How much does the “abundance mentality” matter for low-tier men?

[20Humble5050]

It’s such a common piece of advice on here to “go cold” around flaky girls and act like you have an abundance of women, but for anybody who has more experience, how necessary or effective is this tactic really for short, ugly men with ****-tier genetics? Since most desirable women are not socially retarded, my suspicion is that if I act like I have “abundance”, they’ll know full well that I have few or no options, and either realise that I am putting on an act or think that I have genuinely lost interest, rather than assuming that I moved on to other girls. How true or untrue is this?

Furthermore, has anybody here had luck just outright lying about their experience level, and gotten girls to show more interest by dropping into a conversation (when appropriate) the lie that they’ve either had at least one girlfriend in the past or aren’t a virgin, even if they are, in order to “demonstrate” social proof? I am asking only out of curiosity as I am a pathological truth-teller and wouldn’t use this technique regardless of effectiveness, but I fear that if you’re not above a certain looks level you may run into the same issue and just have the girl see straight through your lie. Or am I giving women far too much credit for their aptitude here?

 

[corrector]

It’s such a common piece of advice on here to “go cold” around flaky girls and act like you have an abundance of women,

How would you like to act around flaky women?

the lie that they’ve either had at least one girlfriend in the past or aren’t a virgin, even if they are, in order to “demonstrate” social proof?

Is one really a high enough number to demonstrate social proof?

 

[BPH]

for short, ugly men with ****-tier genetics?

In case you're not "asking for a friend" here, this mindset would be the first thing that needs to change. Lacking confidence that a successful outcome is even possible for you becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that shows through in your interactions with women.

Everybody has things they can and can't control. Maximize the things you can; if you're ugly learn to dress well, style or shave your hair if you're losing in, be well-groomed and take care of your skin, get braces/veneers/brush your f***ing teeth, go the gym and get in shape - you have a LOT of options.

Being short is definitely a hindrance, but it's not like you're trying to get laid as a quadruple amputee or something nigh-insurmountable.

An abundance mentality is NOT flaunting your options and bragging about all the women in your life in front of the ones you're trying to attract. It's quiet. It's genuinely not caring whether a woman accepts or rejects you because you have others in your life who are more deserving or appreciative of your attention. It's very hard to fake it till you make it with this, which is why it helps to have other things going on in your life so that even if you don't win the girl over, you don't really care because you have other things on your plate - even if they aren't women (yet).

 

[20Humble5050]

How would you like to act around flaky women?

What is that supposed to mean? I suppose I'd like to act in whatever way minimises the chance that the girl actually thinks I've lost interest and won't still have her if she stops pissing about, and maximises the possibility of her actually changing her mind. Really, what my post was asking is whether working on honing the "abundance attitude" was worth it for someone as ugly as me or whether it would get no better results than going back to how I acted as a teen and being pissy when rejected (not that I would anyway).

Is one really a high enough number to demonstrate social proof?

If being higher than 40 percent of other men in my demographic nowadays isn't social proof, I don't know what is. And since we're talking about lying there's no reason someone couldn't pretend to have had multiple.

 

[super_soaker]

it's easy to have an abundance mindset when you live in a big city, with over a million people and a decent tourist demographic. it's almost impossible in a small town.

 

[corrector]

If being higher than 40 percent of other men in my demographic nowadays isn't social proof, I don't know what is. And since we're talking about lying there's no reason someone couldn't pretend to have had multiple.

No, one person could be a fluke rather than true social proof.

 

[Dr_jitsu]

In case you're not "asking for a friend" here, this mindset would be the first thing that needs to change. Lacking confidence that a successful outcome is even possible for you becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that shows through in your interactions with women.

Everybody has things they can and can't control. Maximize the things you can; if you're ugly learn to dress well, style or shave your hair if you're losing in, be well-groomed and take care of your skin, get braces/veneers/brush your f***ing teeth, go the gym and get in shape - you have a LOT of options.

Being short is definitely a hindrance, but it's not like you're trying to get laid as a quadruple amputee or something nigh-insurmountable.

