Alright, now think about this for a second. How do you feel when you are about to squat 365 or deadlift 405? Keep in mind that last time you only squatted 355 and deadlifted 395. What's the thought process going through your head?
Are you sh!tting your pants right there staring at those plates? Or are you saying to yourself, "Phew. Here we go! Let's see how many reps I can get."
In the former case, you're unsure and are afraid of the extra weight. You're seriously fearing for your life and are suffering from low self esteem and negative attitude.
But in the latter case, you're sure of yourself but you're keeping the reality in check because you know that is a lot of weight and it will be new personal best for you. BUT you get under that bar or you wrap your hands around that bar on the floor because you KNOW that even if you can't get 5 reps, you can maybe get at least 1 rep. ONE REP! That's all that matters to you. Even then, you will have tested yourself and seen that you can handle it for 1 rep but not for 5 so you need to step it up. Change your diet or do extra sets or take an extra day off.
You got to apply the same mindset when it comes to socializing and girls. Right now, you're scared sh!tless to even step out of your comfort zone or even appreicate a compliment from a girl. You're stuck in this endless vortex of negative, self-defeating mindsets that you can't seem to break out of. You're afraid to step up and get underneath that bar to squat that 365. You're afarid to talk to some random girl/dude or appreciate a compliment from some girl.
You got to stop doing that man. And thinking about how your mind works when you are breaking new records in the weight room can help you break that cycle.
You can start stepping out of your comfort zone, even by an inch. You don't have to go all out and try and become the life of the party. Just go an extra step. Go a little bit further than you normally would. Grab that bar and lift it for one more rep. Just do it!
See how you feel afterwards. You will feel either of the two things. 1) "Oh crap, I messed up and made a fool of myself. I'm such a loser. Forget this, I'm going to go back to my old ways." or 2) "Damn, that was embarassing. Oh well, at least I learned not to do THAT next time. There must be something else I should've/could've done. Hmm..time to test it out again."
Do you see the difference between the two? In the first one, you resort back to your old low self-esteem ways of self-talk and essentially give up. This would be equivalent of you failing to complete a rep of 405 DL and saying, "Screw it, I'm going to stick to doing 395 from now on. 405 if just too painful."
In the second one, you are being objective. But you also acknoweldge your embarassment as a feeling. Yet you know that you are better than that and there must be some other way. That would be like you failing to lift 405 DL and thinking, "Hmm, ok maybe I need to try this next time or just try 400 or do something else."
Right now, a good step outside your comfort zone would be calling that girl. Yeah, that's it...just call her. Don't pressure yourself and say to yourself, "I have to get a date with her or I fail." No, screw that. Stop making women your goals. I think that's the biggest subconscious mistake lot of guys make. Nobody tells you NOT to make women your goals. That's one reason why I've disliked the idea of bootcamps because you HAVE to get X number of phone numbers, X number of dates, etc. You're just putting too much pressure on yourself. And when you do that, you stop having FUN with it.
Some of the biggest seducers I know are guys who just have FUN with girls. They don't go out with a purpose in mind to get laid. They go out to have fun. Keep that in mind.
So yeah, just call her up and start talking to her. See where the convo leads. By simple act of dialing her number and talking to her about WHATEVER for couple of minutes will be you stepping out of your comfort zone.
I'm going to stop here because there is a lot to digest in this post. Apply your weight lifting experience, mindset, and principles to girls. Hell, I'd say apply the same things to your life in general. See what happens.
