How Can Girls Change Feelings So Abruptly?

[Immortality]

For any of you more experienced DJ's how is it possible that females change their feelings so quickly? After my breakup I read that they start a slow process of dissociating their feelings prior to initiating the breakup. What I don't understand is how most of us HAVE to go through NC due to the emotional trauma while they seem to recover instantaneously. The way I see it is I've had close friends in the past and we have grown apart. If I was to see them again I feel as tho I would easily be able to re-engage into their lives. With girls it seems as tho once they're done they're DONE. As if they have mentally discarded you FOR LIFE! I don't know if any of you have ever had them try to re connect into your lives years later or if that's just their way of seeking approval. I just don't get how you can claim you 'love' someone and then feel nothing even years down the road? For me going NC is a way to cope, but if I seen that person a year from now I'm assuming those feelings would still be there? It just baffles me especially since I've been told by my ex "I don't feel the same, I feel I've completely changed"

 

[narcissist]

Dude. Overall generalizations dont hold up well.

Some girls get over guys quickly and some dont.

Some girls can lose feelings fast for a guy and some cant.

It depends on the girl. This forum tends to generalize every girl in the world as the exact same thing. Well just as there are betas and alphas and a whole of slew of different types of guys out there, there are a whole bunch of different types of bishes out there as well with different personalities.

Some of those personalities are conducive to getting over someone quick and forever, whereas others are not.

My ex is still not over me. But i dropped her and got over her pretty quickly.

I just read your posts in the no contact thread immortality. Your just hurting right now, but one thing you mustn't do is project your exs personality unto all other women. It will fvck up your game and you'll grow very bitter.

Good luck my dude. Stay strong.

And remember - just because your ex did it doesn't mean ALL girls do it.

Girls dont have 1 absolute personality type. They vary quite a bit.

 

[In2theGame]

Many times what happens is she is already planning her exit before you know anything is going on. Since they are emotional and go on "feelings", They could start "talking" to a guy behind your back and although sometimes it just begins as talking... Things begin to escalate and she starts developing feelings for that guy. The fvcked up part is while she is beginning to feel something for a new guy, She will still put up the good girlfriend act and many times acting normal because if she begins fighting and arguing, She could give off a red flag that something is "off" about her behavior. Sometimes girls use the fight/arguing to provoke a break up that they want so they can go pursue someone else and so they dont look like the bad person initiating the breakup but usually its the first thing.

Once she's convinced that the other guy wants her and to be with her (or so she "feels" that way) Then she will begin to pull away fast while your feeling the heartache and wondering "What happened!". At that point she starts throwing a boat load of excuses as to why you and her cant work out, Why she doesnt love you anymore, why she needs a break...etc and while all this is going on, Us men do what we all have been guilty of doing... Chasing after her and trying to save the relationship before she is gone completely. She may seem extremely cold but what's happening is she will try to push you away so that you can be completely out of the picture if there is in fact a new guy. Sometimes though, she may still initiate contact with you while she has basically begun a new relationship OR is fvcking him already, Kind of like a false hope because at this point, she's with someone else and your hurting. In a nutshell, they basically cheat on you while you have no idea whats going on. Is this always the case? No. However, They all to some extent, do and say the SAME things.

Another thing, Since women are emotional and go by feelings, is the potentially horrible influence her friends are. Meaning, They will talk your girl into leaving the relationship by justifying Why she can do better and how she needs to "live life" and "be free" to have "fun" In other words....."You can do so much better than Mike, Your beautiful and young. You should be out having fun "meeting" new guys and enjoying "fvcking" i mean Enjoying life". While she may even know that some of her friends are little cvm dumpsters, All it takes is for the right things to be said at the right time and your girlfriend/wife will agree. Then venture off to break up with you and give you the "I need space" "I need to find myself" "I need time to think" "I need to take a break" "I need to focus on other things in my life". Its ALL bullsh!t because any woman who really loves her man will NOT! let him go. Women are amazing in how they rationalize anything even if its their fault,... They are emotional beings and therefore built to be lead by Men. Today, if a Man forbids his GF to do something, she may act out because feminism teaches that women are "empowered" which then leads to her going from c0ck to c0ck to c0ck.

