How do you become more approachable? (introvert)

[jboyd5]

I was having a conversation with my friends about people in class starting conversations with them, guys and girls. They were saying how people usually talk to them first and was wondering why people didn't do that to me. One of them said "your intimidating man", "how though, its not like i'm frowning with an angry face or closed off". I try to never close myself off and laugh/smile whenever necessary. I am pretty tall so I thought that's what it was at first, but recently read a thread that people tend to gravitate to taller people and are more confident around them.

I am just wondering if anyone knows the reasoning behind this and leaving me to always make the first move? What are some things you guys have experienced on being open and people approaching you instead?

 

[wifehunter]

Find a way to make them laugh.

 

[Serenity]

Used to be the same way for me, it's all about how you carry yourself. It's a lot easier to see why when you're looking at someone else than when looking at yourself.

One of my stranger experiences that taught me a lot about this happened by random chance. I was having a particularly good day, I'm not kidding when I say pretty much every other stranger greeted me when they walked by. I was very confused at first because nobody used to do that and it didn't feel like I would look any different than what I do any other day. That's where I was wrong though, I looked in the mirror with what I thought was my regular neutral expression and I was fvcking smiling. That blew my mind because I hadn't noticed it at all, my face felt the same. That's when I learned that my internal state of mind shines through in the way I carry myself without a single conscious thought about it.

It may be near indistinguishable to you, but others looking at you will literally see the difference. They may not be able to put their finger on what it is, but the very subtle difference will affect their overall perception of you.

You're probably sending out subtle signals that makes you unapproachable and asking anyone is of little help, because they're not even sure exactly what it is that makes you come off that way.

Most times I've been in a very good mood there's people coming at me and there's no effort from my side. I've had women become massively attracted to me in a very short time with zero effort when in that state of mind. First time that happened perplexed me for months, it didn't feel like I did anything special at all, I just generally felt good inside and went with the flow.

I also notice that when I'm bored or just feel neutral, people might occasionally talk to me, but for the most part they don't pay any attention to me. If you radiate positivity then people will for sure flock to you like moths around a light. Makes sense, everyone wants to be around the happy person hoping to lift their own mood.

Advice: Don't focus on the specifics of your behavioral expression, focus on what emotional state makes you automatically act the right way.

 

[Soldier King]

Stop waiting for people to approach you, approach them. What you want to receive, give.

But if you really want to sit there and do nothing and willing to wait longer, then smile at someone or make eye contact. If they smile back or hold your eye contact for a while you can approach.

You can approach at any time, you don't need 100 signals, I'm just telling you this because you don't seem to want to take a risk.