How should I respond?

[tharam04]

Me and this chick haven't talked in several days. Prior to, everything was going good, spending the night, hanging out when free, etc. We had a discussion about something that she wasn't cool with and had basically been giving me the cold shoulder since. Then today, she sends a message saying "Hey" and that's it. How should I respond, if I respond?

 

[comic_relief]

"Hi, whats up?"

- comic_relief

EDIT: Really you have been here since 2008 and asking this question?

 

[tharam04]

"Hi, whats up?"

- comic_relief

EDIT: Really you have been here since 2008 and asking this question?

I registered then, but haven't really be active on the site until recently.

 

[comic_relief]

I registered then, but haven't really be active on the site until recently.

Ok, just be natural and act like you didn't even notice she was gone.

- comic_relief

 

[DJDamage]

Then today, she sends a message saying "Hey" and that's it. How should I respond, if I respond?

Ignore it until she leaves a voice message (don't pick it up)and then call at your convenience.

It will help to know what was the thing she wasn't cool with.

 

[Johnnyventana]

I think we kind of need to know this: "We had a discussion about something that she wasn't cool with..." to answer your question.

 

[SeymourCake]

If it was a text message, then don't respond.

 

[comic_relief]

No offense...but you guys give some horrendous text advice. "Hey...whats up?" Will probably get you no where. You are better off going with DJ Damage's approach than that.

But I agree with neither anyways. Girl's rarely pursue guys - because it's not their job - and if they're of any quality at all - they have plenty of options. Women like to be pursued...if done the right way it turns them on. DJ Damage's approach is good if you don't want to hurt yourself (but it's not a good strategy for looking for high success rates with women). You're virtually eliminating yourself from most relationships because you don't want your ego to get hurt.

When it boils down to it there is ONE reason why you are running phone game on a girl -- to meet up with her at some future point in time. Text game - specifically - is only ran effectively with the use of banter...you don't use comfort nor do you use boring things (i.e. Hey whats up?). Besides I'd rather have fun by saying something stupid back to her...something unpredictable. She says "Hey" I say something like "Hey ho baby toe...have you ever thought about drawing me an awesome picture...I like dinosaurs ". That says 1) You're not making the thing she didn't agree about a big issue and 2) You're fun to talk to over text.

Here's the main thing to remember with women - you do best when she feels like you're not trying but you're pursuing.

This can work on some women, but for some it can backfire. Especially if you are trying to get the really smart women that want someone serious. My ex-gf would have loved it (more childish), but the current girl I am seeing would hate it (mature). It's all about knowing your audience.

I generally save my fun texts later in the relationship. I use text messages to flirt with the girl OR set up a date. I generally save funny comments for when I am in front of the girl

Different strokes for different folks. What works for you, might not work for me.

Wow comic_relief and DJDamage in one thread!

Thanks for the props, good to see we got some great posters still left at this site

- comic_relief

 

[Diaforetikos]

Like comic said, just act like it wasn't anything. Brush it off and move on.

When I was younger, my brother and I never got into arguments that forced us into an intense hate. So whenever we would see other siblings arguing, I would always trip out at how mad they were one minute, then the next, they acted like nothing happened at all. You have to play it like the other siblings. It's not a big enough deal for you and her to stop talking, so don't worry about it.

You need to be thinking about where you two stand. Because obviously she is your target or you wouldn't be posting about her. And she is the power player between you two, because your stressin' about what to say in regards to a "hey" text.

Stop stressin' about her first off, because obviously it isn't adding anything positive between you two. Game her like normal and move on. And don't let her become your oneitis... Which I'm assuming she already is.


Good luck.

 

[DJDamage]

DJ Damage's approach is good if you don't want to hurt yourself (but it's not a good strategy for looking for high success rates with women). You're virtually eliminating yourself from most relationships because you don't want your ego to get hurt.

GGTW had the better for assesment for my motive

The thing about Damage's advice is that by not replying to her text, her interest may go up. The bad thing, though, is that her interest may go down for a number of reasons (some girls find other things to do while they wait). Basically, the key is to not worry so much about things like this. Every situation is different, and you have to play it by ear.

The whole point of waiting for an actual call is for two reasons. The first reason is to punish her by doing takeaway of your attention. This child like behavior of giving the man in her life the "cold shoulder" and not getting back to him even if she is mad at him is a bad behavior and inexcusable. She knows what she is doing and she doesn’t give a damn that she is torturing the man in her life with this behavior. We still don’t know what the OP told her to offend her senses that would help to shed a light the story, but I don’t believe it was so bad to warrant this behavior.

The second reason is to see whether she actually gives a damn about you or her real motive for throwing tantrum was to do a premeditated dump. If she is still interested in you her interest will be even higher due to the hamster spinning in her head trying to rationalize her ever growing anxiety to the reasons as to why you won't answer her. Is it because you are tired of her sh1t?! Or is it because you found someone new while she went MIA?! The more anxious she becomes, the more she will think about you and her interest in you will rise as a result.

The whole point is to show the girl who plays games, that they won't affect you and that she could easily be replaced if she continues with this path (when a girl plays games its already a sign that her interest in you is waning so you need to do something to shock her system and bring it up again). Make her work a bit for your attention now that her plan to punish you has backfired.

 

[DJDamage]

This doesn't coincide with your actual actions though...you are specifically not contacting her strictly because she is acting childish. That in effect is "affecting" your actions. And while I agree with the statement "show her it doesn't affect you" - the whole no contact thing is exactly the opposite of "not affecting you".

She won't know what your true motives behind what you are doing but will suspect that her behaviour did cause you to be more distant which is a good thing if she did you wrong. If you continue to be the guy who hasn't change due to her bad behaviour she knows she pulled, she would lose respect for you and as result interest in you.

Honestly I just disagree with the whole punish her mumbo-jumbo unless she's your GF and you've been dating for a while - but that is entirely a different scenario..you have emotional leverage

When you are in LTR that is a different story, not only can you pull this off but you can call her on her sh1t right to her face.

 

[Cherokee]

This is way more complex than it should be...

Tell her you're off out having some fun and tell her she'll have to catch up with you sometime.

Jealousy= the most powerful emotion inside a woman's fragile little mind.

 

[Cherokee]

This is way more complex than it should be...

Tell her you're off out having some fun and tell her she'll have to catch up with you sometime.

Jealousy= the most powerful emotion inside a woman's fragile little mind.