All my ex GF's have contacted me and still do today except one, My recent ex i was with for 5 years and planning to Marry at the time. I loved her 100% but i will never forget how dirty she did me at the end. She knows how fvcked up the things she did that left me with anxiety and depression although im doing better now but i have received some phone call and hang ups that make me think it was her. When we had that big hurricane a while back, One night I got a blocked number call and when i said hello they stood on the phone for about 3 seconds before hanging up. I guess she wanted to know if i was ok without actually talking and seeing a phone number. she lied, a lot! about so many things when she seemed like the sweetest girl i had ever met... She left me to get engaged to another guy 2 months after the break up. I will probably never hear from her again because she knows that even 3 and half years after the breakup, I still carry that rage from what she did and will lash out.

All that mentioned above is from my experience and has happened to me bad twice, It happened just like that with my best friend also and I'd say 90% of my friends (which is a lot) It has happened to them too, amazingly in similar fashion with their GF's, Wives saying and doing almost the exact same things.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Men are like gaming consoles for women.

Until the next one comes out you are hot stuff, #1, high value.

When that new shiny next version with better graphics comes out, all interest is lost. You are removed with only the care required not to be broken and lower your resale value. Thrown in a box and never thought of again.

 

[Henuff]

Many times what happens is she is already planning her exit before you know anything is going on. Since they are emotional and go on "feelings", They could start "talking" to a guy behind your back and although sometimes it just begins as talking... Things begin to escalate and she starts developing feelings for that guy. The fvcked up part is while she is beginning to feel something for a new guy, She will still put up the good girlfriend act and many times acting normal because if she begins fighting and arguing, She could give off a red flag that something is "off" about her behavior. Sometimes girls use the fight/arguing to provoke a break up that they want so they can go pursue someone else and so they dont look like the bad person initiating the breakup but usually its the first thing.

Once she's convinced that the other guy wants her and to be with her (or so she "feels" that way) Then she will begin to pull away fast while your feeling the heartache and wondering "What happened!". At that point she starts throwing a boat load of excuses as to why you and her cant work out, Why she doesnt love you anymore, why she needs a break...etc and while all this is going on, Us men do what we all have been guilty of doing... Chasing after her and trying to save the relationship before she is gone completely. She may seem extremely cold but what's happening is she will try to push you away so that you can be completely out of the picture if there is in fact a new guy. Sometimes though, she may still initiate contact with you while she has basically begun a new relationship OR is fvcking him already, Kind of like a false hope because at this point, she's with someone else and your hurting. In a nutshell, they basically cheat on you while you have no idea whats going on. Is this always the case? No. However, They all to some extent, do and say the SAME things.

Another thing, Since women are emotional and go by feelings, is the potentially horrible influence her friends are. Meaning, They will talk your girl into leaving the relationship by justifying Why she can do better and how she needs to "live life" and "be free" to have "fun" In other words....."You can do so much better than Mike, Your beautiful and young. You should be out having fun "meeting" new guys and enjoying "fvcking" i mean Enjoying life". While she may even know that some of her friends are little cvm dumpsters, All it takes is for the right things to be said at the right time and your girlfriend/wife will agree. Then venture off to break up with you and give you the "I need space" "I need to find myself" "I need time to think" "I need to take a break" "I need to focus on other things in my life". Its ALL bullsh!t because any woman who really loves her man will NOT! let him go. Women are amazing in how they rationalize anything even if its their fault,... They are emotional beings and therefore built to be lead by Men. Today, if a Man forbids his GF to do something, she may act out because feminism teaches that women are "empowered" which then leads to her going from c0ck to c0ck to c0ck.

Man this is what happened to me and its spot on....
Ugh where was this forum before all this **** happened.

 

[GotED?]

I don't really think there's that much difference between men & women in regard to this.

If you are absolutely happy with a HB8 or 9 GF right this moment who is submissive and worships you with a fulfilling life. Suddenly you run into an EX-GF from a year ago - are you going to give a sh!t??

