How Should I play It?

[JJ007]

Story so far...
1. Met HB8 3yrs ago, went out a few times, held hands, lips touched for a long time but never really let me kiss her.

2. I cooled it off, stayed my distance; We bumped into each other over the last 3 yrs (same social circles), maybe went out a few times as friends and chatted on the phone now and then.

3. Fast forward to recent few months: Went out as friends but started flirting again; later more flirting by phone/txt...more C&F

4. She came to my party...all the guys trying it...I just busy and keeping distance and chatting to most people. Near the end of night, I chat to her, grab her and take her to dancefloor. I'm slow dancing her, doing lots of Kino. At end of night we're in a group chatting, I chat to a few other guests and get a random girls no. infont of her. At end of night I go home with friends she goes with hers

5. Week later we go for Dinner & Cinema. She's Q's me about realtionships and tells me loads of persoanal stuff about herself. Walking to the Cinema I turn the Kino up and in the Cinema I'm holding hands, messing around and having a good time. End of night dropped her to her car (NB: She lives far so most of the time have got her to meet me half way. Reason also; All interested males have always picked her up from her house and she's used to this. So in the beginning I made the point to her that I'm not one of those guys and if we're gonna meet it will have to be half-way)...and that's been the case since.

6. Txt's me nxt day saying she's confused. Then rings me nxt day saying she doesn't normally hold hands with friends and am I like that with all my female friends; I say no worries if she doesn't like it. But she says she likes me and wants to get to know me slowly. I'm C&F and I say I know she likes me...I know she's thinking Im quite confident and big headed at this point in time but not arrogant in a bad way.

7. So plan to meet up; but a month passes as we've both been busy. Eventually we meet up; suppoosed to go to dinner but convince her to cook dinner for me at her place. Get there she's looking casual but hot ; nice tight vest!.....Messing around and joking with her; loads of C&F...

8. Finish dinner: I'm on one sofa and she's on the other. After an hour of chit-chat I get on her sofa and sit down; slowly turn the kino-up; she's cool with it. Holding hands; arm arond her; lying down; kising on cheek; smellin her neck. But she's holding back....So slow down and change the pacew a bit more chatting.

9. Through the conversation she tells me she's not sure about me; I make her feel vulnerable or out of control when she's with me; her usual confident persona is down and what I see is a cute little girl who is not like the confident HB8 i'm used to....suprising. Anyway out the blue she says she need the lamp shade in her bedroom fixed...I'm thinking that's a green light....So get to bed room, fumble around with shade, she comes to bed room, she starts showing me little oranments here and there; I'm holding her hand standing up, have my hands round her; kissing her on the neck; then she takes my hand and leads me back to the living rm where we lie on the sofa again.

10. Fall asleep on the sofa, arm in arm; wake up about 4am. I say I'm gonna go home as I got loads work to do in the morning. She says I can stay, I say no, she says I can stay again, I say no and leave and make my way home....I WAS THINKING MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE STAYED THIS TIME?

11. Rang her Wed (had met with her Monday Night) ....She say's if she gets into a realtionship she wants all or nothing. Also I was still being quite persistent and she thought we were gonna take things slowly?....so she expected me to ring her on the Tues. I said I like her but that's the way I am, laidback....Spoken a few times since but haven't got together.

So my question: I know she likes me and i feel she wants to be with me. But what is she playing at? should I change my style and be more of the way she wants me to be? Or should I just be the way i have been with her.

Nxt date I was planning was a day ot at a theme park to make it really fun?

Thanks...guys

 

[crowes22]

She sounds like a major head case. I'd bail, I don't think she is interested. You are her friend IMO. If you do hang in there, get a kiss from her next time, no more hangin out, if she pulls away, you are being played, which I am almost certain is what is going on anyway.

 

[Tazman]

Is it just me, or does this girl sound like waaaaayyyy too much work? It shouldn't be THIS hard. How much more time are you willing to invest in this? I agree, I'd let it go unless she initiates something worthwhile.

 

[flexion_]

Yes seems like a mental case or drama queen ( or are they the same thing? ).

 

[drZaius09]

lips touched for a long time but never really let me kiss her.

Huh?

All interested males have always picked her up from her house and she's used to this. So in the beginning I made the point to her that I'm not one of those guys and if we're gonna meet it will have to be half-way

You should be picking her up. Take charge. Meeting half-way is for friends.

But she says she likes me and wants to get to know me slowly.

This hasn't been slow enough?

Through the conversation she tells me she's not sure about me

Let us pause for ******** 101:

She says... "I'm not sure..." or "I'm confused..."

Translation: ""I can't decide if I'm ready to SETTLE for you just yet. In fact, I don't really like you but I do love the way you supplicate to me all the time. I'd also rather not have these conversations because they make me uncomfortable, so I try to placate you using contradictory and/or ambiguous statements. If you play your cards right, you *might* get a lay or two, but as soon as something comes along that even vaguely resembles a Bigger Better Deal, you're a woolly mammoth... As in, you're f#ckin history."

Fall asleep on the sofa, arm in arm; wake up about 4am. I say I'm gonna go home as I got loads work to do in the morning. She says I can stay, I say no, she says I can stay again, I say no and leave and make my way home....

This was probably the right thing to do.

She say's if she gets into a realtionship she wants all or nothing.

Let us pause for Advanced ********:

She says... "If I'm in a relationship I want all or nothing."

Translation: "If I'm in a relationship, I get ALL and you get NOTHING."

should I change my style and be more of the way she wants me to be?

I give up.

Nxt date I was planning was a day ot at a theme park to make it really fun?

Ok, now I really give up.

 

[NewMan]

went out a few times, held hands, lips touched for a long time but never really let me kiss her.

when that happened the first time you should (and maybe you did?) bail. she outta here - goodbye, have a nice life.

it should have ended there.

went out a few times as friends and chatted on the phone now and then.

waste of your time.

Went out as friends but started flirting again; later more flirting by phone/txt...more C&F

read she playing you like a flute.

I'm holding hands,

are you her girlfriend?

she need the lamp shade in her bedroom fixed...I'm thinking that's a green light....So get to bed room, fumble around with shade, she comes to bed room, she starts showing me little oranments here and there; I'm holding her hand standing up, have my hands round her; kissing her on the neck; then she takes my hand and leads me back to the living rm where we lie on the sofa again.

yep I think your her girlfriend.


why are you being so NICE, understanding and good to her?

You didn't learn the first time that this chick is a c#ckteaser - is just playing games.

Move on.

That's the best advice your going to get.

If she calls you, you tell her, that you'd be more than willing to go out with her, but that you know that she doesn't know what she wants. You do - and your not interested in playing this song and dance game with her.

that's it.