how do you handle when your gf just want to do her way

pyros

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Hi.

What do you do when your gf repeatedly does or does not do something you dont want her to do?

for example:

she keeps talking to an ex fling of hers, eventhough you said it bothers you.
she talks to her sister on the phone every night for two hours, eventhough you said it bothers you.
she does not want to cook, eventhough you said it bothers you.
she does not want to look for a better job, eventhough you said it bothers you.
she keeps yelling at you when she gets upset, eventhough you said it bothers you.
she wants you to drive the way she likes, eventhough you said it bothers you.
she gets mad and leaves the apartment at night after a fight, eventhough you said it bothers you.
she does not want to watch any of your favourite shows, eventhough you said it bothers you.
she does not want to go to the doctor when needed, eventhough you said it bothers you.
etc
etc
etc


what do you do when you have several of these things happening from time to time and talking about it does not fix anything?
Let's say you have a good relationship overall, you love each other, sex is good, you have fun together but...

how to handle this behaviour?
is it a way? do not answer me just NEXT her please.


Thanks.
 

betheman

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you stop spending so much time and effort on her
 

pinkfl

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My responses are in bold.

pyros said:
Hi.

What do you do when your gf repeatedly does or does not do something you dont want her to do?

for example:

she keeps talking to an ex fling of hers, eventhough you said it bothers you.
-This is inappropriate behavior once you are in a relationship. She shouldn't keep in contact with an ex.

she talks to her sister on the phone every night for two hours, eventhough you said it bothers you.
-Failing to see how talking to her sister is a problem, unless it's interfering in the relationship. She has a family.

she does not want to cook, eventhough you said it bothers you.
-You aren't compatible. If a guy says he wants a girl that cooks, she can at least make the effort to throw a meal together every once in a while. This is the simplest way to maintain a relationship.

she does not want to look for a better job, eventhough you said it bothers you.
-If she doesn't want to look for a better job because she's happy with what she does and where she works, this isn't a problem with her. However if she hates where she is and is qualified for something better, that shows she's just lazy/not a hard worker/has poor work ethic.

she keeps yelling at you when she gets upset, eventhough you said it bothers you.
-People argue in different ways. Some fume and give silent treatment, others are theatrical, others yell, others play the victim, etc. Without knowing how YOU argue or get upset, this information on it's own isn't enough to be a dealbreaker.

she wants you to drive the way she likes, eventhough you said it bothers you.
-If she's a reckless driver she's not a keeper. Why do I say that? Because it's pure selfishness. Driving is a privilege not a right. A reckless driver puts the lives of others and themselves at risk. My dad's life will never be the same because he was rear ended twice, both by two idiots. This would be enough to make me throw someone away and never look back on it's own, it's a deal breaker for me personally.

she gets mad and leaves the apartment at night after a fight, eventhough you said it bothers you.
-Again, everyone argues differently, without knowing how YOU argue this information isn't enough. However I will say it's probably the most childish way to handle an argument; it's basically saying "Well, I don't like this, so I'm going to run away till you chase after me".

she does not want to watch any of your favourite shows, eventhough you said it bothers you.
-She can give them a shot, and if she doesn't like them, then that's just a matter of different tastes. You don't have to watch Say Yes to the Dress with her, for example. But if she's just refusing and not even attempting to give them a chance, then that's not good.

she does not want to go to the doctor when needed, eventhough you said it bothers you.
-This is not a deal breaker if she's a smart girl that knows a lot about medicine and can properly judge when something is an emergency. However if it's a glaring problem and she's not going, and spending what could be her insurance copay on new shoes, then that's a sign of irresponsibility.

etc
etc
etc


what do you do when you have several of these things happening from time to time and talking about it does not fix anything?

Let's say you have a good relationship overall, you love each other, sex is good, you have fun together but...

how to handle this behaviour?
is it a way? do not answer me just NEXT her please.

-To be honest, you are dating a child. Her behavior is not of a woman, it's of a little girl. This isn't someone I would want to start a family with or raise children with.


Thanks.
 

Masculinity

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You next that brat, even though it bothers you (for self respect reasons). :cuss:
 

Fatal Jay

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you need to break up with her, because she is going to break up with you really soon
 

SamTheHobit

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Just use her for sex and do your own thing till she breaks up with you.
 

hindsighted

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SamTheHobit said:
Just use her for sex and do your own thing till she breaks up with you.

yep... you do what he said above, and hook up with other girls.... even though it bothers her
 
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