How the decline in casual dinning parallels a man’s struggles in modern dating

[corrector]

Well. I wound up divorcing my wife because she no longer found me attractive & sexually desireable. However, after my weight loss.

Weight was that big of a deal? I'm shocked. What was your bf before? 30 or 40%?

Would I have been an incel? I start to go nuts when I’m not involved with some woman. I become a different person. One of my friends described me (the few times I was single), as a ‘maddened bull.’. So. Maybe through sheer exertion I could have gotten someone.

This "maddened bull" directed towards weight loss is probably one of the more constructive choices towards that energy.

I'm very much not used to a woman being in the picture at all, so I just can't relate to being upset or "maddened bull". Maybe more of a Turtle that will retreat into a shell or an internal rage but not very expressive about it other than a silence that people can feel and pick up something is not right. Even the female co-worker at my office had to reach out to me when I felt she was neglecting me over the new guy that joined the team. My silence was deafening to her. If I'm happy or normal then my silence is not as pronounced. It looks like I even get upset if I feel I'm not getting any attention at all and we are not even talking about sexual stuff!

How about your incel friends? Are they jealous about the love you are getting from the opposite sex and feeling left out?

 

[Solomon]

Actually. Being good looking (Chad?) will compensate for just about anything. However, it is clear that one can achieve one's goals through other means than being good looking.

Disagree I used to have a buddy who looked just like the singer Usher, he had no problems getting numbers and smashing chicks but he had problems keeping them because he was needy and insecure about his finances. He finally got his finances sorted out and that helped, good looks help but being needy and insecure no matter how good-looking you are eventually is going to turn most women off

 

[Hamurabimbi]

For you it's not worth it, because why would you pay for something you could get for free. At best it should not be more than $ 20 if you wanted to get techy about it. She's attracted to you so she wants you, it's not appropriate for her to charge anything above $ 20.



It was not offered to your buddy though, which can be interpreted as a rejection.

You must have to feel bad for all of your incel friends. You live in a different reality than they do. You have all the breaks and they have all the pain.

Most of them don’t try or even attempt to improve.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Weight was that big of a deal? I'm shocked. What was your bf before? 30 or 40%?



This "maddened bull" directed towards weight loss is probably one of the more constructive choices towards that energy.

I'm very much not used to a woman being in the picture at all, so I just can't relate to being upset or "maddened bull". Maybe more of a Turtle that will retreat into a shell or an internal rage but not very expressive about it other than a silence that people can feel and pick up something is not right. Even the female co-worker at my office had to reach out to me when I felt she was neglecting me over the new guy that joined the team. My silence was deafening to her. If I'm happy or normal then my silence is not as pronounced. It looks like I even get upset if I feel I'm not getting any attention at all and we are not even talking about sexual stuff!

How about your incel friends? Are they jealous about the love you are getting from the opposite sex and feeling left out?

Seems she cared enough to reach out to you.

I think my incel friends realize they are somewhat resposnible for their own predicament.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

What does the average woman offer?

bobs & vegana.

 

[corrector]

Seems she cared enough to reach out to you.

Yes, people like her is holding me back from playing ASMR/certain types of music videos, and even vlogs or content creators that are women (ie that I would view to have a feeling of a lady talking with me without having to worry about my looks, social skills or emotional investment, etc....) at bay. I promised myself to only watch those types of videos if there is like zero meaningful connection anywhere with the opposite sex for two consecutive days. As you can see I've stopped watching those videos for a while now as two days usually don't pass by like that if you have a friend at work that is providing those regular touch-points. The wierd part about it is that sometiems I miss the ASMRs and music videos I tend to rely on crutches, but that feeling evaporates quickly if it is "re-opened".

For example, just yesterday, they had a zoom meeting where they were having a roll of the dice on a game for people who made recent sales. While I made one sale I forgot about it. She chimed in to mention me. It was a nice gesture of feeling that she cared enough to do that and when I tried to thank her for it, she told me not to thank her and said please....I guess friends don't like it when you thank them for nice/kind gestures? Guess I'm new with this "female friend" thing.... Like I said, I'm holding back on ASMRs/other types of videos for a while. Like any benefits scheme, there has to be abject need of female contact/connection for those to be played. You don't take cough candy because its sweet, you take it because you have a cough.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

‘A Woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.’.
Steinhem or Dunn.
Popularized in the ‘70s.

 

[Murk]

This thread started out well and became quite depressing.

I did well on OLD but I listed my height (6'2) and I am a handsome man. I have not used apps for 2-3 years but I'll soon be making my comeback. My friend is 5'6 and does well, he's been in the gym for 12 years consistently though and is confident. I've seen the girls and they are hot, lots of single moms sprinkled in though (he has 2 kids himself and is actively looking for a mother). I'd say facially he's a 6.5 or 7, he's not ugly, just short.

Personality does have a part to play, when I was wild, free and careless, amongst the hustle and bustle of city living and working, I was cleaning up. My energy isn't the same any more, I care less about being fun, way less. You can do well as an average man who's confident and fun, I've seen it in my circle, I've punched above my weight based on confidence and vibes many times.

 

[sangheilios]

Hilarious reading back through this thread on here. There are some posters on here that are in need of serious professional help.

 

[corrector]

I think he means that your posts are depressing.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Say what you will, but at 50, I pulled and dated a 19-year-old for more than a year.

Pics or it didnt hap...Wait, nevermind

I'll go with the assumption that this is a real story

It is real. I´ve seen the receipts. Great body.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

For you it's not worth it, because why would you pay for something you could get for free. At best it should not be more than $ 20 if you wanted to get techy about it. She's attracted to you so she wants you, it's not appropriate for her to charge anything above $ 20.

This is SF. Everything here is $$$$.
I think if she said ‘$20’. I would have burst out laughing & assumed she was insane or on drugs.

 

[sangheilios]

Pics or it didnt hap...Wait, nevermind


It is real. I´ve seen the receipts. Great body.

Not that it makes a difference to me, but that poster is a troll that completely makes stories up on here, which clearly is a very common issue with this forum. If living out these strange fantasy worlds on here makes these individuals feel better about themselves, I really have no issues with it. I don't have to buy into the nonsense, but it makes absolutely no sense to me why anyone feels the need to do this. I feel sorry for some of these posters, they need legitimate help.

 

[corrector]

that poster is a troll that ... need legitimate help.

Are you really talking about the mod @Pierce Manhammer like that?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Hilarious reading back through this thread on here. There are some posters on here that are in need of serious professional help.

The thread went of the rails. Not sure what it is being discussed anymore lol

Anyways, my 2 cents: you know there isn’t new information in the dating world when people are gasping for straws and are comparing the manosphere to fast food restaurants. Cringe.

 

[corrector]

The thread went of the rails.

Just another Tuesday at Sosuave dude.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Not that it makes a difference to me, but that poster is a troll that completely makes stories up on here, which clearly is a very common issue with this forum. If living out these strange fantasy worlds on here makes these individuals feel better about themselves, I really have no issues with it. I don't have to buy into the nonsense, but it makes absolutely no sense to me why anyone feels the need to do this. I feel sorry for some of these posters, they need legitimate help.

Awww cmon you’re just pissed about - oh hell, so many things…do you need a hug?

It’s tough having your hard held beliefs about everything happening to you instead of you being the common variable in all situations be challenged. I get it, but then again I have life experiences you do not. It’s ok. I still love ya boo.

 

[corrector]

Awww cmon you’re just pissed about - oh hell, so many things…do you need a hug?

It’s tough having your hard held beliefs about everything happening to you instead of you being the common variable in all situations be challenged. I get it, but then again I have life experiences you do not. It’s ok. I still love ya boo.

He goes to the gym and has gymmaxxed and lookmaxxed.

 

[Murk]

@sangheilios is a decent looking guy facially, above average, I think he’s over groomed and looks camp, especially the eyebrows. Well put together. However he has a great physique I think top 5% and if I remember rightly he’s over 6 foot.

I believe my advice to him years ago upon seeing the pics was he does give gay vibes irl. Because I don’t really know why he can’t find a good looking women. The other option is his attitude and personality suck irl which I told him before and he accused me to hating on him or trolling. I have a good memory I think the above is correct.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

He goes to the gym and has gymmaxxed and lookmaxxed.

Your point? A guy can be gorgeous and he’s going to get some leg from chicks that just want to be with a hot guy. But if he has other iniquities it will affect his ability to attract and retain the interest of women.