How do I ask her out? (Not as straight forward as you might think)

[someguyuk]

Hi guys

Long time lurker, first time poster. I'll try and keep this short, as your time is valuable, as is mine.

Im 22, and I like this girl (19) at the Christian Union at university. We've got quite a good friendship at the moment, and we're fairly comfortable with physical contact.

Sounds great, right? The only problem is this other guy I know. He's 19, and he likes her as well. He's way better looking than me, but i think we're fairly similar to each other. We had a talk about liking her the other night, because I dont want my friendship with him to suffer if she goes out with one of us, However, he told me that he was stroking her leg for about 10 minutes, and she didnt tell him to stop or anything.

The girl in question has opened up to me about her boyfriend splitting up with her 4 weeks ago, and we generally have quite a fun interaction with each other, but she knows that if she needs someone to turn to, I'm there. While this girl was with her boyfriend a month ago, I really did like her, but tried to transfer my feelings onto another girl (Which I know wasnt fair of me) and asked her for loads of advice on how to ask that girl out. However, I've realised I can't ignore my feelings for her now. I'm leaving university in 3 months, and I need to know if there could be something there, simply to avoid getting to 35 and thinking "what if"

So my question is this. How do I ask this girl out? This guy, who also likes her, seems to think she'll turn me down if I ask her out. I'd be tempted to agree because of how bad looking I am, but that isnt the issue. I just need to know if there could be anything there. We're also both Christians, so are there any special dispensations I should be making?

So any ideas?

 

[arlanda]

First, I have a question for you ... what's your plan for the date?

 

[someguyuk]

Plan for the date is quick drink in a bar somewhere before going iceskating (the whole action date thing).

 

[snobby]

Well since she is a "friend" just ask her if she wants to hangout, go for a drink or something. Guys tend to think that asking a girl to hangout is a big deal...ii's not! Just do it and chances are she will just say yes. If she goes out with you for some coffee or something, the rest is history. Play your game right, don't be boring, use c&f on her, push and pull technique, etc.

 

[Tazman]

I can't really give advice on HOW you should do this, but I think it's important she know you have sexual feelings for her, like your friend who was rubbing her leg. If you try and be all sweet and go the friend route it will repel her when you make a move. Above all, don't tell her you like her, show her. Do you flirt at all with her?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Don't ever use the word "date." Make her wonder if she is on a date or not. If she asks, "is this a date?" then tease her for trying to hit on you. Take her out, have fun, and then *kiss her* or the evening will only have worked to push you farther into the friends zone.

We're also both Christians, so are there any special dispensations I should be making?

Just be careful not to be too much of a Mr Nice Guy. Lead the way; don't ever seek approval or ask her if she had a good time. Assume the sale.

 

[someguyuk]

Do you flirt at all with her?

I guess we do. We have a kind of play fighting thing going on, which is always good as it eliminates the touch barrier.

However, just lately, she's told me a couple of times "there are other ways you can hold my hand" when i've been fighting with her. She said this once when we were having something to eat, another time when we were in the pub.

I suppose there is always the possibility this girl is a sunshine girl, which would suck ass.

Any specific articles from the DJB I should have a look at?

 

[Bible_Belt]

she's told me a couple of times "there are other ways you can hold my hand"

hello?!? multiple IOI passing you by!

Right now she is talking with her friends about you, saying "I've already told him twice that I like him, but he just won't do anything. He must not like me."

disclaimer: don't *tell* her you like her; take her out and make her wonder.

 

[Maximus Rex]

How To Ask Her Out

Welcome aboard guy. I hope you find this site as useful as I do. First of all get the notion of asking for anything out of your mind. Asking for a date kinda like supplicating yourself to her.

Here's what you should do:

Someguyuk: Hey_____. I'm going to for some______. After class. You should come.
Chick:Cool.

This is a very direct method of asking for a date without supplicating yourself. Either she'll agree to go or she'll say she has something else planned. If she shoots you down. Move on to the next chick. Only give a chick ONE TIME TO REJECT YOU!!!! Good luck.

 

[Juan_Man]

Ask her out on a date before your friend does. Beat that sucka to the punch. Also, let her know from the start that you are interested in her. Most guys end up in the friends zone because they try to conceal their intentions because they are scared of coming on too strong. Don't do that!

 

[aftershock]

Go for it mate.

Shes given you IOIs. Grab some balls, ask her out somewhere. Actually, I think you have enough IOIs that she'd go on a date to a pig farm if you asked her.

 

[brucevangeorge]

Plan for the date is quick drink in a bar somewhere before going iceskating (the whole action date thing).

Read your post again. Seriously.:crackup: