How do I tell her I know she slept with her ex

[skinnydart]

I go to a Christian university, the girl I'll be talking about and I am Christians as well.

I dated this girl for a while, things went really well, then she broke it off for reasons she "can't explain". That really pertrubed me seeing that I'm a guy and like to know why things happen. I start looking into things, pulling up logs of convos, putting together all these little pieces of the puzzle, what her friends have told her, etc. It turns out that she slept with her ex a year ago or so. Now she feels like she doesn't "deserve" a nice genuine guy like me, because she's "not the innnocent-little-sara I think she is" and she's also said "there is one big thing in my past that I regret".

I'm trying to figure out a way to tell her "I know you slept with your ex and that doens't matter to me, I still want to date you" without sounding like a complete idiot if for some reason I'm wrong (or if she just won't admit to it). I have talked with several of her friends and we have come up with the same conclusions.

Like right now, she thinks that if I found out that she did sleep with her ex, I'm going to be shocked and leave any relationship we would have had, but I don't really care.

So I want to show her that I know, but if I'm wrong for some reason, I just want her to be confused as to what I'm talking about, but I can't think of a way to tell her that.

This is the only thing I could come up with so far:

Regardless of that event which happened between you and Caleb, that still would not have changed what I thought about you.

But with this one, it doesn't make it clear enough that I know, like she could just be thinking I'm talking about how her ex abused her (non sexually).

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by skinnydart
Now she feels like she doesn't "deserve" a nice genuine guy like me, because she's "not the innnocent-little-sara I think she is" and she's also said "there is one big thing in my past that I regret".

Translation: "I'm using the nicest excuse possible to let you know you don't turn me on sexually."

Sorry but that's the truth buddy. Did you actually believe that women are so selfless to actually give up something they TRULY want out of guilt? Hahaha, no it just gives them a great excuse to put you down nicely and not feel like crap. "Oh you're too good for me!!!" You believe that crap?

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

Sorry but you need a wake up call. I hope I gave it to you.

 

[DJDamage]

She broke things off with you, let it go.

Its not your business no more, if she wanted to share that detail with you she would have. Remember she didn't break up with you because of the secret, she broke up with you because she wasn't into you.

Your best bet is to keep your mouth shut, move on and find another girl.

 

[CraigMack]

Why don't you save yourself the heartache and just break up with her. It's not worth you having to complain about her every week on this board.

 

[Interpol]

Re: Re: How do I tell her I know she slept with her ex

Originally posted by TillTheEndOfTime
Translation: "I'm using the nicest excuse possible to let you know you don't turn me on sexually."

 

[siph]

Re: Re: How do I tell her I know she slept with her ex

Originally posted by TillTheEndOfTime
Translation: "I'm using the nicest excuse possible to let you know you don't turn me on sexually."

its right, you dont want to tell her how you care, give it some space and make her want your body again. your a badass dude, dont let the way she soothed you for soo long weaken your resolve.

 

[Ebach]

i say get on with your life... and i mean it

 

[Bonhomme]

This post is painful to read.

Move on. Just like the others said. It's standard lame excuse #378. Her romantic interest level is about zero at best. Probably well into the minus figures.

Start fresh with other gals. Improve, improve, and improve, until you have some success stories to post.

You can bet "sweet innocent little Sara" will "regret this thing in her past" until the next guy comes along who turns her on enough for her to add another "regret" to her list.

Don't buy it. A lot of women use "morals" to ward off guys they're not interested in, just as a lot of guys use use "morals" as a cop-out to avoid initiating sexual interactions: such avoidance is a big turn-off to women, in a general sense.

One needn't take things all that far, but it's easy enough for gals to tell the difference between a guy who's holding back out of restraint, and one who's not making a move on account of being chicken. Guess which guy the "good girls" prefer?

Ignore her and/or tell her you just want to be friends.

 

[coder]

Why don't you just become a priest since you will not give up on this girl and she is not the least bit interested in you? That, or maybe buy her a ring and propose marriage so maybe she will reject you hard enough for you to get it though your thick head that she's not interested. She's tried to be nice about it, but you just won't accept it. Do you think there aren't any other women in the world? Or do you just not have the balls to try for another one? Maybe you don't have the balls because you slipped yours into her purse while she wasn't looking. There's a great source of information you can use to start meeting other girls that may actually like you. It's called the DJ Bible. You should read it.

