How to approach this LTR

[DanDaMan]

I'm 17 years old, this girl is 16. HB9 or HB10 i'd say (I'll call her Alison).

Well, a buddy of mine (i'll call him Bill) knew her brother (i'll call him Gary) and since

this guy is a financial guru and all, wanted to meet me and such, to discuss topics such as

business and money. So one day Gary came over to my church with his 2 sisters. Well, when

I meet Gary one of his sisters (Alison) is there and she comes up to me and introduces

herself and says "I've heard a lot about you, Dan" and we have a short conversation, and I

get her #. Some other people start coming up to us and casually talking, but this girl is

standing there, looking and smiling at me the whole time... So I get a good initial feedback

of her IL. Also, she has a sister (I'll call her Sara) a bit younger which came up to me

like 4 times to introduce herself. So I went home from church. A little while later I found

out that Bill that introduced me to Gary went out with the older sister Alison for a short

time. I casually asked Bill why he didn't stick with Alison, since he has a good taste with

women. He always beat around the bush and didn't give me a straight up answer.

About a week went by and I called Alison and had a short, good conversation, but she

mentioned how busy she was and had no time for herself (she is a dance teacher of some

group, has all honors classes, bunch of other responsibilities...). Basically I understood

that her schedule was jam-packed for now, so I just suggested that she come to my church

sometime (they go to a different church). But they never come to my church anyways.

Half a week goes by and Bill and I decide to go to Gary's house just to chill and for me to

get to know him better. So Alison is there, but only for 15 minutes and she has to leave.

I have a pretty good conversation with her using c&f and all that good stuff... Her sis Sara

also comes home and gives me this big hug saying "i love u dan!". But Alison leaves from

the house. Her sis takes a bit of time to show me her room etc. So I go home and like 2

weeks pass (I really would've set up a date or something with Alison by now, but I had a lot

of trouble to deal with at the time). I go to church and acquaintances of mine tell me that

she was calling them up asking what my # was. And she is on my MSN now, but she never goes

online. Well, she goes online for the first time saying happy thanksgiving and all and i

tell her i'll get back to you, save it till then. I had to go somewhere... And i called her

a day later and she asks why i'm so busy to talk to her all the time, but we have a pretty

good conversation, i always keep the phone conversations to 10-15 min before saying i gotta

go somewhere. About another week or 2 goes by and she calls me outta the blue in the

afternoon saying "guess who" etc, then she talks about the purpose of life and other things.

Keep in mind this girl is very intelligent and wise. I'm pretty impressed by it...

Now, I know I should set up a date with this girl ASAP I just need to get ahold of an

automobile or something, and find a time when she and I are not busy.

I talk to her brother Gary pretty often, and we were talking about women when he started

talking about her sister and said that she is VERY high maintenance. He said you gotta be

100% man and that she has great expectations. So I asked him if he still meant high

MAINTENANCE, or he in fact meant high EXPECTATIONS (which I easily meet). He couldn't

really clarifiy on that. Keep in mind that Gary here is what i'd call a "pretty smooth

player" as well

So, this girl has high IL in me from what I can tell, and she is pretty damn hot, and to top

off the cake, has the wisdom and intelligence to go with it (don't think i'm "infatuated" or

whatever it is you guys call it, I've known MANY different girls of MANY different types).

Well, seems like a keeper and good stuff for a long term relationship, I wouldn't want to

lose this one. But when her brother started telling me about all this high maintenance

stuff and how she expects so much... I got a little spooked to tell you the truth.

Do you think I should approach this relationship, and how should I? If she really is high

maintenance, keep in mind that I dont kiss anyone's ass and I'm not the type of guy who will

give into every one of her whims and demands. How would this affect the relationship? I

just don't know how much trouble this girl can potentially give me. What do you think?

Also, her sis has a very high IL in me as well. I think they both realize that I'm great

with both of them, and they both see each other's IL in me, and seem to have no problem with it yet, but somewhere along the line I'd have to pick just one. Will the other get mad or sad?

So basically point is, things seem to be going great, but her brother really emphasized "high maintenance" and "high expectations" last time i spoke to him, and it spooked me a little.

Gimme some input here, guys.

Thanks
Dan

 

[Desdinova]

First of all, you don't have a LTR (Long Term Relationship)

Well, seems like a keeper and good stuff for a long term relationship, I wouldn't want to lose this one.

There's no way in hell you can judge if a woman is LTR material if you haven't even dated her. You need to have a STR before a LTR. Sure, she's a nice person, has big t1ts, and a wet pu55y for you, but you don't know if she's emotionally fvcked up, wears a padded bra, and her pu55y is diseased. Quit thinking about a LTR with a woman you haven't even dated.

I just need to get ahold of an automobile or something, and find a time when she and I are not busy.

WTF is this all about? What car you drive, or even if you drive shouldn't be an issue. Attract women with your personality, not your car. A car just makes things more convenient. You can date without having a vehicle.

Now, onto your woman situation. This is what I understand from the situation:

1) This one chick (Alison) has high IL in you (or seems to), but she's incredibly busy and some guy says she's high maintenance.
2) Alison's sister (Sara) has high IL in you, possibly higher than Alison. Her schedule's not as busy. I'm guessing she's not as attractive as Alison, but she's still pretty damn good looking.

Personally, I think Alison should be tossed aside since she has more negatives against her than her sister. Date her sister.

 

[milkman]

Originally posted by DanDaMan
About a week went by and I called Alison and had a short, good conversation, but she

mentioned how busy she was and had no time for herself (she is a dance teacher of some

I have also a lot of work to do, but I still allow myself a lunch break... So cancel your plans, I am more interesting... and let´s meet for a saltad at 12 at [...]. The vitamins will give you energy for your exhausting life and I will also teach you a yoga exercise....by the way a nice one...

 

[DanDaMan]

Yeah, thanks for the tips. By not having a car I meant its a bit harder for me to set up a date.

I never said i was in an LTR. I said how would i approach a potential LTR.

Milkman thanks for the tip, those are good words.

 

[Desdinova]

By not having a car I meant its a bit harder for me to set up a date.

It's a little more difficult, but it's not impossible! Quit relying on a vehicle so you can take action. Take action and worry about the car when you're not on a date.

I never said i was in an LTR. I said how would i approach a potential LTR.

By beginning a STR. Approach the LTR once you've become involved in a STR. Before you can begin a STR, you need to go out on at least 2 dates.

You can't jump into a pool of water if there isn't one in sight, can you? Find yourself a pool before you jump in.

*edited to add: make sure the pool's not full of leaches and toxic waste before you jump in.

 

[Kaine]

Desdinova, what's your take on these definitions STR and LTR.

STR = casual dating?
LTR = Exclusitivity?

I personally have never heard of these terms outside of these boards, no one in my real world would recognise STR. You're either casually dating or you are committing to something more.

So STR in this context would be "date casually before making a value judgement to be exclusive"?