An abundance mentality is NOT flaunting your options and bragging about all the women in your life in front of the ones you're trying to attract. It's quiet. It's genuinely not caring whether a woman accepts or rejects you because you have others in your life who are more deserving or appreciative of your attention. It's very hard to fake it till you make it with this, which is why it helps to have other things going on in your life so that even if you don't win the girl over, you don't really care because you have other things on your plate - even if they aren't women (yet).

This is an absolutely outstanding post, very similar to what I would advise. In fact, I am going to do a video on this topic tomorrow.

Lets say you are not very attractive, a 3 or a 4. First, make a serious decision you are going to do something about your situation. Get to the gym, eat an excellent diet. Realize that it will take time, but you can transform yourself physically if you put in the work and the discipline. Learn a martial art. Get in for the long game.

Next, realize what you CAN get consistently if you develop your game: Women who are 2 numbers above you. So over 18 months you put on muscle and lower fat. Start dressing well. I LOVE cowboy boots and they will give you 2 inches. Learn how to dress in style. Get a good hair cut. If you are a 3 become a 5. Now you can pursue 6's 7's.

Next, embrace rejection. Fearlessly develop your game and have the mindset of a Samurai. Study people like Pook and Anti Dump. Or my material. Study the top guys on this forum. BPH sounds like a good mentor. Open a woman every day. You may only be successful 10 times a month, but as you develop that number will get better. Improve your number closing. Again you will get rejected, but so what? Eventually you will be getting at least 7-8 phone numbers a month. Get better at date closing. Eventually you may be getting 3-4 dates a month but this will build your rotation. 18 months from now you WILL have abundance.

Now realistically, these women will be 6-7's. That is OK. I almost married a gal who was a 7, she was absolutely incredible in every way, but I married my wife who was much hotter. But I still think about this gal 20 years later and I know I would have been happy with her.

It bears repeating: "An abundance mentality is NOT flaunting your options and bragging about all the women in your life in front of the ones you're trying to attract. It's quiet. It's genuinely not caring whether a woman accepts or rejects you because you have others in your life who are more deserving or appreciative of your attention."

 

[Dr_jitsu]

I would like to add on something here: I am 62 years old. 40 plus years ago, when I was young, women were much, much hotter. Was there a genetic change over 40 years?

No. It is environmental. Women today eat crappy diets and are less active. The big change is ENVIRONMENT!

So just the same way, you can improve your "genetics" if you change your lifestyle (eating, exercise, etc.).

 

[MatureDJ]

The abundance mindset for lower-tier men is simply HopeCope. And I don't think that chicks assign any value to words uttered by such a lower-tier, but rather only from seeing other chicks with him.

 

[MatureDJ]

Lets say you are not very attractive, a 3 or a 4. First, make a serious decision you are going to do something about your situation. Get to the gym ...

Gymcel

A gymcel is an incel who works out, believing that a muscular body will compensate for an unattractive face. Gymcels will often spend countless hours in the gym...

incels.wiki

 

[SW15]

it's easy to have an abundance mindset when you live in a big city, with over a million people and a decent tourist demographic. it's almost impossible in a small town.

Men living in big cities who are lower tier on looks are not experiencing abundance. While there might be a larger population surrounding, it is usually just more women that are ignoring them.

Gymcel

A gymcel is an incel who works out, believing that a muscular body will compensate for an unattractive face. Gymcels will often spend countless hours in the gym...

incels.wiki

I've had mixed feelings about the concept of gymcels. Apparently, they do exist.

I've been inclined to think height and body fat/muscularity were more important. I've thought that if a man is 6'0"+ and fit/muscular, then he should be able to get laid with at least average/cute women.

There's a forum participant here who is 6'0"+ and fit/muscular and struggles to get laid. It's unknown what has caused that.

Facial aesthetics/balding could be a cause in general if a man is over 6'0"+, fit/muscular, and he isn't getting laid. It's less likely that personality is a cause for that since looks are far more important than personality.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I would like to add on something here: I am 62 years old.

