How do you get Like and status at Work?

[FieldReportGuy7]

I've been working at a new job that really requires some social intelligence and knowledge of workplace politics.

Some things I've noticed:

- No matter how competent you are, if you're a tattle tale **** and c*nt, not to mention a bossy know it all, you will not get much respect from your boss ( if this boss is decent.) and from your fellow co workers.

- It's the laid back guys, whose good with people with good vibes and can tell a good joke that seems to get the points. They're very socialy intelligent in the sense that they know when to buckle down and get serious and the right time to get everyone to laugh and relax to take a breather.

- The Guys most liked have an air of genuine down to earth charm about them that people seems to relate to. They can talk to the boss and co workers without sounding so damn informal.

My situation:

Im like the youngest dude where I work. Some of my co workers are married, talks about cars and relationships while I'm still that dude trying to pull tail and attending Rage against the machine concerts. And it doesn't help that I keep my distant a bit which sort of led to a stagnant transanction relationship between me and some of my coworkers in which I talk to them just to get stuff done. All that stuff eventualy becomes uncomfortable because theres no sense of rapport and connection.

Any advice??? Also to the experience and mature DJs, add some golden tips on this matter - " The art of being like and gaining status at work".

 

[Rogue]

Pick up and thoroughly read the book The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene. There's so much in the book which applies to you and probably more than you realize, since many truths may be counterintuitive. I've had the book for two years now and live by it; it rewired my brain on how to be more socially intelligent and my life just naturally improved.

 

[AAAgent]

I'm the youngest male at my office and was the youngest person till 3 months ago.

I just got the raise i asked for. I come into work early everyday and offer to stay late and help my boss if and whenever he looks busy. I also offered to do the first team presentation which was a great success (everyone else doesn't want to do work here let alone take on extra work??). I finish my work THE FASTEST but obviously i'm not the most detailed. I'm one of the few people that gets thrown extra work when it needs to be done quick and my other co worker is thrown work when work needs to be thoroughly done and perfect. I propose new idea's all the time that are promising. I helped my boss gain recognition by researching stuff and getting the information he couldn't.

On top of that, my boss and I have a great connection since we both used to play WoW, Starcraft, and now we both play xbox360. He invited me to join his basketball league which i did. I offered to do another presentation but he said he would like other members in the team to step up.....i doubt they will.

When the global research boss came in, my boss's boss, that was my first day back from vacation. I actually didn't know he was here but as usual i came in about 30-40 minutes early and my boss's boss introduced himself to me and was surprised that i was the only early bird.

I see people fumbling sometimes with the printer which is behind me. It gets jammed and their clueless. I help them out since it looks like they need help, smile and walk away. I saw this lady try to pick up the water jug and replace it in which i helped it out because it looked like she was struggling. All the Asian girls introduced themselves to me at my workplace and i say hi to them when i see them.

Be nice, friendly, hardworking, helpful, and eager to take on responsibility.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Be nice, friendly, hardworking, helpful, and eager to take on responsibility.

That is well-stated and very true. It is also the reverse of the typical employee whom everyone hates. That employee does the minimal amount of work possible and makes up for it by kissing the boss's ass. A good boss can see through that, but just like bad employees, there are also bad bosses.

 

[azanon]

Be nice, friendly, hardworking, helpful, and eager to take on responsibility.

Don't let me deflate anything by being real, but this is pretty much every new (23 year old) employee.

I love it when we get a new kid fresh out of college that has all these new ideas about how to make things better for the veterans, with all of this new energy. Best I can tell, they think they are going to be this energetic for their entire career. I guess it never occurs to them that everyone that's already working there were just as energetic and eager as they were way back when.

Be nice, friendly, hardworking, helpful, and eager to take on responsibility.

This will get you more than the average share of work, and quite possibly the same (or less) amount of pay. If only the way to the top were so benevolent. Take Rogue's advice and read 48 Laws of power. You won't find a law that reads like your suggestion (for a reason).

....

In short, I'd focus less on striving to be "liked" or "not hated" and, instead, shoot for respect and power. If you can recognize the world is dog-eat-dog at 23, you'll have learned something sooner than I did.

 

[AAAgent]

That is well-stated and very true. It is also the reverse of the typical employee whom everyone hates. That employee does the minimal amount of work possible and makes up for it by kissing the boss's ass. A good boss can see through that, but just like bad employees, there are also bad bosses.

