How do u manage her to pay her own stuff?

[Colonizer]

Here is the situation. You are in a day2 or day3 and u want to drink or eat something. You are buying the food or whatever and then what??? You see her standing there without saying a word… U ask her if she is hungry?? If you do that… she could take it like “I’m going to invite you”.

Do you put the “rules” before the date saying something about her paying her own stuff??? How do you manage to have a dinner, drink, etc with her without been u the one who pays all??

 

[Get-With-It]

Ask her if she's gonna buy herself something. If she says no then shrug and move on like its the most normal thing. As long as you dont make a big deal out of it, she shouldn't either.

 

[PeeGee]

I'm going to spare the bravado/funny comments here (okay I can't help it -- it's like training a dog):

You set the rules in the interaction. I tend to be a very generous guy when I go out -- I'll buy female friends things and not think twice about it.

The thing is, with girls I am genuinely interested in, I won't buy them squat, or at least I don't recall doing it. Since I'm naturally generous if I forget once or twice it's not a big deal. But at the same time I pay attention to how the girl responds. Most girls who aren't gold diggers will offer to pay their own way. Hell there's this one girl who keeps offering to pay me gas money. Comparatively she's one classy girl (I'm now realizing how crappy my friends are now...geez)

Get-With-It has the right idea -- just ask her if she's getting anything as if it's odd for her to be just 'standing there'. If she asks you to buy, decide based on how many dates it's been and whether you want to move to that step.

 

[Kevin Feng]

I'm from Los Angeles it's a pretty materialistic society over there.

Honestly, we're talking about a woman here, this isn't a car or house or anything. If you come across a high quality woman, I'm just gonna be real with you in my personal opinion, get used to paying for at least some of her stuff, coffee, dinner, etc etc.

You'll even hear Neil talk about it, the "never buy a girl a drink" as a hardfast rule is just stupid, they'll just think you're being a cheap son of a *****.

Personally, I can afford to buy women some things, and personally I dont mind advocating it unless the girl is blatantly trying to tool you.

If you're in a financially difficult situation ( i was about a year ago in college ), your best bet is to just tell her "look, i don't pay for things unless I'm in a relationship"

-Kevin