how fvcked up is this?

gargamel

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OK, I'm so in love at this point that I really need a reality check.. So please be harsh!

these are the AFC things I did recently:

-Yes, I did write her a poem after our first night together. the night was a total disaster.. she played hard to get and I was all confused the morning after.. the poem was not a love poem. it actually (in a very subliminal way) accuses her directly of not being able to express her passion, which I am a master of :D. so I challenged her to open up to me, cause I was very upfront about what I wanted from her. surprisingly it worked like a charm!

-so, my "tactics" with this girl was simple... show her that you are a fountain of emotion/passion/mystery and challenge/encourage her to step up to the challenge, to open up to me. this was VERY hard to pull off, especially because it was a thin line between being completly honest with her and being an alpha. but it also worked.. we are together for 2 months now :D

-she trusts me completely. this could be wrong! I actually TOLD HER (yes, I know I'm an idiot) that I WILL NOT BRAKE HER HEART THE WAY HER PREVIOUS TWO BOYFRIENDS DID. actually the exact words were: I'm not the kind of person that screwes ppl over. sure enough, this gave her a sense of security and thus started the "she is taking me for granted". The amount of trust she has in me had a positive effect, though: she was able to surpass many of her sexual fears. THIS is why we had phenomenal sex the first time already - I already posted on this: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=74504 - read the last few posts from me

-I told her the truth about me - that I had difficulty trusting dem ho's! and that I'm glad I finally met someone I can trust. I was able to pull this off just because she was searching for the exact same thing - cue The element of Destiny!

-we were seeing each other almost every day for the first 1,5 months - I'm already taking measures to change this

so this relationship is based 30% on mutual trust, 30% on me being a very cool guy with his priorities in life sorted out, sense of humor and a party to be with (these are her words), 10% on her girlfriends telling her that having this much great sex IS rare these days (she wouldn't know, for I am The First One) and 15% on her desire towards me. I'd prefer the desire to be MUCH GREATER!

Is this normal? I wouldn't know, cause this is my first serious relationship. I'm more used to girls chasing me + me don't giving a fvck about them. I'm used to girls going all wet when just being treated with my presence. But this one isn't! This girl treats me as an equal. She even told me that she DOESN'T prioritise our relationship over her Gfriends (the closest ones). This really disturbed me. Altho if you really think of it - I don't prioritise her over my friends, so I guess it's ok... in a way...

we are having a great time, but I'm feeling a bit underappreciated. And I'm trying my best to keep my feelings for myself, but I burst out every now and then...



summary: I should play it cool. I don't play it cool. I don't know if I should pull out for a bit. NEXT-ing her would be stupid cause she actually is worth all this trouble. then again, pulling out for a while just without a reason would be kinda mean. or would it?? I feel very bad playin someone who doesn't play games.

Any suggestions?
 

themanwithnoname

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Do yourself a favor, stop seeing her and use what you learned from your mistakes and do better with a new girl.
 

frivolousz21

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you didnt let it go naturally at all.


you seem to have jumped way to far quik with your feelings.

you had to challenge her?

this is an issue in itself.

there is a huge disparity here.
 

darth yoda

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Be careful!

Originally posted by gargamel
I'm more used to girls chasing me + me don't giving a fvck about them. I'm used to girls going all wet when just being treated with my presence. But this one isn't! This girl treats me as an equal. She even told me that she DOESN'T prioritise our relationship over her Gfriends (the closest ones). This really disturbed me.

summary: I should play it cool. I don't play it cool. I don't know if I should pull out for a bit. NEXT-ing her would be stupid cause she actually is worth all this trouble. then again, pulling out for a while just without a reason would be kinda mean. or would it?? I feel very bad playin someone who doesn't play games.

Any suggestions?
You know her better than I do, so it's up to you to find a way to bring back some alpha into the equation, slowly but surely. Whether that means pulling back or whatever, you be the judge.

You know the rules, yet you are suprised when you act AFC and she doesn't treat you like the other girls do...

You should have seen it coming. And by the way, she does play games, whether you know it or not yet is the only issue.
 

ahh69

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Re: Be careful!

Originally posted by darth yoda
You should have seen it coming. And by the way, she does play games, whether you know it or not yet is the only issue.
No matter how well you think you know someone and I know how it can feel like you've known someone for ages just after 2 months..

All girls do play games, even if they don't so called "realise" it.

No challenge and this has an unhappy ending for you. Stop spending so much time with her and change things around.
 
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