You don't need 6 figures.
Here's the thing about autistic people, we oftentimes prefer things to people. Having a large savings account
gives me the capacity to purchase anything I want (within reason) which has piqued my interest. This is tempered by
me wishing to keep hold of my money, literally the only thing stopping me from buying something cool every day.
I try and treat myself periodically instead and the rest of the time I live a frugal life and smash as much of my salary
into my savings. I have no mortgage or rent, my house is paid for so it builds up pretty quickly. I bought myself a car
a month or two ago, the first time I've owned a car for some 6 years or more so it was kind of a big deal. Now I spend
my time off of work cleaning and waxing it. I treasure the things I own, I'm kind of like Gollum only I still have my
'precious' things. All the males in my immediate family are like this, my father and nephew are both autistic. My fathers
special interest is computers, now he's retired he spends literally all day every day downloading movies and TV series
from the internet. Literally 1000's upon 1000's. He'll never even watch them all, but it's like he's obsessed. He barely
says a word to my mother and gets worked up if he has to do anything outside his special interest. My nephew is the
same and is prone to huge tantrums if he he has to do something he's not interested in. In comparison to them I'm
by and large more high functioning but still afflicted, for me the issues are social ones. I find other people so confusing
especially females, I'm lousy at communicating in person but I mask well so for short periods of time I can appear 'normal'.
But sooner or later the cracks show in my façade and people run a mile. It's happened to me all my life. As a result, I keep a
very solitary life, no friends, no pets (although I'd love to have a dog my work hours prevent that) and no romantic interests.
I communicate a lot online because it suits my communication style and social timidity. It really hurts being this way and
sometimes I consider a final solution. How I wish I could be like others but this is a developmental issue, I'm not wired like
you and no amount of CBT will fix that. I just have to mask the real me and carry on with this monkey on my back but it's
gotten so bad now that the only time I can manage to keep that mask on is at work, then I need solitary time to recharge
my batteries as '
being normal' in person is so tiring for me. I hide away from the world in my house on my time off from
work and make a point of only mixing with others when it's either absolutely necessary for example going to the supermarket
or on the very rare occasions I feel like going out to a bar, even then I stand in a corner with a drink and silently watch and
study other people. It's almost like going to the zoo, only I tend to observe how others interact with one another and
subconsciously I soak this up and then apply this behaviour to my masking to appear more authentic in company.
