How do I stay "sexual" over time?

[Huffman]

Hey guys, I don't really have high hopes for this board anymore, but figured I'd ask anyway

I feel that a lot of girls are initially very attracted to me, and I ramp it up by flirting & getting numbers... but after things often cool down.
I mean you're at a date, and no matter what you're doing, you're spending several hours together... even if it's an action date, you end up talking blabla this blabla that, and I have a hard time escalating from there.

Maybe I talk about boring subjects? What would be a good way to steer the conversation in a more "sexual" direction?

Right now, I can only maintain attraction if I run away quickly, but that works only in the beginning for me.

 

[brekke]

Just make a move for what you want. I will ask bra size, and guess it. I will say like "B cups?". Then she says C and I call her a liar, bla bla bla. Just talk about what interests you that is also sexual in nature I guess.

 

[ARrocket]

Give us an example of a typical date you are on. Venue, conversation, etc.

You have to start escalating right from the beginning. You can't sit around having a conversation with her for an hour and then expect to be sexual just like that.

The kind of date your on really sets the tone for this. If you're going for drinks, playing a game of pool, or taking a walk, or most other action date, you can really kino it up and escalate fairly easily. The thing is, even if you are with her for a few hours at a time, your conversation doesn't have to be stale and ordinary because of the action. Notice sights, sounds, and people all around you, tell stories to DHV, joke around, tease her, ALL WHILE DOING WHATEVER ACTIVITY YOU ARE DOING! If you are doing this and you are progressing in your escalation, it should be easy to go from there

EDIT: If you are talking more long term than one date, your conversations will not always be sexual...your words don't have to be sexual, as long as your body language is, and you keep things fun and interesting.

 

[Huffman]

Hey, sorry for the late reply.

Yeah it's pretty much what you said, sometimes I don't see a good opportunity to escalate right away (like touching). And once you've started like that it only gets harder. I really have to admit i've had dates where nothing but boring smalltalk was going on.

I guess the solution is to start on a "sexual" vibe from the very beginning, such as touching when greeting (even if you're strangers) etc.
Because if you wait too long then it really gets difficult to start.

I really should get that rooted in my subconscious, that touching is ok... I mean I've touched quite some girls already D), but I always had to kick myself to do it. It only comes naturally when I'm drunk, or when we've had sex already. I don't really get it, because I've had only good experiences for some time. Sometimes something is holding me back, dunno really. Maybe more experience will fix it.

Same with conversation bout sex etc., I got to get used to taking more risks. It's really always the same hehe.

P.S.: was about "short term" dates.

 

[Hakuna]

Constantly get out of your comfort zone. Try and go to different places for dates, places where you haven't gone. Change your style of clothing, humor, the subjects you normally talk about, everything. Get out of your comfort zone in your "single" life to feed your creativity. Do things you never do like play an instrument, go bungee jumping, learn a new language, read diff books, etc.

You don't always need to worry about escalating, it'll probably just make you too self-conscious. You'll always be worried that your conversation is "boring" and you'll constantly want to change the direction of your talk if you feel that it's to un-sexual. Make your conversations sexual, but don't worry about taking every single one in that direction. And making your conversations sexual and interesting is a skill, it takes practice so use all your dates as opportunities to get better at it.

And what you said about maintaining attraction in the beginning is true. It's easy, you really only have to do a few basic things (don't be to clingy, to desperate, to available etc). I think guys find it harder to maintain their masculine pretense as time passes. If you limit how often you see/talk to the girl, it might help. If you only see her twice a week and show up sometimes unexpectedly, I would imagine that it would be much easier to generate a sexual vibe.

 

[Diaforetikos]

Read my signature. It has some decent tips on being sexual.


When you are building comfort with a girl, there will be lulls at certain points on the date, but that's expected. Don't try to constantly avoid them. Its not natural, and it'll throw your game off.

What I usually do during lulls is point out how awkward they are, then start talking about some awkward situations I've had. This usually makes the girls laugh and it opens right back up again.

 

[Huffman]

Thanks for your tips. Sometimes I feel like I'm running in circles... I mean I pretty much know most of it, but I gotta go for it a bit more. Oh well, time to get some more experience!

Oh Diaforetikos by the way, I had actually bookmarked your thread before, just noticed now