How hard are you willing to "work" for it?

[squirrels]

What I mean is if you think a girl's attractive enough to bang, physically, as long as she isn't playing games with you, how hard do you work to get "up in it?"

I ask this because it seems like many of these girls I'm meeting now are cute (F-able), nice, smart, OK to talk to, but none of them really seem FUN. I guess I'm looking for a more dynamic woman, one who will interact more than just babble about herself. One who will touch me back when I touch her, be more kinesthetically responsive.

These girls who's numbers I've been getting: they're nice, and I wouldn't mind taking any of them home for a ONS, but the thought of calling them and going on a DATE with them...setting aside a block of time just to spend time with these girls solely to get them in bed...just doesn't appeal to me. I have better things to do with my time than waste it trying to "woo" women who aren't fun company.

Last weekend I got this one girl's number. Long blond hair, big smile...probably a high "8" by my scale...thing is she has the "valley girl" way of speaking and didn't seem to be able to make a decent conversation without being prompted with questions. It's been a week and I still haven't called her, and probably won't.

Last night I met another girl...cute, but not necessarily a double-taker. Probably a low "7" (again by my scale, some of you people rate models as 6s and 7s ). She was drunk, so I guess I can understand why she was a little boring...I was drunk too. But I'm not even sure I want to call her either.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for...it just seems like girls, especially in bars, just don't have any energy. They prefer to just sit around and let a guy work on them. I just don't feel like drudging through a day with a girl with the plan that drudging through 2 or 3 days will lead me to the p***y.

Is this normal? Am I just lazy?

 

[drZaius09]

This topic makes me sad. I'm only 24 and I've completely lost the will to put in any effort whatsoever. I feel no incentive at all, it's just work, work, work. I've had enough sex in my life to know what it's like, so I justify my lack of ambition by reasoning that I'm not missing much. Call me cynical, but I simply can't substantiate a balance between the grueling labor we put in and the eventual reward. And furthermore, the reward is not even a guarantee! In fact, there's just as much chance of NO reward as there is of actually getting it.

 

[aguynamedwill]

change your venue?

if you're looking for girls with energy, what about the gym or a dance club or a health food store. if you're looking for smarts, what about a bookstore or museum? I've actually seen beautiful women in libraries.

setting aside a block of time just to spend time with these girls solely to get them in bed

no dude, that's not what to do. you should be INVITING these women to come spend time with you doing what you would do anyways. Shopping can be a great date. Have her help you pick out some new shirts. Have her try tight stuff on for you.

Don't focus on getting sex, focus on having a good time. If she's having a good time too, you'll get your sex without trying (if you had a chance in the first place).

I ask this because it seems like many of these girls I'm meeting now are cute (F-able), nice, smart, OK to talk to, but none of them really seem FUN. I guess I'm looking for a more dynamic woman, one who will interact more than just babble about herself. One who will touch me back when I touch her, be more kinesthetically responsive.

Its a numbers game. There are some VERY responsive women out there. I think you'll find that those who dig you the most from the outset will be the most responsive in the way you're looking.
Try changing where you find women. Certain types go to certain places. It might make the difference.

 

[XANEUS]

Most girls will be boring if you let them be. If you challenge them and stimulate them, they will play back. The more fun you are with them the more fun they'll be with you.

(In general of course... there are some BOOOORING *****es out there)

 

[Sting]

Originally posted by drZaius09
I feel no incentive at all, it's just work, work, work. I've had enough sex in my life to know what it's like, so I justify my lack of ambition by reasoning that I'm not missing much. Call me cynical, but I simply can't substantiate a balance between the grueling labor we put in and the eventual reward.

Your analysis, as cynical as it may seem to someone who does not share your view, is more accurate than most men would care to admit. Nonetheless, "aguynamedwill" did have a good suggestion, namely, pick what *you* want to do, and then invite her along.

For example, if you have a group of friends (male and female) that you go out with (they could even be couples), invite your new "friend" along for the fun. That way, there is no pressure of a *date*, she meets new people (women always want to meet new people, especially other women like them) and she gets to see you with your friends.

If you are a loner, as many men on this board seem to be, invite her to something that *you* enjoy doing solo (no, not THAT -- if you play your cards right, she'll help you with THAT later on in the evening) such as going to see a local band at your favorite bar/club, coffee house hopping, live poetry readings, etc...

Bruce Lee once described (albeit jokingly) that his method of combat was "the art of fighting without fighting." Consequently, your method of dating should be "the art of dating without dating." Everything you do should seem effortless -- and in fact should be effortless. If you're "working" (e.g. trying) too hard, you will not come across as having fun, and your ulterior motive (and in reality your goal) of having sex with her will be readily apparent, thereby defeating you before you've even begun to "fight" for it.

 

[Bonhomme]

How much effort? Quite a bit, really ...

If a gal turns me on and is interesting enough.

XANEUS has good points. The ones who are interesting are well worth the effort. In fact, they're the only ones I seek out.

 

[iqqi]

but I simply can't substantiate a balance between the grueling labor we put in and the eventual reward.

the reward being the sex? and then what is HER reward for having sex with you? uggghhh, this thought process is honest, but nevertheless, it disgusts me.

why is it that you are only doing something to make someone else do something?

this is worse than game playing.

my boy jay could sleep with you.

 

[drZaius09]

Originally posted by iqqi
the reward being the sex? and then what is HER reward for having sex with you? uggghhh, this thought process is honest, but nevertheless, it disgusts me.

Her reward is the same as mine: sexual satisfaction. Only she doesn't have to do much to get it but merely submit to my advances (i.e., work). It disgusts me too.

my boy jay could sleep with you.

MOVED: High School Forum

 

[PlayerinTraining]

iqqi wrote:

the reward being the sex? and then what is HER reward for having sex with you?

Interesting. The way you phrased your statement implies a woman can't have sex for its own sake, and needs to be "rewarded" for doing the deed.

Untwisting what you had really twisted around: From a traditional dating POV, a man MUST ask a woman out, show her a good time, PAY for HIS and HER entertainment, all in the hopes she will be "in the mood."

From a man's POV, that IS a lot of work. It's almost the EXACT same process a salesman uses when trying to open a new account. And considering the fact a man is trying to sell himself with no guarantee he will be accepted, I can understand why men are looking for other ways of avoiding the traditional dating scene.

Traditional dating makes supplication the male's role. And as we know, modern women don't like men who supplicate.

But i doubt a woman can comprehend it. She just takes it for granted that her sexuality is so valuable, a guy should move mountains, swim across the English Channel, and then fight wild animals in order to be even CONSIDERED as being worthy of having sex with her.

You may think you are a modern "liberated" woman, but that is EXACTLY the message an ex-gf of mine was taught by her GRANDMOTHER!!!

Of course, she didn't buy a bit of it, and could enjoy sex for what it is.