How did you rid YOUR jealousy?

[netman]

I admit that I got burned in the past which sparked my jealousy, but I live the DJ way now, except for slight signs of the "green eyed monster".

I know that it's AFC and totally against the DJ world to be jealous and insecure, but I'd like to know if anyone out there ever been a jealous guy and what they did or how they changed their thought process to turn it around.

 

[So pimp its scary]

That is difficult. I still feel jealousy from time to time when I see my woman talking to another guy.

One thing I did that helped was to concentrate on the fact that you are the one fukking her, and not the other guy.

It's not so much that you can't feel jealousy, just don't act in a jealous way.

 

[bugsquish]

Wow you reminded me of a lot there. It was a bit of an awakening for me. I realised that any little incident that would at one time make me jealous should actually make me feel less guilty about my polyamorous mindset These days I'm GLAD if a girl I'm with gets friendly with another guy cuz it gives me an excuse to slip away and do my thing.

 

[Starman]

I started a thread about this a while back..do a search for jealousy

essentially Jealousy is the threat of competition..and the feeling of being abandoned for someone "better"

on the subconscious level..it stems from feelings of insecurity of who you are as a person and question your own sense of worth

In order to get rid of jealousy..you have to take the first step in developing your inner sense of value and self worth (i.e. believing you TRULY are the "prize" and the girl is in awe to be in your presence)

Masking Jealousy is one thing..but the feelings will always follow you around until you work on the inner you first

 

[bugsquish]

Originally posted by Starman
In order to get rid of jealousy..you have to take the first step in developing your inner sense of value and self worth (i.e. believing you TRULY are the "prize" and the girl is in awe to be in your presence)

Masking Jealousy is one thing..but the feelings will always follow you around until you work on the inner you first

I guess that explans my "awakening".

 

[Kid-Icarus]

ok.here we go

cant avoid being jealous.....you wouldnt be human if you never felt jealousy....unless you truly love your chick and know she would NEVER mess around with anyone, i dont see hows thats possible...

Robots are the only things i know not capable of showing jealousy so like so pimp its scary said just dont act jealous and be all immature about...you're the 1bangin her (hopefully) and unless shes already cheating u aint got nothin 2worry about.

thats my 2cents....back 2 the shadows

 

[Kwah]

I dont rightly know, all I know is that Im superior in every way to my girls ex's and that keeps me happy. I also try very hard not to let my trust in her judgement slip, hence Im rather careful

 

[Juan_Man]

One question. If you have a feeling that your girl is banging or thinking about banging another dude, how do you investigate?

 

[One on One]

I get jealous like a ***** when I'm even half interested in a girl. Tonight I saw a girl's away message and she is visiting an all-male dorm hall. ****, she IMs me every day and has sky high IL, but I don't like that she might be into other guys too. Then, I was into an attention ***** this summer and, of course, she was always talking about other guys.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Figure out exactly why you are getting upset with your jealousy. Do you think she is having a more interesting conversation with someone else, is the other guy more outgoing? Until you become the best that you can be at things like that, you will always get those uneasy feelings.

Once you become secure with your own abilities in those areas, you will find that you could care less about what is going on. Either she will be right back at your side because she knows that you are the best OR too dense to recognize what a catch you are and you could do better with someone else. NEXT!

 

[drZaius09]

Originally posted by Juan_Man
One question. If you have a feeling that your girl is banging or thinking about banging another dude, how do you investigate?

Here's what you do:

First, find a comfortable chair or sofa, preferably facing a large, flat-screen television. Next, take your favorite cigarette paper (I prefer JOB 1.5's), fold it, and fill with the sweet smelling herbs of Northern California (or any other variety available). Now lick the glue, roll tight, and put some fire to that bad boy. Inhale slowly so as to enjoy every last smokey molecule as they penetrate your pulmonary membranes. Ahhhhh... now what was it you wanted to investigate? That's what I thought...

 

[jnallen]

A lot of jealousy to an extreme is bad.

A little jealousy is good. Like a defense mechanism.

I was jealous one time with a chick I was dating. She didn't like it and I changed and had a sort of I don't care attitude.

