How do you talk to women?

[FriskyFish]

Hello All,

This is my first post on the DJ Forum. Recently I've been talking with this girl. She seemed pretty cool, and relaxed for a while. Then she just snapped and went physco on me. Telling me that I ask too many questions. It’s not like I ramble on and on about myself, or something. All I was trying to do was make polite conversation. So I was hopping to get some input on this situation. What is the best way to talk with women? How do you know if your *really* asking too many questions?

Thanks ahead of time; any input would be greatly appreciated.

Frisky Fish

 

[davelmn2003]

I think if she merely answers your questions and doesn't put questions to you, then 1) she may not be interested in having a conversation with you, or 2) you've asked "too many" questions in a roll and she has not the chance to formulate a real question (not just some spin-off question derived from you own questions).

If it's #1 (and it's hard to tell sometimes), I'll let the conversation gradually die down and then go away. Try stopping for a few moments to see if she has anything to ask you. If she doesn't ask you anything I think I smell trouble.

 

[thejuice]

Alrighty dude...

I think that the problem is that you arent aware of how to talk to people without annoying them. You should try learning other ways of communicating without sounding like a curious 5 year old inquiring about the difference between boys and girls...

So you dont know if youre asking too many questions? Ha ha!

Try running this by yourself next time you talk to someone...how much are you talking about yourself and how well do they respond?

Usually, if theye taking the conversation well, they ask about you more aften. look out for this!

If you find that youre asking questions without follow up commentary, youre probably annoying. It would sound like a questionaire you get on the phone...you know which ones. Its those people who call you and say that theyre conducting research on...blah blah blah. And before you respond with yes or no, they say that its a "very short" questionaire that shouldnt take more than one minute...now, its easier to say yes to them and take their stupid questionaire! So you say yes and take it but as you find the minute they promised you pass, you begin to get irritated at the fact that its been 5 minutes of constant questioning! When is it going to be over?!

I think some people know what im talking about. If you, fishy dude, know this emotion already, you can probably understand how annoying this can be.

So how do you aviod sounding like this? Easy. First, have a follow up commentary to everything she answers. Let it be witty, funny, insightful, but never dull, average or boring! The second thing is to try to exhaust the same topic as far as you can before its time to use the same topic to change to another one. Third, talk about yourself as a pre-commentary to a question. For example say that you once went skiing...and then ask if shes done that. Fourth, do not change topics abruptly. Doing this can seem like your questioning her aimlessly...It seems rather stalkerish if you ask me. Reminds me of a tip. It was about looking out for things she says that can lead to another topic of conversation. For example, if she mentions something subtle in one of her responses, you can follow up on that instead of continuing that smae topic at hand. You look for it, itll explain it better

And now ill stop because im reminded of another tip i saw somewhere. It was about lowering her risk and making yours go up. I wont explain how it works but it basically outlined how you taking the risk will make her easier around you. So maybe this has something to do with this...just something you can think about...

Hope this helps dude

thejuice

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Very good post Juice!

Yes, Juice is right. Try to stretch out each response you get from her. Don't move on to the next question until you've gotten all the juice (no pun intended) out of the previous one. I was listening to Louis & Copeland, who are probably the best of the coaches at showing how to talk to women.

Try shakin' your head, nodding, using facial gestures, in order for her to know that you are following what she's saying and you're interested. Your body language should encourage her to keep going. Not until she's done, should you proceed with the next question. In smooth conversations, the follow up questions will be determined by her response to the previous questions.

Let her do all the work, you just sit there, and listen. In fact, according to James Van Fleet's program on communication, people who are considered the best conversationalist are the ones that listen the most.