I seriously thought like azanon said that everyone would be like me. I temped at a really big financial media company, the top 3 in the world and i was the only one who wanted to do more work.

At the company i'm at now, everyone leaves at 5:45 on the dot and arrives 9am or later. Sometimes not even a Hi or a Bye. I instilled in my project a mandatory Hi and Bye list that was being tracked. You also had to ask a team member something about themselves each day (had to be a different team member). This was to build a stronger team and closer relationships to the members, even my boss. If we succeeded my boss would buy us lunch. We got free lunch needless to say.

I actually like working hard and i'm actually really creative and was scored 5/5 for creativity during my review. I also final'd in a business competition and am currently entering another one now.

I think if you enter a normal company where it isn't based on competition like the big 4 accounting firms, law firms, JPM&S, Citi, BAC, etc. people tend to be more laxed. Relaxing makes me feel uncomfortable. I guess that's why i've never been on a single vacation ever.

 

[azanon]

I seriously thought like azanon said that everyone would be like me. I temped at a really big financial media company, the top 3 in the world and i was the only one who wanted to do more work.

So everyone in this company is 23ish like you? Assuming no, then I'm not sure you understood what I said. I said only all the fresh youngins (like you) want to stay late and work extra (with a few exceptions). Give yourself several years (get to at least 30 years old), and then lets see how energetic you still are.

......

To slightly change the subject, anyone giving much over 40 hours a week to a job potentially has a life balance issue. I can't help but pity folks with no life outside of work. 40 hours a week is a LOT. Americans are sick working sometimes 60-80 hrs or more. I pity these folks.

 

[AAAgent]

So everyone in this company is 23ish like you? Assuming no, then I'm not sure you understood what I said. I said only all the fresh youngins (like you) want to stay late and work extra (with a few exceptions).

At the temp job yes, everyone was my age but since it was temporary most only wanted to work what they were being paid for.

At my job now the majority is under 30, so i guess i'd have to say yes to that as well. I understood what you said if you're still wondering.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Try to deal with the old fvckers that hate the world and only give a damn about themselves.

Then come back and give us the same advice about being pleasant and working hard.

 

[AAAgent]

Try to deal with the old fvckers that hate the world and only give a damn about themselves.

Then come back and give us the same advice about being pleasant and working hard.

It's attitudes like this that definitely don't get you anywhere. When life gives you lemon's you make some juice out of it.

I've already addressed before how i had a senior disrespect me in an earlier thread about 4 months ago. I confronted her directly without going to my boss and settled it. She was throwing hissy fits for about a month give or take but now she's pretty chill and nice. My boss found out about it later and i just briefly told him there wasn't anything wrong and there was a misunderstanding (which there was).

Don't deal with the older guys and just leave them alone unless they confront you. I'd treat them the same way unless they give me a reason otherwise. If your job (if you have one) has old people like this everywhere that you can't handle, why are you working there???

I believe when you confront your work and all aspects of your work with dignity, respect and a hard work ethic there isn't much someone can throw at you to bring you down. Even if they do, it isn't permanent.

 

[Alle_Gory]

It's attitudes like this that definitely don't get you anywhere.

Who said it was an attitude? This is reality and sometimes you need to be careful with the kinds of people you're dealing with. Not everyone is your friend and appreciates what you do.

Sure 'miscommunication' happens, but sometimes people are just *******s for no reason and you need to deal with it effectively.

 

[FieldReportGuy7]

Anazon, In my opinion Being Liked and getting along with your co workers will get you far than the dude whose a douche and have this " my way or the highway" mentality.

Things just get done a lot quicker, more efficiently if theres less drama and tension in the workplace.

I understand were your coming from. You don't have to like one another, but it can't come to the point were its just freakin awkward and there's constant talking behind each other's back in the office lounge trying to get people to side with you.

It just lowers the morale man...and that sh*t gets old real quick.

 

[azanon]

Anazon, In my opinion Being Liked and getting along with your co workers will get you far than the dude whose a douche and have this " my way or the highway" mentality.

I didn't suggest "my way or the highway" mentality. I'm just saying instead of focusing on being loved (or hated, such as my way or the highway), focus on an unrelated goal such as power. In Machivelli's, The Prince, he talks about a balance between being loved and feared, as if to view those things as tools in a grander scheme. Being too worried about how loved one is, can end up requiring you to sell your soul, ... or your balls.

But my main point is that motivated young folks are the norm, in my experience. That usually lasts up to 3 years before most of them "settle in".