

Ricky

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Major kudos for focusing on what's important in life.

I think you need to just maximize the opportunities in your area and get a bit creative.
 

Skullcrusher

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Well some girls out there might have a problem with this especially at men who are 30+ and living with their parents.

Your future girl does not care about your mom, she even doesn't want your mom in the same place where she is going to have sex with you.

My only suggestion is to find a place of your own/room-mate situation (like me) and try to visit your mom as often as you can.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Buddhistguy

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Originally posted by Skullcrusher
Well some girls out there might have a problem with this especially at men who are 30+ and living with their parents.

Your future girl does not care about your mom, she even doesn't want your mom in the same place where she is going to have sex with you.

My only suggestion is to find a place of your own/room-mate situation (like me) and try to visit your mom as often as you can.
I see your point, but doesn't that go against the DJ philisophy?

I mean, looking after my family is something that is a priority of mine at the moment, so I have made a decision that will allow me to do that. It has become more of a priority recently as I have recieved a scholarship that will allow me to continue my postgraduate studies in the United States in 2006 so I want to make sure my mother is capable of looking after heself before I go.

I always saw being a DJ as being someone who did not let women, or the pursuit of women, dictate the decisions he made in is life. Yet, your advice seems to be saying that I should try to fit my decision to look after my family around the more important objective of convincing women to have sex with me. I thought my approach of making the decision to look after my family for the next 7 months, and trying to find ways to meet women under these circumstances was more in line with being a DJ. i can't imagine a true DJ saying "Bugger my family obligations - It may reduce my chances of impressing a girl!".

Please let me know if I am misinterpreting ...

Oh, and since no one came up with any suggestions, I have started going to Tae Bo lessons at my uni. Great male-female ratio (Usually 50 girls to 2 or 3 guys), perfect conversation starter, a good chance to flaunt my better-then-average physique (a product of being a long time reader of the "Health and Fitness" forum), and most of the girls who go to the classes live on campus, which means we will have somewhere to go if things go well ... 8) More practical suggestions are always appreciated - getting used to living out in the reigonal areas still takes some getting used to!
 

Jus_LikeCandy

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Buddhistguy, Way to go!!!! You are one guy in this forum that has his priorities in order. This will be good for your mom and also, for you.

And, to tell you the truth, it is a turn on for girls to see a guy that can take care of his mom and cares so much about her!!!!
 

Bonhomme

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Given the situation...

Given the situation, if you really don't mind living out there "in the sticks," any woman who sees it as a negative is a woman of poor character.

As long as you're doing this strictly out of choice, and not being taken advantage of, no problem.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by Jus_LikeCandy
Buddhistguy, Way to go!!!! You are one guy in this forum that has his priorities in order. This will be good for your mom and also, for you.

And, to tell you the truth, it is a turn on for girls to see a guy that can take care of his mom and cares so much about her!!!!
For as many that are turned on by that, their is probably an equal amount that in the back of their minds wonder if he'll turn out to be a "momma's boy." It could happen.

When children leave the comfort and security of their parents home, do their parents stop caring for them, helping them, supporting them? The still do all of those things no matter what distance is between them.

And what if you're married? What if your wife was going though a situation that needed your attention at the same time either dealing with herself or your children, then what? Could you be in two places at one time? And what about your job and you could not take a leave of absence? Would you quit? What effect would that have on your wife and children?

Just something to consider.
 
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