How do u guys not get attatched?

Richmond69

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2011
Messages
20
Reaction score
0
Ok so I've been workin all summer. I've been readin up on the site and I think I have the basics pretty much down. So anyway his summer I first really liked this one girl who goes to my school and works there to. I hit on her bunch and started to really like this girl, but lOng story short it didn't work out. I read up on here and recieved the advice to just move on to some other girl. So I did, I found this cute younger blonde that works there to. We seemed to really connect when I started gaming her. Like I was almost positive she liked me and everyone was asking if we had a thing but I said no we were jf haha. Anyway I really started to like this girl later on and still do but work ended yesterday so I won't see her anymore. Idk I was being really clingy yesterday and probably shouldn't have but idk it was the last day. Anyway so today I asked her to hangout this weekend she said she can't. I'm planning on just moving on but I want to know how u guys can just move on like I really liked this girl. I know the best advice is to just move on but how?
 

st_99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 20, 2006
Messages
1,786
Reaction score
58
How do u guys not get attatched?

Your question is pretty much the point of this entire message board. Its
kind of like the holy grail, the one who loves the other less is the winner.
 

Sh0t

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 26, 2005
Messages
134
Reaction score
4
The answer is two-fold.

Overall, you just learn to deal with it. Once you get good, you will be breaking-up with one girl a month easily. Most girls don't want to be in some player's harem, and will take off. Their departures will often suck, but you'll cheer yourself up in an hour as you arrive at the other girl's door.

In the beginning you have to realize flirting is not a relationship. you will eventually understand that your feelings are premature and it will eventually stop.

Second answer is that some of us are sociopaths and don't have traditional emotions. The best players are often completely amoral. Eventually, playing this game will give you a small bit of that.
 

PDubb75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2011
Messages
984
Reaction score
43
Location
Chicago
The best way to not get attached is to not put all your eggs in one basket. If you have multiple girls at a time, your feelings generally will not be centered on a single girl.

If you are looking for a relationship right off the bat, and are not interested in multiple plates, I think a lot of it is simply maturity. Maturity combined with experience. Once you go through it a couple times, you will realize there is no point in getting attached too early.
 

aura

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2011
Messages
70
Reaction score
4
Attachment is wonderful, as long as it's reciprocal and supportive, rather than one sided and/or exploitative.

Also, you can still remain friends with gals you've dated afterwards as well.

But in the situation you describe, it's pointless to focus on someone who clearly does not want to be in a relationship.

Richmond69 said:
Ok so I've been workin all summer. I've been readin up on the site and I think I have the basics pretty much down. So anyway his summer I first really liked this one girl who goes to my school and works there to. I hit on her bunch and started to really like this girl, but lOng story short it didn't work out. I read up on here and recieved the advice to just move on to some other girl. So I did, I found this cute younger blonde that works there to. We seemed to really connect when I started gaming her. Like I was almost positive she liked me and everyone was asking if we had a thing but I said no we were jf haha. Anyway I really started to like this girl later on and still do but work ended yesterday so I won't see her anymore. Idk I was being really clingy yesterday and probably shouldn't have but idk it was the last day. Anyway so today I asked her to hangout this weekend she said she can't. I'm planning on just moving on but I want to know how u guys can just move on like I really liked this girl. I know the best advice is to just move on but how?
 

Richmond69

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2011
Messages
20
Reaction score
0
Haha all of what u guys have said is pretty much what I figured, and it sux. I mean come on, whoever loves the other the less is the winner? That seems ****ing retarded but I know it's the truth. This stuff takes some getting used to haha
 

Scars

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 20, 2007
Messages
2,156
Reaction score
1,016
Age
34
Location
Phoenix
Richmond69 said:
Haha all of what u guys have said is pretty much what I figured, and it sux. I mean come on, whoever loves the other the less is the winner? That seems ****ing retarded but I know it's the truth. This stuff takes some getting used to haha
Once you've had a couple heartbreaks under your belt, been emotionally/physically/mentally abused and used, dated a borderline, and/or start consistently failing with woman, and realizing that woman are selfish creatures that have no regard to your feelings and only their own happiness, you start to develop some thick skin. And unfortunately, unless you're a sociopath, it's going to take all of these things before you ever become truly detached.

