How can I fix this?

[Zander]

So one of my chick friends decided to set me up with another girl. We've been flirting for about two months, and it seemed like we might actually end up in a relationship eventually. We have a lot of mutual friends and so we hung out a lot and texted pretty regularly. I know people on here have said it's bad to text a lot, but oh well.

Anyways, so on new year's we made out and all our friends saw. People were talking about it a bunch and hyping it up. They sort of expected I would ask her out, but I just didn't. I wanted to since I knew she'd say yes, but I also wanted to wait a while.

So I finally got up the courage that I thought I wouldn't need anyways (because I was sure she'd say yes) and asked her out a few days ago (so that was a little less than two weeks after we made out). She said, "No, not yet." What does that even mean? I was so sure she'd want to, but now I don't know. Is there anything I can do, like give her more time like she said or try to talk to her more? Also, she's been replying to texts with barely anything, saying things like, "lol" and "yeah ha" and "i know." So it's hard to keep a conversation going for long.

 

[colombiandude]

lol. stop texting then. let her initiate conversation. which she will do if shes interested. if you dont go to school with her. just let her talk to you. and if she brings up why dont you talk to me anymore as much or some bs like that. come up with a legit excuse that isnt bull.

 

[Zander]

She does go to school with me... and I can't really think of a good excuse for why I can't text someone since it only takes a few seconds and it's obvious I still have my phone since we have friends in common and I text them too. Any other advice?

 

[Igetit!]

So one of my chick friends decided to set me up with another girl. We've been flirting for about two months,

Here's where you went wrong. There's no way in the world you should have waited 2 months before asking her out.

I HIGHLY doubt this can be repaired. It looks like you're in the friendzone.


Why did you wait so long to ask her out if you were so sure she'd say yes to you? Was a part of you afraid to ask because you wasn't sure what her answer would be?

So I finally got up the courage that I thought I wouldn't need anyways (because I was sure she'd say yes) and asked her out a few days ago (so that was a little less than two weeks after we made out). She said, "No, not yet." What does that even mean?

Oh,so you "got you the courage" to ask her out. So you were afraid after all.

I think that's what got you. You spent two months around her being nervous and scared,and she must have picked up on that,and that's what turned her off. I bet when you asked her out,she answered you in a way to where she was trying to avoid hurting you,trying to let you down easy.



Your fear got you. She must have known something was up if you spent all that time with her WITHOUT asking her out. And by the time you "worked up the courage",EMOTIONALLY she had already gotten used to you "hangingout" with her instead of dating her.


You screwed up,my friend...you screwed up.


Believe it or not,you'd been better of asking her out and her saying flat out "NO" than this "inbetween" answer.

I was so sure she'd want to, but now I don't know.

You were right here. In the beginning,she most likely would have said yes,but you stalled it out.


I've said this a thousand times..."There's no "pause button" on attraction".


You can't put a girl "on hold" until the time is right,or is more convinent for you. Her EMOTIONS won't allow it.




You figured you'd just wait and wait and wait for a while before making your move,then you'd ask her out. Can't do that man.



While you're doing all that waiting,HER EMOTIONS are making her get used to you they way you were during all that time,and the way you were was just a guy who was "around her",not a guy who showing interest in dating her.



Although you two made out,that doesn't really mean anything.

There was some attraction there,but you failed to do anything with it.

A fire needs fuel to continue burning. If you do nothing,it goes out. You had attraction going with her,but waiting 2 months made it die down.



It may be possible to revive this,but whatever you've been doing and saying will have to change. This "relationship" between you two would have to be jump started,and I mean one heck of a jolt.


And ever after all that it may not work.

Is there anything I can do, like give her more time like she said or try to talk to her more?

No,No,NO!


Give her more time? Dude,THAT'S WHAT CAUSED THIS MESS in the first place.


She doesn't need more time. She needs YOU to be a MAN and show your interest. And you can't play and beat around the bush with her either,you need to come strong and come DIRECT.



That "more time" line from her is just a way to buy time,to keep you hooked.


To be honest,I don't think she has any plans at all of seeing you at all.
Just just doesn't want to close the completely.

Also, she's been replying to texts with barely anything, saying things like, "lol" and "yeah ha" and "i know." So it's hard to keep a conversation going for long.

Yeah,because her interest is low,very low. Like I said,it needs to be jump started,and WHATEVER YOU'VE BEEN DOING AND SAYING TO HER needs to go out the window.


Honestly,it might be better just to forget about her because the process to revive this may be too much for you to do.

 

[Rez]

Zander, your chances at nailing this girl are slim to none. Leave her be and get out of it with your dignity still intact.

The fact that you waited over 2 months to ask her out, flirted here and there, made out on New Years then waited 2 extra weeks to ask her out........yeah, no bueno.

You're in high school and I'm sure there's plenty of tail walking around. Find someone new and if she ever comes back around (which I doubt) then you'll know that you didn't wait like a punk this entire time for her attention.