How much of a difference does distance make?

[viking22]

I have been living in a pretty central location in my city for much of my 20s and 30s. But I am approaching 40 and at an age where I need more living space and do not have the desire to go out every night and as I work from home 3 days a week I can handle a slightly longer commute.

How much of an impact do you think this would have on my dating life?

Logistics clearly are very important when it comes to hook ups/one-night stands but these are less interest to me these days. Similarly I have little interest in staying out until 2am in bars and clubs so don't need to worry so much about how I am going to get home.

But most dating these days is through location based swipe apps where women have so many options they can afford to be picky in terms of wanting someone who lives nearby. And clearly there is a much greater density of attractive women in more central/densely populated areas than there would be in the suburbs/in commuter towns/neighbouring countryside. On the other hand I would still be spending some time in the centre during office days and weekends so can still match with city girls. And if a girl disqualifies me based on my location the chances are her interest level is probably pretty low anyway and she is probably too attached to the city life (e.g., expensive dinners, drinks, shows etc) to be good relationship material in any case.

And I think I would be happier having more living space, being closer to nature, being able to entertain properly and having a cosy place where women want to spend time rather than just a small flat with a bed and a kitchenette and not much else.

Has anyone got any personal experience of making a move further out of a city as a single mature guy and how did this impact your love life?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Moving out of the city center can shake up your dating scene a bit, but it's not a game-ender, especially if bar hopping and late nights are no longer your scene. When you're not all about the nightlife anymore, your move to a place with more elbow room might actually be a magnet for folks who dig the same vibe you do – more chill, maybe into nature, or just into hanging out in a comfy home setting.

Dating might require a bit more planning when you're not right in the thick of things, but that can be a good filter. If someone's keen on you, they won't mind the trek. Plus, you're still hitting the city for work now and then, so it's not like you're off the grid. You can line up dates when you're in town, no sweat.

And let's be real, dating apps can be a numbers game, but if you're not just swiping for a quick meet-up, distance might not be the big deal-breaker. You might have to swipe a bit more or tweak your profile to show off your new lifestyle. But hey, if someone's hung up on zip codes, they're probably not your type these days anyway.

End of the day, you're looking to up your quality of life, and that's likely to make you even more attractive to someone who's after the same thing. You might not be the guy next door anymore, but for the right person, you'll be worth the extra miles. Plus, having a sweet place where someone actually wants to hang out for more than just a night sounds like a solid plan.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

The less there is to do, the easier the women will be the phuck provided you're not in a rural area with its typical gender imbalance.

 

[The Duke]

For years I lived 45 minutes away from a major US city. I lived in the country outside of a suburban town There were city girls who didn't date more than 15mins away, that had enough to pick from close by. Most of girls I dated came from the suburbs. Most of the people in the suburbs knew they would have to drive and were willing to.

The suburban area I lived near was a very wealthy area with mostly married people. Made it tough for dating prospects. There wasn't any cheap housing, and few apartments. As the area grew, the demographics changed, apartments were built, more singles came to the area, more bars, etc. Definitely made things better for dating.

As far as girls I met in bars, it didn't matter. But girls I got from OLD weren't as willing to date someone that lives in the suburbs 30-45min away when they had plenty of options within 15min.

 

[SW15]

I have been living in a pretty central location in my city for much of my 20s and 30s. But I am approaching 40 and at an age where I need more living space and do not have the desire to go out every night and as I work from home 3 days a week I can handle a slightly longer commute.

How much of an impact do you think this would have on my dating life?

Moving out of the city center can shake up your dating scene a bit, but it's not a game-ender, especially if bar hopping and late nights are no longer your scene. When you're not all about the nightlife anymore, your move to a place with more elbow room might actually be a magnet for folks who dig the same vibe you do – more chill, maybe into nature, or just into hanging out in a comfy home setting.

Dating might require a bit more planning when you're not right in the thick of things, but that can be a good filter. If someone's keen on you, they won't mind the trek.

For years I lived 45 minutes away from a major US city....As far as girls I met in bars, it didn't matter. But girls I got from OLD weren't as willing to date someone that lives in the suburbs 30-45min away when they had plenty of options within 15min.

Moving out of a central city type area is generally going to negatively affecting dating prospects. In most USA and Western Europe cities, the most amount of single people are closest to a central city type area.

The biggest difference you would feel would be from tech-based dating methods, particularly apps. Apps are all about convenience and you become a less convenient option. @The Duke 's experience would likely become your experience.

What are you looking for at this stage in your life? Some sort of longer term relationship? What are some attributes of the women you seek, both in terms of looks and behaviors? You might be able to make moving further away from a central city work, but it's generally more difficult. You will need to be reliant on some sort of in-person method (daygame, nightgame, or your social circle).

I would think long and hard before making a move out of a central city type neighborhood. In general, I believe it would make dating more difficult, especially if you're targeting somewhat younger women (late 20s/early 30s).

 

[Divorced w 3]

Moving out of a central city type area is generally going to negatively affecting dating prospects. In most USA and Western Europe cities, the most amount of single people are closest to a central city type area.

The biggest difference you would feel would be from tech-based dating methods, particularly apps. Apps are all about convenience and you become a less convenient option. @The Duke 's experience would likely become your experience.

What are you looking for at this stage in your life? Some sort of longer term relationship? What are some attributes of the women you seek, both in terms of looks and behaviors? You might be able to make moving further away from a central city work, but it's generally more difficult. You will need to be reliant on some sort of in-person method (daygame, nightgame, or your social circle).

I would think long and hard before making a move out of a central city type neighborhood. In general, I believe it would make dating more difficult, especially if you're targeting somewhat younger women (late 20s/early 30s).

This is a good post. I think having dated both in the city and in the burbs in the last year, you need to know your desired dating market. If you’re looking for younger, or for more active / spontaneous older women, stay near the city as that will be the best place to saturate yourself with those opportunities. The suburbs are naturally where most people go to live a quieter life. Needless to say, no rule is hard and firm but strictly from a percentage basis I would say my experience is the above.

Also, keep in mind the term ‘city.’ I live and work in suburban New York. I don’t mean that you need a 11 million person metropolitan city. If you have a place that’s 10-20k and it’s densely populated relative to your area, that for you is a city. That’s where people are going to eat, entertain and socialize.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If you live in a township close to the city, you may be able to afford a place that has a garden. Giving good garden parties can lure a lot of women.

And if you have no compunction against screwing bored housewives, suburbia is more conducive than the inner city.

 

[SW15]

I think having dated both in the city and in the burbs in the last year, you need to know your desired dating market. If you’re looking for younger, or for more active / spontaneous older women, stay near the city as that will be the best place to saturate yourself with those opportunities.

@viking22 is 38-39. It is likely he's going to be interested in women who are 25-38 or so. He's also childless. Like many childless men, he probably prefers childless women. Childless women 25-38 are more likely to be found in neighborhoods that are closer to the central city.

In more suburban neighborhoods, the women in their 30s who are single are more likely to be divorced single moms. Divorced single moms are not a good fit for longer term relationships with a childless, never married man. Their lifestyles and life experiences are way too different.

Also, these divorced single moms in their 30s typically have younger children (ones under 10) and are many years away from being empty nesters. Those kids will take up a lot of time and she won't have much time for @viking22 in the first year of a potential relationship.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Also, it’s highly location based. In Europe and the rest of the world V’s the US. The US has really crappy public transport options, also much more sprawl.