How do you guys open?

[JohnChops]

F********************* I did it again today. Was at the gym, finishing up my lift, and I notice this girl just following me around going next to me on EVERYTHING!. She went to the same machine twice to do the same thing on two separate occasions and then started looking at me multiple times. I told myself "alright go up to her and say something damn you!"

She clearly wanted me to go up and talk to her but as I was walking out I look at her, she looks at me for a good 4 seconds then looks away :cuss: . I didnt know what the hell to open with? I feel like something simple like "Hi my name is JohnChops" doesnt seem right, or am i overthinking such a simple thing?

What do you guys use to open girls? Sometimes I do like to use what is around me to open up a girl but sometimes there isnt anything. Those situations i find it hard to open a girl up.

 

[Desdinova]

Ever break into a conversation with a random stranger? You never say "Hello, my name is Blabla Blablabla" Usually you'll just talk about something happening around you. That's the EXACT same way you start a conversation with a woman.

An opening line does NOT make a woman fall for you, it just breaks the communication barrier.

 

[JohnChops]

Ever break into a conversation with a random stranger? You never say "Hello, my name is Blabla Blablabla" Usually you'll just talk about something happening around you. That's the EXACT same way you start a conversation with a woman.

An opening line does NOT make a woman fall for you, it just breaks the communication barrier.

Thats what i usually do, but if there isnt anything around you to talk about... what do you do then? For example, my example at the gym.

 

[Desdinova]

Talk about yourself - something you like to do at the gym and then ask about what she does.

The challenge isn't approaching the woman, the challenge is finding something to open your yap about. Do yourself a favor and try talking to random strangers by solely using your surroundings.

I'm great at opening. My problem always comes with trying to keep the conversation flowing. I'm back to trying to build up a list of 'stories' to pick from when the conversation goes dormant.

 

[JohnChops]

Talk about yourself - something you like to do at the gym and then ask about what she does.

The challenge isn't approaching the woman, the challenge is finding something to open your yap about. Do yourself a favor and try talking to random strangers by solely using your surroundings.

I'm great at opening. My problem always comes with trying to keep the conversation flowing. I'm back to trying to build up a list of 'stories' to pick from when the conversation goes dormant.

ah your the polar opposite of me. I can keep a convo going like nothing. Opening is my downfall. Thanks for the advice Desd, i appreciate the help ill start doing it up tomorrow.

If you want some advice on keeping the convo flowing what i do is listen for little hints and water the seeds she feeds me. Subtle little clues that she subconsciously drops on you that others would miss, those are the thing i pick up on and act on. Sometimes you miss em though what hey live and learn! Also small talk for 5 minutes and then ask her personal things, thats how you really keep a convo going. Make it personal and open.

 

[sageproduct]

I'm gonna rip on the general populace/accepted ideas here.

Fwck trying to come up with situational openers. Just go direct. "You look gorgeous, I had to meet you." It takes so much guts to do this that, after a while, I have the social intelligence/comfort level talking to strangers to come up with indirect/situational openers if I so choose. And, unlike before, they don't come out fwcked up and unnatural because I'm comfortable with my actual intentions.

</advice from virgin>

 

[Purefilth]

I'm gonna rip on the general populace/accepted ideas here.

Fwck trying to come up with situational openers. Just go direct. "You look gorgeous, I had to meet you." It takes so much guts to do this that, after a while, I have the social intelligence/comfort level talking to strangers to come up with indirect/situational openers if I so choose. And, unlike before, they don't come out fwcked up and unnatural because I'm comfortable with my actual intentions.

</advice from virgin>

yeah its ok to open but this is gonna a be a girl sweating her t1ts off in the gym - unless youre straight into cheeky mode there with a lil ****y followup its coming off desperate - no girl looks 'gorgeous' when she sweats unless she's backing up on my d!ick:crackup:

try grabbing her on the way out - its always awkward opening in the gym (honestly ive never done it midworkout) - on the way in/out though, do a normal HI opener - and offer her to grab a milkshake after...

Disclaimer... Done once = +1 milkshake date + 1# FROM 7.5-8/10

 

[Mike32ct]

Ever break into a conversation with a random stranger? You never say "Hello, my name is Blabla Blablabla" Usually you'll just talk about something happening around you. That's the EXACT same way you start a conversation with a woman.

An opening line does NOT make a woman fall for you, it just breaks the communication barrier.

^This.

Openers are generally NOT used for attraction. They are only ice breakers to get the conversation started. That said, openers are a very small part of the game and don't matter too much.

In my last field report, I met this chick during happy hour. I think I opened with , "How are the wings?" or something like that.

I like situational becomes it seems more natural.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Was at the gym, finishing up my lift, and I notice this girl just following me around going next to me on EVERYTHING!. She went to the same machine twice to do the same thing on two separate occasions and then started looking at me multiple times.

YOU: (Walk up to her) Wow, you must REALLY like this machine. What's this, your 5th or 6th time on it? (With a smirk on your face)
HER: LoL, no silly... it's just the easiest one to use in here.
YOU: ...(at this point you're just contining the banter. Point is, you're now in a conversation with her)

It's really that simple. Hope this helps!

 

[sageproduct]

I'll fight you all on this because the direct opener has changed my life, and I will defend it to the grave.

yeah its ok to open but this is gonna a be a girl sweating her t1ts off in the gym - unless youre straight into cheeky mode there with a lil ****y followup its coming off desperate - no girl looks 'gorgeous' when she sweats unless she's backing up on my d!ick:crackup:

try grabbing her on the way out - its always awkward opening in the gym (honestly ive never done it midworkout) - on the way in/out though, do a normal HI opener - and offer her to grab a milkshake after...