Now, on the opposite continuum - if you have NO GF right this moment and is miserable, then you run into your EX-GF of over a year ago (who by the way has a fantastic hot BF she's perfectly into). Is your reaction going to be different from the first scenario - sure!!

So it is all about your state of mental being and your perception of 'lacking' - that makes you feel like how is it possible your EX-GF has no more feeling for you??

On the other hand, I had been with ex-GF's (usually short term) that I've looked back and regretted that I dated such a FUGLY woman (because I learned game since then and attract much better looking women now). I've never thought twice about those ex-GF now.

Be well - look FORWARD, not BACKWARDS.

Exodus

 

[bukowski_merit]

For any of you more experienced DJ's how is it possible that females change their feelings so quickly? After my breakup I read that they start a slow process of dissociating their feelings prior to initiating the breakup.

In most cases: A woman breaks up with a man long before she breaks up with him. Often she's already sleeping with at least 1 other guy (or very close to it).

A lot of blame gets put on women here, and a lot of it is correct. But, in most cases (not all) where a woman is breaking up with a man and branch swinging; it's because he's been weak/beta in the relationship. So... She's not really losing a whole lot.

What I don't understand is how most of us HAVE to go through NC due to the emotional trauma while they seem to recover instantaneously.

This is not always the case. I know women who are hung up on the same man for YEARS. In most cases - it's a guy who was either an alpha, or a player, or an @sshole. I've never heard of a woman hung up over a nice guy though.

The way I see it is I've had close friends in the past and we have grown apart. If I was to see them again I feel as tho I would easily be able to re-engage into their lives.

These are the often dreams of a man when he has oneitis. The "all i need is to re-engage them and they'll be back to the way we used to be."

It is in fact only true when you're dealing with actual friends.

With girls it seems as tho once they're done they're DONE.

For the most part - this is correct.

As if they have mentally discarded you FOR LIFE! I don't know if any of you have ever had them try to re connect into your lives years later or if that's just their way of seeking approval.

I've had ex's re-engage me, who i dated in my uneducated/blue pill years. Most of the time it's years later, and they can see the change, and they themselves have gained 100 lbs.

I just don't get how you can claim you 'love' someone and then feel nothing even years down the road?

Because love is nothing more than a word. Feelings are the real dictator of a woman's flow.

Once you no longer give her that feeling of wanting to feel you on top of her - "i love you" is a worthless routine.

For me going NC is a way to cope, but if I seen that person a year from now I'm assuming those feelings would still be there? It just baffles me especially since I've been told by my ex "I don't feel the same, I feel I've completely changed"

The less you pay attention to what women say - the better.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Rarely is it ever a case where a woman went from being totally in love with a guy to wanting to dump him. What usually happens is:

1. The girl may be unhappy with certain parts of the relationship. She tries to talk to the guy about it, but he either brushes her off, tells her she's being silly, or turns things around and puts the blame on HER.

2. The girl then starts feeling like maybe she MIGHT want to leave... but in order to make a definitive decision she has to stay in the relationship longer to make sure it's what she wants to do. Just like a girl will normally take a while to finally want a guy to be her boyfriend, it can take even LONGER for her to finally dump the guy. So many factors go into their decision: is she just be silly? Is it just a phase of a bad feeling she's having about the guy that may eventually pass? Are the things he's doing REALLY that annoying or something she can learn to live with? If she dumps him will she be okay with potentially being alone? How long has she been in the relationship, and is it worth throwing away over whatever she's feeling? She has to sort all these things out (and more) before she finally calls it quits, which can take weeks to months (or years) for her to figure out.

3. Finally, after however long, the girl makes the decision to leave - and when she does, she's not trying to have a discussion about it. Why? As far as she's concerned, those discussions were happening with no desired results or give and take on your end. And, unfortunately, us guys don't always catch wind of how unhappy our girl is until she hits us with the break-up speech.