To be 62 and viable to attractive women, you are going to need to have a deep pockets and a thick bank account. Otherwise, Good game.

 

[SW15]

To be 62 and viable to attractive women, you are going to need to have a deep pockets and a thick bank account. Otherwise, Good game.

The typical 62 year old male who is needing to date is a divorced guy with adult children.

He's typically dating 55+ women with adult children.

They are often meeting on Match/OurTime, the online dating platforms most geared at older audiences now. Some might still be meeting in person through some activities. It's rare for couples in the 55+ age segment to meet off of random bar approaches.

There are 55+ communities in Florida and Arizona. The 55+ communities in Florida and Arizona usually have a dating scene, but it tends to happen after a widowing. Random divorced 55-64 year olds don't tend to move to those communities while single and needing/wanting to date.

A 50 year old is an impressive get for a 62 year old man. That's a 12 year age difference. Linda Holliday and Bill Belichick had an 11-12 year age gap during their 2007-2022 dating relationship, when Belichick was 55-70. Linda Holliday was an above average looking woman in her 50s too.

Most men who get a 10+ year age difference are doing it mainly on money.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Improve your tier.

 

[Dr_jitsu]

To be 62 and viable to attractive women, you are going to need to have a deep pockets and a thick bank account. Otherwise, Good game.

I am a bodybuilder and extremely fit. I was decently attractive until about the age age 58-59 then 60 beat my face with an ugly stick, LOL. My wife is 47 and still quite beautiful so I have to keep my game sharp to maintain her interest level. We have been happily married for more than 18 years.

 

[Dr_jitsu]

The typical 62 year old male who is needing to date is a divorced guy with adult children.

He's typically dating 55+ women with adult children.

They are often meeting on Match/OurTime, the online dating platforms most geared at older audiences now. Some might still be meeting in person through some activities. It's rare for couples in the 55+ age segment to meet off of random bar approaches.

There are 55+ communities in Florida and Arizona. The 55+ communities in Florida and Arizona usually have a dating scene, but it tends to happen after a widowing. Random divorced 55-64 year olds don't tend to move to those communities while single and needing/wanting to date.

A 50 year old is an impressive get for a 62 year old man. That's a 12 year age difference. Linda Holliday and Bill Belichick had an 11-12 year age gap during their 2007-2022 dating relationship, when Belichick was 55-70. Linda Holliday was an above average looking woman in her 50s too.

Most men who get a 10+ year age difference are doing it mainly on money.

My wife is 47. I keep her in love by managing our relationship properly. I have videos on how to do this.

 

[super_soaker]

Men living in big cities who are lower tier on looks are not experiencing abundance. While there might be a larger population surrounding, it is usually just more women that are ignoring them.

true, that's why i said an abundance mindset and not an abundance reality. the mindset is easier in a large city because you can play the numbers game. just run volume and spam approach and swipe mindlessly. guys who are struggling in large cities would be absolutely cooked in a small town.

 

[Dr_jitsu]

Gymcel

A gymcel is an incel who works out, believing that a muscular body will compensate for an unattractive face. Gymcels will often spend countless hours in the gym...

incels.wiki

If a very fit less attractive man has well developed game he can most certainly still get mid tier women, 7's and most certainly 6's. Some of these women can be extremely pleasant to date.

BPH's advice was on point.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I am a bodybuilder and extremely fit. I was decently attractive until about the age age 58-59 then 60 beat my face with an ugly stick, LOL. My wife is 47 and still quite beautiful so I have to keep my game sharp to maintain her interest level. We have been happily married for more than 18 years.

wait nvm lol

 

[Travel memoir21]

I would like to add on something here: I am 62 years old. 40 plus years ago, when I was young, women were much, much hotter. Was there a genetic change over 40 years?

No. It is environmental. Women today eat crappy diets and are less active. The big change is ENVIRONMENT!

So just the same way, you can improve your "genetics" if you change your lifestyle (eating, exercise, etc.).

Yep...Even the freakin Salads they serve at Jack and The Box are fattening.