And I got burned.

It depends on a lot. If a chick is doing something to make you jealous then it is time to corrected it with her or bail.

Just my experience anyway

For the most part Starman nailed it though

Just keep the attitude no matter who you are with there are a lot of hotties out here.

 

[b's nuts]

when im with my girl, and some guy starts talking to her, and i feel a little jealousy sparkin' up, i will just grab her ass or something, make sure they see. sort of like "yeah, mother fvcker, this is mine" and the jealousy goes away that easy.

 

[netman]

I think my jealousy is more like, "I wonder who's trying to talk to her in the train today" or "I wonder if the classmate next to her in her college class is trying to make convo with her, thinking that he has hope with her if she's just being friendly and she responds." My LTR is a HB9, so I know that she's gets approached and looked at more than the average HB. Plus she wears tight clothes and stuff like that.

I can't help and can't stand thinking this way sometimes, but I definitely hold my tongue about these things. I guess that's the first step. But what's the second step?!?!?!

 

[jnallen]

Second step:

Realize jealousy will make you lose her in the long run. Think of past failures and don't repeat.

As bad as it hurts you can never let them see you sweat. Some chicks try to make you jealous. You just have to rise above that and realize you are the prize, not them. No matter how hot they are.

Hot chicks aren't as secure as you think they are and don't get approached as much as you think. A lot of guys are timid and afraid they will get shot down. That is ehy you see a lot of hot chicks are single. That aside from being a nutball

The more hot chicks or chicks period you hang out with or have as friends the higher your self esteem and if you do get dumped you have a network of people setting you up

 

[Reto]

This is what I did. You may or may not agree.

But, I tend to keep hooking up with Attn wh0res. It never lasts or works out.

So, with my current girl, I've got it in my head it's not going to last. So, it doesn't bother me when she talks to and hangs with guy friends. If and when it ends, there's another around the corner.

I don't get jealous (well sometimes) and I've been able to keep control of my emotions.

It's funny though. She is so jealous of me talking or hanging with girls...LOL...

We've been together almost a year...

 

[GirlCrazy]

Jealousy is a monster that I beat. There were a bunch of factors, but here's the best I can explain how I did it.

1) The realization that it didn't help anything. In fact jealousy always makes things worse. You come across as a possesive idiot, and only ending up driving her away, as jnallen pointed out.

2) The realization that jealousy was based on my own insecurities. Once I rid myself of those insecurities and became more confident, jealousy became more of a paper tiger than a real monster.

3) The realization that my romantic options were limitless. If I'm with a woman who loses interest in me for another guy, then I'll just go out and find another one. There's no shortage of women to date, so why should it bother me that one loses interest.

Now that I don't feel jealousy anymore, sometimes I almost feel guilty that I should be feeling it. It's hard to explain, but sometimes I worry that my total lack of jealousy could be taken as a low interest level.

 

[jnallen]

Originally posted by Reto
[
But, I tend to keep hooking up with Attn wh0res. It never lasts or works out.

[/B]

LOL

Me too

 

[mahon83050]

Why don't you just ask Jason from Temptation Island 3. haha...that dude has some major jealousy issues.

 

[netman]

Jealousy is a monster that I beat. There were a bunch of factors, but here's the best I can explain how I did it.

1) The realization that it didn't help anything. In fact jealousy always makes things worse. You come across as a possesive idiot, and only ending up driving her away, as jnallen pointed out.

2) The realization that jealousy was based on my own insecurities. Once I rid myself of those insecurities and became more confident, jealousy became more of a paper tiger than a real monster.

3) The realization that my romantic options were limitless. If I'm with a woman who loses interest in me for another guy, then I'll just go out and find another one. There's no shortage of women to date, so why should it bother me that one loses interest.

Now that I don't feel jealousy anymore, sometimes I almost feel guilty that I should be feeling it. It's hard to explain, but sometimes I worry that my total lack of jealousy could be taken as a low interest level.

This is good stuff. I think this is the advice I was looking for. I'm going to read this over and over and over until this sulks into my sub-conscious.

Girlcrazy, did you get rid of your jealousy overnight or did it take a while?