how can i overcome fear of multiple-dating???

[djjoe]

hi guys,

i have come to realize that my biggest obstacle in becoming a dj is that i am somehow afraid of dating more than one girl at a time...

i know it`s one of the most important things to truly becoming a dj...

i mean we all have been brought up with the idea of having one partner that we truly love and so on (values, moral,....)

the whole concept seems somehow new to me...

how do you handle this???
doesn`t it make you feel guilty in a way to bang more than one girl at a time...

i`m really having problems with this, so give me your thoughts please....

all the best,

joe

 

[wjh]

well, "dating" puts it into a whole different context to begin with...

but, assuming you're on a traditional date, neither of you have any sort of obligation to the other to ONLY see each other... you don't even know each other yet...

you want to date multiple girls? do it. if she has a problem with it, dump her... she's not for you.

 

[djjoe]

yeah, its clear for me that going out or going for dinner (traditional dating) can be done simultaneously,

but let`s say "banging" three chicks without letting any of them know about the other puts it in different "moral" category...

this is what i`m having some problems with to overcome it...

 

[arutha]

Bluntly tell them.. Mention that you are seeing other girls, or bring up an interesting date or conversation from recently with them so they know that its nothing exclusive. Then they can't feel cheated because they know whats going on, and you won't feel guilty because they're fine with it.

Just don't ask them if its ok.. Let it come into the conversation and watch their reaction.

 

[quest]

I find the biggest problem being, I frequent the one club. The girls I date go there to find me sometimes, and often catch me kissing other girls. That damages my game. I can normally salvage it mind you.

 

[Johnnie5]

easy

when you meet a new one , you work on her and during the converstion you mention you are already banging another chick, that you arent interested in a relationship ,

if the attraction is there they wont care and you have no stress banging her

 

[djjoe]

A woman who would tolerate such a man is probably the type of woman not worth having a serious relationship with.

yeah, that`s whats making me problems...

i don`t want a woman who would tolerate this...

on the other hand, doing it has many advantages to a true dj...
you are never needy, and so on...

 

[Jariel]

I started to think the same thing. I recently got involved with 7 women at once and was still meeting others and picking up numbers. In my experience it was a big mistake, complicated and not at all satisfying.

I believe a lot of guys date multiple women and refuse to comit to a relationship because they are scared of failure, with the other women acting as a safety net. I admit, this was my thinking too.

I agree completely with Swampwiz. You can't have a fulfilling relationship with more than one woman, and to be honest, if you meet a quality woman, you shouldn't really want to see anyone else.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

But if you're still at the picking stage its fine to be seeing multiple women, when there is no commitment involved.

If after 4 or 5 dates you keep seeing her and things escalate and you become bf/gf, thats a whole other story entirley.