How do you escalate kino smoothly?

[jobluek]

Hey guys,

Let me preface this post by saying that I'm a little too old, and been reading these boards a little too long to post a question like this. To be honest, after reading all of the "guides" here, and these message boards, I think that I've simply become a skeptic with women in general, hence the issue I'm having.

I'm great at talking to people, and if you ask my friends they'll say I talk to more women than all of them combined. There's a new girl I met (through friends) about 3 months ago, and I'm really ticked that I haven't done anything about this yet.

She's a cute little asian girl who's extremely smart (finishing her Ph.D at a top school) but is also cool and likes to party. She doesn't play games, is very punctual, returns calls quickly, and is down for anything. In other words, she's a keeper. When I first met her, we were all talking about a soccer team we were going to start, and she instantly said she wanted to join--she already played on a different team, and actually quit that team to play with us.

Since then she's pretty much became one of the crew; we play weekly, and usually go out drinking at least once a week as well. As we've gotten to know each other, we found we have a ton in common. Long story short, I know she's into me. After one of our recent games, no one else could go out to the bar afterwards, but she insisted that just us go. Tonight we went out to the park and practiced even though the rest of the team couldn't make it, too.

Hence why I'm pissed that I haven't done anything about this yet. I believe my issue is with kino. I just plain suck at it. Everytime I do it, I feel like she'll be able to see through my intentions and say something that will make it awkward, like why are you touching my shoulder? I just am not smooth about it. I think she's the same way. I'm usually better when I get some drinks in me/her, or when it's loud at a bar, but she's actually dropping alcohol for lent, since she's been sloppy drunk a bit recently. Quite inconvenient for me.

Therefore, I'm regrettably turning here to get some advice; what's the best approach to escalate kino on this girl that I'd consider a close friend and who I think is into me? This should be a sure thing, I'm just not "so suave" about it, and why I'm on this board.

 

[jobluek]

And simply to justify my view...

A couple weeks ago we all went out drinking, my older brother was in town and staying the night. Since I have a studio and no place for him to crash, I said I'd give him my place and crash at a friend's. However, as we went out and I realized it was 2:00am and too late to call my buddy to let me in (his wife wouldn't have appreciated it), I asked the girl, who was out with us, if I could crash at her place.

She was cool with it and I dropped my brother at home and went over there. She was drunk, I was sober. I initiated a little kino, and she seemed to sound a little disappointed that I was taking her couch. It's not like she offered her bed to me, but more like she was disappointed I wasn't going to make a move.

I actually have no idea why I'm not friend-zoned yet, but it will happen soon if I don't fix this.

 

[Rescue Mission]

How do you escalate kino smoothly? EXPERIENCE.

That's all you need.......the more experienced you are with women, the smoother of a player you become.

That is the correct answer, and anything else anyone else tells you is a lie.

 

[hyper_]

Yeah, Rescue Mission as a point here...

You have to do it over and over till you become good and it feels like second nature to you.

One thing I would add is:

Let's take a look at your beliefs,

Everytime I do it, I feel like she'll be able to see through my intentions and say something that will make it awkward, like why are you touching my shoulder?

This is what is stopping you from being able to kino. You are trying to do it in a sneaky way.

What is wrong with her seeing through your intentions? You should make no apologies for wanting to bang women. Be aggressive, take the lead, escalate.

Try looking at it the other way: You should make your intentions known by using kino! Kino is a definite sure way to let the girl know that you have a sexual intent and not just want to be a friend. There are others such as having a sexual presence and SOIing but try learning one at a time.

 

[Dante420]

This shouldn't even be a question (and yes I'm known for asking the simple questions) but let me ask you this, when you listen to music can you feel the beat? Maybe even the energy of the music?

If not that could explain why you don't know how to progress smoothly, smoothly should be what's casual to YOU as well as her

 

[jobluek]

Thanks hyper, I think you've identified the issue pretty well and I agree with the assessment. The resolution is the problem I'm having, but I guess it's time to just stop "waiting for the right moment" and make a move. If the right moment wasn't the time I crashed at her place, there never will be one.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

If you're not enjoying kino, and are seeing it as some foreign action that feels awkward, you're already in the wrong mindset and your concerns about coming off creepy are justified.

Mutual touch between two people who are attracted to each other should be spontaneous and enjoyable for both parties.

It's hard to describe how to get into this mindset, but you should feel good about vibing with a girl and giving her shoulder or hand a squeeze to emphasize a point as you're making her laugh or something.

And once you do that, it's magic... she'll start kino'ing you back if she has any interest in you at all. Pat her leg as you tease her. Flip her hair, play-hit her, I mean there's a million things that you can do, and it won't be creepy as long as you're not overthinking it or trying to grope her. Just enjoy yourself and LIVE IN THE MOMENT, this is fun man, she's into you! Stake your claim and go get her!!

 

[Lexington]

Your biggest issue is that you seem to feel guilty about it. She'll "see through your intention?" That's EXACTLY what you want! That's the whole point of kino; to communicate your interest to her without directly coming out and saying it!

Kino flows naturally if you're in the right state of mind. You should feel no guilt for wanting to bang this girl. That girl should take it as a compliment. Even if girls shoot guys down, they love being hit on.

If you're feeling turned on and you're unashamed about it (as you should be), everything else falls in place. Always keep in mind that girls want guys to make moves on them. Unless you make a move, you can't tell if she wants you in particular.

Just focus on being in the right state of mind. You should look up the Gunwitch Method. He explained very thoroughly and far better than I care to. Basically, we all have the ability to kino. It's natural! Body language existed long before verbal communication so it is deeply ingrained in all of us. You have to stop the intellectual part of your brain from suppressing the more animalistic areas.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Your biggest issue is that you seem to feel guilty about it. She'll "see through your intention?" That's EXACTLY what you want! That's the whole point of kino; to communicate your interest to her without directly coming out and saying it!

Kino flows naturally if you're in the right state of mind. You should feel no guilt for wanting to bang this girl. That girl should take it as a compliment. Even if girls shoot guys down, they love being hit on.

If you're feeling turned on and you're unashamed about it (as you should be), everything else falls in place. Always keep in mind that girls want guys to make moves on them. Unless you make a move, you can't tell if she wants you in particular.

Just focus on being in the right state of mind. You should look up the Gunwitch Method. He explained very thoroughly and far better than I care to. Basically, we all have the ability to kino. It's natural! Body language existed long before verbal communication so it is deeply ingrained in all of us. You have to stop the intellectual part of your brain from suppressing the more animalistic areas.

Excellent post