Disclaimer... Done once = +1 milkshake date + 1# FROM 7.5-8/10

Yeah but you don't have to say "gorgeous". It could be "cute", "attractive", "fit", whatever. The important thing is that you boldly state your intentions from the beginning.

Openers are generally NOT used for attraction. They are only ice breakers to get the conversation started. That said, openers are a very small part of the game and don't matter too much.

In my last field report, I met this chick during happy hour. I think I opened with , "How are the wings?" or something like that.

I like situational becomes it seems more natural.

Yes, I agree that if a good situational opener exists, it can be more effective than a direct opener. I've definitely had interactions where a more indirect approach probably would have led somewhere while a direct approach did not.

However, as a training tool, the direct opener cannot be beat. Here's what I'm getting at - for a guy like me, generating ATTRACTION was my biggest struggle, being shy, timid, unable to express my desires. For a little while, that direct opener was the ONLY thing I had going for me to generate any attraction, until I was able to grow into my own and be comfortable enough where I can run and improvise attraction on my own. 6 months ago me running indirect game would = "oh thanks for the direction well, you have a nice day then", whereas now covert flirting w/women who happen to be w/in close proximity feels easy because I'm used to doing direct openers, which are so much harder.

 

[Mike32ct]

I have nothing against direct game. Actually it sounds pretty cool . I just have no experience with it. Indirect has always been my style.

 

[Brighty]

I always thought openers were among some of the grosser things about the PUA community. Seemed to make interactions almost mechanical, and while I can understand using them as a crutch when you're starting out learning and you're trying to find your confidence with approaching women; once you've found your "voice" (so to speak) using them beyond that seems fake as hell.

Try going up and just saying "Hey, what's up" without some kind of pre-rehearsed routine, from one human being to another. I double dog dare you.

 

[t00dumb]

"hey how's it going and are you following me?" with a smile and a concern face right after.

doesn't matter what you say, it's how you say it! imagine if she was like any person or coworker you meet on a daily basis, you'd be surprised how many people you encounter.

 

[Eph]

I find myself in the same situation as you a lot of the time. I like using "situational openers" (i.e. something happening at that moment), just as much as you do. So what happens when there isn't anything interesting to bring up? You make the moment interesting. Make an observation. For example, seeing as there wasn't anything truly interesting to talk about, you could have made a joke about it. Maybe something like, "so you follow me around often?" and just follow up.

Point is, when you find yourself without your usual "opener", have a fallback. For me, it would be a joke.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Openers are not something you should be over-thinking. In reality, you should open with something casual, get a conversation going and then build up to flirting.

There is nothing wrong with direct openers either where you just come out with a "Hey, you're cute, whats your name?". That can totally work or totally fail. Just depends on your confidence level and how attractive she finds you.

I use casual openers, like I'm talking to another guy. In this situation I might talk about the weather. Something like:

"Crazy weather we've been having"

"I can't wait for summer"

I also like to use questions because it gets the girl more engaged. Something like:

"Hey, have you ever done Crossfit? I think I want to get into it soon."

"Hey, do you know a good Sushi place around here?"

"What's your position on personal trainers? Are they worth the money? I'm thinking of hiring one."


Just random crap. It doesn't matter. The only goal of the opener is to get her talking to you. Once she responds, you start gaming her.

 

[Asterisk]

Try challenging her on one of your easier exercises.
Like, "How many reps of this can you do?"
If she can pull it off, (without looking like a total beefcake)
congrats, she just qualified herself to you.

 

[sageproduct]

I have nothing against direct game. Actually it sounds pretty cool . I just have no experience with it. Indirect has always been my style.

You should try it! I also enjoy the fact that even when things don't work out, it makes the girl's day because a stranger was so compelled by her attractiveness to go talk to her. It makes me feel good.

 

[Purefilth]

You should try it! I also enjoy the fact that even when things don't work out, it makes the girl's day because a stranger was so compelled by her attractiveness to go talk to her. It makes me feel good.

its a better feeling to close and lay - you should try that sometime, it makes ME feel good anyway

 

[incognito42]

Me: sup

Her: hey

Me: wanna go halfsies on a baby?

 

[Naughty Ninja]

F********************* I did it again today. Was at the gym, finishing up my lift, and I notice this girl just following me around going next to me on EVERYTHING!. She went to the same machine twice to do the same thing on two separate occasions and then started looking at me multiple times. I told myself "alright go up to her and say something damn you!"

She clearly wanted me to go up and talk to her but as I was walking out I look at her, she looks at me for a good 4 seconds then looks away :cuss: . I didnt know what the hell to open with? I feel like something simple like "Hi my name is JohnChops" doesnt seem right, or am i overthinking such a simple thing?

What do you guys use to open girls? Sometimes I do like to use what is around me to open up a girl but sometimes there isnt anything. Those situations i find it hard to open a girl up.

Next time you see her you can just say something funny if you know she's checking you out. Like: "I lift things up and put them down." in that dudes voice from the gym commercial. She's most likely seen it and will start laughing with you then just ask her her name and give yours and go from there.

I was in the gym once and this girl was working out with a trainer near me. I knew she was looking so I said out loud to myself while benching: "Help me baby Jesus!" and she started laughing. After I finished I told the trainer out loud: "Ask her if she's impressed." and she started laughing even more. Then I just went and said hello and BS'd from there.