In short: this is why it's good to not have such an ego and really pay attention to your woman when she's saying stuff to you. If she's mentioning anything that might be an issue, even if it seems like she's mentioning it in a way where it's no big deal... TRUST me, it's a bigger deal than you expect.

 

[lastking]

Thanks for this!! It relates to my situation 100%

Many times what happens is she is already planning her exit before you know anything is going on. Since they are emotional and go on "feelings", They could start "talking" to a guy behind your back and although sometimes it just begins as talking... Things begin to escalate and she starts developing feelings for that guy. The fvcked up part is while she is beginning to feel something for a new guy, She will still put up the good girlfriend act and many times acting normal because if she begins fighting and arguing, She could give off a red flag that something is "off" about her behavior. Sometimes girls use the fight/arguing to provoke a break up that they want so they can go pursue someone else and so they dont look like the bad person initiating the breakup but usually its the first thing.

Once she's convinced that the other guy wants her and to be with her (or so she "feels" that way) Then she will begin to pull away fast while your feeling the heartache and wondering "What happened!". At that point she starts throwing a boat load of excuses as to why you and her cant work out, Why she doesnt love you anymore, why she needs a break...etc and while all this is going on, Us men do what we all have been guilty of doing... Chasing after her and trying to save the relationship before she is gone completely. She may seem extremely cold but what's happening is she will try to push you away so that you can be completely out of the picture if there is in fact a new guy. Sometimes though, she may still initiate contact with you while she has basically begun a new relationship OR is fvcking him already, Kind of like a false hope because at this point, she's with someone else and your hurting. In a nutshell, they basically cheat on you while you have no idea whats going on. Is this always the case? No. However, They all to some extent, do and say the SAME things.

Another thing, Since women are emotional and go by feelings, is the potentially horrible influence her friends are. Meaning, They will talk your girl into leaving the relationship by justifying Why she can do better and how she needs to "live life" and "be free" to have "fun" In other words....."You can do so much better than Mike, Your beautiful and young. You should be out having fun "meeting" new guys and enjoying "fvcking" i mean Enjoying life". While she may even know that some of her friends are little cvm dumpsters, All it takes is for the right things to be said at the right time and your girlfriend/wife will agree. Then venture off to break up with you and give you the "I need space" "I need to find myself" "I need time to think" "I need to take a break" "I need to focus on other things in my life". Its ALL bullsh!t because any woman who really loves her man will NOT! let him go. Women are amazing in how they rationalize anything even if its their fault,... They are emotional beings and therefore built to be lead by Men. Today, if a Man forbids his GF to do something, she may act out because feminism teaches that women are "empowered" which then leads to her going from c0ck to c0ck to c0ck.

All my ex GF's have contacted me and still do today except one, My recent ex i was with for 5 years and planning to Marry at the time. I loved her 100% but i will never forget how dirty she did me at the end. She knows how fvcked up the things she did that left me with anxiety and depression although im doing better now but i have received some phone call and hang ups that make me think it was her. When we had that big hurricane a while back, One night I got a blocked number call and when i said hello they stood on the phone for about 3 seconds before hanging up. I guess she wanted to know if i was ok without actually talking and seeing a phone number. she lied, a lot! about so many things when she seemed like the sweetest girl i had ever met... She left me to get engaged to another guy 2 months after the break up. I will probably never hear from her again because she knows that even 3 and half years after the breakup, I still carry that rage from what she did and will lash out.

All that mentioned above is from my experience and has happened to me bad twice, It happened just like that with my best friend also and I'd say 90% of my friends (which is a lot) It has happened to them too, amazingly in similar fashion with their GF's, Wives saying and doing almost the exact same things.

Thanks for this!! It relates to my situation 100%

 

[apprenticedj]

I think Harry said it best, eventhough you might not notice, it's already happening long before she sits you down for the death blow.

 

[Starfvcks 64]

Men are like gaming consoles for women.

Until the next one comes out you are hot stuff, #1, high value.

When that new shiny next version with better graphics comes out, all interest is lost. You are removed with only the care required not to be broken and lower your resale value. Thrown in a box and never thought of again.