My advice for now is to just simply stay busy. Use distractions such as hobbies. The less you think about her, the less feelings you will develop. Don't try and expect too much either. Don't think every girl you start dating/fvcking/flirts with you is going to become your girlfriend. And the number one thing, SPIN plates. It's hard to fall in love with a girl when you have a back up anytime she starts to give you lip. Nah what I mean?

-Scars
 

C-quenced

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 15, 2008
Messages
581
Reaction score
62
Location
Purgatory
Richmond69 said:
We seemed to really connect when I started gaming her.
Be careful with false positives. It's just YOU and you alone that seemed to really connect. Not "we". You'll meet plenty more attention wh0res along the way. With experience (hopefully you're willing to open your eyes and accept the truth about the nature of women, in it's entirety) you'll leave yourself no other choice but to become detached. It'll come naturally.
 

typical

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2005
Messages
1,245
Reaction score
256
Location
Auckland, New Zealand
Scars said:
Once you've had a couple heartbreaks under your belt, been emotionally/physically/mentally abused and used, dated a borderline, and/or start consistently failing with woman, and realizing that woman are selfish creatures that have no regard to your feelings and only their own happiness, you start to develop some thick skin. And unfortunately, unless you're a sociopath, it's going to take all of these things before you ever become truly detached.

My advice for now is to just simply stay busy. Use distractions such as hobbies. The less you think about her, the less feelings you will develop. Don't try and expect too much either. Don't think every girl you start dating/fvcking/flirts with you is going to become your girlfriend. And the number one thing, SPIN plates. It's hard to fall in love with a girl when you have a back up anytime she starts to give you lip. Nah what I mean?

-Scars
Well said mate. And remember most of the times when we get into a painful relationship its because we fool ourselves into looking at the relationship through rose tinted glasses. Remember to always be rational and look at things from an outsiders perspective
 

serDUDE

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 6, 2011
Messages
38
Reaction score
0
Location
Macedonia,Skopje
@Richmond69

the answer is in the way you think and imagine things,if you think about hugging and just cuddling with girls or how great is to being romantic then you are forcing that kind of chemicals in you and you feel attached as a result
on the other hand if you imagine just having fun and not woring about others or just ****ing girls and moving on and trying to **** every girl in reach then you will be seen more as an ******* but you will not fell attached at least one month [or more] if you stick seeing the same girls [or one girl and you juggle the others-but never just one girl/monogamous]

in simple stop thinking monogamous [:nono: society will not like you :trouble: LOL]

btw.i just remembered something that i think that David DeAngelo said
that is that this chemicals that cause attraction are there because the nature wants you to leave new babes behind so that the human kind will survive in the end,and that this feeling unless it is refreshed by new and exiting things if you stick with the same girl will go away after few months[remember: unless it is refreshed by new and exiting things]
 

Alex DeLarge

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 26, 2011
Messages
845
Reaction score
25
The best way to stay detached is to not get your hopes up about anything.

I was just seeing a girl recently, an HB8 who seemed awesome at first.. She seemed like perfect GF material, but then she just stopped talking to me. I was pretty upset about it and still am, but I gotta move on.

Earlier this summer I had an FWB and still do. We would just hook up whenever we felt like it. One day after 3 weeks she told me she didn't want to do it anymore, I was completely fine with it and moved on. We still talk as friends all the time and we have hooked up once since then.
 

Richmond69

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2011
Messages
20
Reaction score
0
]Haha but what I'm sayin is I wasn't looking for anything outa this girl at first. But then other workers started asking about us so I decided Id go for her and that's when I started to see her lose interest I think. But anyway I'm just now starting to get over it so it's all good. I wish this **** wasn't so hard for me haha
 
Top