how did you overcome nervousness?

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i just had to ask this.

ive always been nervous and it keeps me from being funny and interesting w/girls unless i dont care if they like me or not..

being nervous sorts of make me "not myself"

like i said in my previous thread, im going to have a date on sat with this girl that is special to me. i've known her for a decade, and i just got contact from her again.

anyway, i wanna hit it off with her, and i need to know how i can act normal around her.. u know.. not being nervous.

if i could decrease my nervousness even just a lil' bit that would be of great help! thank you all & props to everyone who helped me in any way..

 

[Dirtheart]

Personally, I dramatically reduced my nervousness simply by slowing down. Talk, move, breathe and even blink slower and just tell yourself you are completely relaxed.

You're not trying to fight the nervousness, you are just reducing the physical side effects - the "fight or flight" instinct.

It works better than anything else I've tried.

 

[MindOverMatter]

The reason people are nervous around beautiful women is because their self-esteem is too low and they feel that they are with someone out of their league. As soon as they start thinking this, they become a nervous wreck and blow it.

Do you get nervous around ugly girls? No, you are completly relaxed around them, and you don't give a sh!t what happens. Result - you have an ugly girl that you can't get rid of.

This is the state of mind you want to have. Forget her looks, and whatever else it is that attracts you to her in the first place. 100 years ago, she wouldn't have been allowed to vote. A 1000 years ago, she would have been in some cave making babies for you. So why is she your superior now? Because you let her be, in your head.

The truth is, she's not some beautiful angel that floats around, and is above you. She sh!ts and urinates just like you and me. For all you know, she may have a smelly crotch and fart in her sleep.

You are a DJ, you know more about women then the rest of the AFC commoners that live in our society. You are doing this girl a favor by letting her into your world, and she should be the nervous one trying to impress you, not the other way around.

 

[2xp]

Originally posted by Dirtheart
.. move, breathe slower and just tell yourself you are completely relaxed...
.

this helps. really.
actually nervousness can also come from the pollution you live in (noises, people talking, cars, machines ... whatever) and most of the time we are not really aware of that. then it's like a relief when you go to a quiet park and notice how stressed you are.

so this nervousness adds to your fear (???) of women, and everything gets f*cked up.

i'm trying to force myself to breathe (that's the long, deep breath, a but like in finger's WMD) then i find myself more relaxed.

 

[NINJA PIMP]

I find that pissing my pants usually takes care of the problem.