how do you explain this?

[hb]

you know how when someone is afraid to talk to a girl its because of confidence or whatever.... but with me even when i know the girl really likes me, i still hesitate to talk to her.

I had gotten this girls number a couple of months back but i never called, now i want to get it again and i know she'd give it to me but i just dont feel like asking her.

some girl gave me her number a while back and i told her i wasnt feeling her and now she looks reallllll good and she still gives me signs here and there but for some reason i just cant ask her for her number.............. social phobia? cant be cause im very sociallllllll

Do you just think this feeling (i think its adrenaline, my heart starts beating faster and w/e) is normal and i gotta learn to use it to my benefit?

 

[chlywly]

Yes its still fear, fear that somewhow something will **** up, fear that maybe shes so good that you will get rejected for not playing your game right, fear that if you have such a good time you wont want to let go and it all may fall apart on you.

All fear, all phobia!, Leave your fears behind, all of us can do so much more without them.

Live by the day, good luck... these are things that we're all working on to some level or another.

 

[xblitz44x]

The appearence of her, and her perceived "perfection" standing in front of you acts as a mirror and reflects back to you the opposite of those perfections, which would be WEAKNESSES in yourself. Basically when you are in front of her you feel vulnerable because you feel like your flaws are exposed and that she's going to SEE through your game and into how fvcked up you really are. The hotter she is, the more intense the reflection of her "perfection", the stronger the feeling of vulnerability. It happens to everybody, even the toughest, best DJs who would NEVER admit they feel self-conscious.

The best thing to do is to keep reminding yourself that this girl is only that powerful because you MAKE her that powerful. The perfection is just an illusion, her strengths very well may not be there at all. Maybe she has a stinky pvssy, maybe she's TERRIBLE and uncoordinated in bed, maybe she farts when she's getting fvcked, maybe she's a nutjob with ZERO self-confidence. Who knows, just see that whatever you project onto her is just an illusion.

-Blitz

 

[hb]

thank you for both replying but yo blitz, u just slap me in the head with something that makes sense.......... its definitely self consciousness, i feel like my flaws are really showing themselves, and i tottally ignore the fact that she knows she has flaws and she probably feels the same way i do about them.........
Thats why most people wait for that "perfect" opportunity when they are "perfect" and the situation is also "perfect"

so the basic truth about confidence is bull****ting yourself until u believe it.............

 

[TesuqueRed]

Try desensitivity training.

 

[chlywly]

No confidence is not BULL****TING yourself until you believe it, for saying that alone denies ever achieving it, getting confidence is KNOWING not bull****ting, feeling!... You can't fool yourself sorry.

 

[hb]

ur right but what i meant to say was, NOONES PERFECT and that little imperfection can seem HUGE if you allow it to. U can definitely feel confident but you cant truly ever feel untouchable.
So u have to bull**** urself when it comes to those imperfectionsss, the same way u bull**** urself into believing those imperfections are bigger then they really are. get it?