Or just disregard the advice that everyone is giving you and make up some stupid shyt to convince yourself of to explain why she won't be your g/f eventhough she thinks your so great. Why do you want to torture yourself so much anyway?

 

[PRMoon]

I'm not going to say anything other then whatevery other guy has just told you is dead on.

Don't embarass yourself trying to go down a trail that has a "No tresspassers THIS MEANS YOU" sign posted right out in front.

 

[AmazingTricks]

This post isn't sad!!!

DAMNIT MAN.

Bang her, like you always wish you had, and run!!!

and show her what she'll be missing yanahmean

 

[Luveno]

So you wanna solve this?

Here's how you do it:


"""Now she feels like she doesn't "deserve" a nice genuine guy like me, because she's "not the innnocent-little-sara I think she is" and she's also said "there is one big thing in my past that I regret"."""

Of course any novice DJ can tell you thats ******** for " I'm not sexually attracted to you anymore".

How you should have answered that is, " You're right. You don't deserve me." and walked right out, or hung up. Done.

She would probably come back and you'd hit it, and then quit it.
Or f#ck it and chuck it, or whatever saying you wanna use.

I have also yet to meet a christian who actually follows the teachings of the Bible non-selectively.

 

[n00bPimp]

Theres no way in hell to say that without sounding like a complete AFC.

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by skinnydart
...then she broke it off for reasons she "can't explain".... I start looking into things, pulling up logs of convos, putting together all these little pieces of the puzzle, what her friends have told her, etc. It turns out that she slept with her ex a year ago or so... I have talked with several of her friends and we have come up with the same conclusions.

No offense, but this is borderline stalker/psycho sh*t.

Now she feels like she doesn't "deserve" a nice genuine guy like me, because she's "not the innnocent-little-sara I think she is" and she's also said "there is one big thing in my past that I regret".

You're right. There was a time that you interested her and excited her, but instead of taking it to the next level you failed to satisfy her needs and she moved on. It's not that she feels guilty, it's not that she's upset. She simply has no interest in you anymore. I could be off base, but through extensive experience I'd recommend that next girl you get you try to not be androgynous (or non-sexual) with. Face it, women want a man. From what you've posted, you're not the buffest guy (not like any of us are huge either) or into any athletics... And not to be cynical, but bible study doesn't get a girls juices flowing. If you want to hold off until marriage, or want to find a relationship that will last without sexuality being a factor of it, go for it. Just realize that this is going to be the first in a long series of failed relationships unless you start making some major changes.

I'm trying to figure out a way to tell her "I know you slept with your ex and that doens't matter to me, I still want to date you" without sounding like a complete idiot if for some reason I'm wrong (or if she just won't admit to it).

If you haven't been listening to what every single person in this thread has said, and are instead waiting for one person to come on here and say "it's going to be okay, she loves you and really does feel bad - as soon as you tell her this she'll run into your arms and you can live happily ever after" so that you'll see that someone else is saying what you blindly want to believe is true, it's not what's really happening. Relationship over. Kaput.

Like right now, she thinks that if I found out that she did sleep with her ex, I'm going to be shocked and leave any relationship we would have had, but I don't really care.

She already left, bud... and there's a good chance that as your relationship with her was dying down, her relationship with someone else was picking up. That's just the way things work...

So I want to show her that I know, but if I'm wrong for some reason, I just want her to be confused as to what I'm talking about, but I can't think of a way to tell her that.

You're going to come off as needy, insecure, and unable to cope with the reality of a situation. You've been here long enough to know what you should do... do it.

 

[dietzcoi]

At the risk of upsetting the mods, I once again have to point out how the so-called "Christians" are more fukked up than any hoes out there.

She feels bad about sleeping with her ex over one year ago?

Bullsh1t, she is just trying to run you off.

You better break free of the religious matrix or you are going to have a real troubled life.

Dietzcoi