But sometimes the new guy is like PS4: Seems cool at first, but doesn't have any game.

You need to have the PS4 to be cool, but when you're actually looking for some fun you'll go back to the PS3.

 

[Albatross953]

Why worry about it? Its taking your focus off where it should be....on YOU.

 

[El Payaso]

Rarely is it ever a case where a woman went from being totally in love with a guy to wanting to dump him. What usually happens is:

1. The girl may be unhappy with certain parts of the relationship. She tries to talk to the guy about it, but he either brushes her off, tells her she's being silly, or turns things around and puts the blame on HER.

2. The girl then starts feeling like maybe she MIGHT want to leave... but in order to make a definitive decision she has to stay in the relationship longer to make sure it's what she wants to do. Just like a girl will normally take a while to finally want a guy to be her boyfriend, it can take even LONGER for her to finally dump the guy. So many factors go into their decision: is she just be silly? Is it just a phase of a bad feeling she's having about the guy that may eventually pass? Are the things he's doing REALLY that annoying or something she can learn to live with? If she dumps him will she be okay with potentially being alone? How long has she been in the relationship, and is it worth throwing away over whatever she's feeling? She has to sort all these things out (and more) before she finally calls it quits, which can take weeks to months (or years) for her to figure out.

3. Finally, after however long, the girl makes the decision to leave - and when she does, she's not trying to have a discussion about it. Why? As far as she's concerned, those discussions were happening with no desired results or give and take on your end. And, unfortunately, us guys don't always catch wind of how unhappy our girl is until she hits us with the break-up speech.

In short: this is why it's good to not have such an ego and really pay attention to your woman when she's saying stuff to you. If she's mentioning anything that might be an issue, even if it seems like she's mentioning it in a way where it's no big deal... TRUST me, it's a bigger deal than you expect.

This is so spot on. Always have your own opinions and be a man but at the same time listen to your woman. Don't let your ego get in the way and brush aside any issue she brings up or put the blame on her. It's when she's finally gone that you'll realize if you only weren't so full of yourself or too much of a d!ck, you would still have her.

 

[VladPatton]

That's what them biznitches do when they're not happy, then justify it to high heaven. In2theGame's advice is dead-on truth.

 

[Immortality]

I think Harry said it best, eventhough you might not notice, it's already happening long before she sits you down for the death blow.

I was told it was over trust issues and you guys are all right. She kept bringing up how I didn't trust her I just never knew it was such a big deal until..........BAM i caught the wreck. Funny thing is she told her mom and friends who were so enthralled to reassure her it was the right decision. She actually called her mom 15 mins before the breakup to ask for her advice. I didn't know it at the time but later found out...........

 

[tripod23]

i very recently had an ex from 21 years ago reconnect with me , basically she was shocked at how well i had done with my life since she last saw me 21 years ago.........i have set some things straight with her , and her with me for some of the stuff that went on all them years ago, on the whole she has not left me alone for 3 months trying to get me to go visit her , or trying to see if i would accept her coming to see me , and told me she would fvck me again.........crazy how women think really.......i wasnt a very nice person to this girl , and looking back dont blame her for getting away from me at that time........this is life and we have to get on with it and stay strong........improve your life as much as possible ......its the only way ....

 

[zekko]

I've seen plenty of women break down and cry about dumping their boyfriend, or divorcing their husband. That doesn't mean they regret doing it necessarily, just that they feel pain over it. But if they are dumping you to be with another guy, they want the new guy more than they feel bad about dumping you.

Pretty much, girls will have a good cry or two and get over it. Whereas guys will sometimes let those wounds fester for a long time. And like PairPlus says, girls have options. There will always be some dude ready to hit on her and build her ego back up.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Read Rollo's "War Brides" blog.
Basically, women over the centuries have been conditioned to move on quickly from failed relationships.
Over the millennia, these relationships failed a lot through men being killed in wars, hunting exploring etc.
Then new men would enter the picture either through conquest or arranged marriage and the women would have to adapt very quickly to new situations.
Holds some weight I reckon.