Holy moly.. Mildly obsessed after first date with a girl.

[Korrupt]

I've honestly never had so much damn fun on a date - especially a first date. It was like hanging out with your best friend AND your girlfriend at the same time. She made me laugh just as much or more than I made her laugh and I can legitimately say that we connected, had genuine chemistry, and hit it off big time.

-We met at a bar on Thursday night around 8:30
-talked for about an hour at the bar
-went for a little walk
-sat down by the water in the same area and talked a bit more

I walked her to her car and she ended up inviting me back to her place (which she had just moved into and was only a couple miles away). Yeah, first date and she invited me back to her place. I was as surprised as you. We get back there and pop in Aliens (yes, she likes scary movies - +100 points). I sit on the couch and instead of sitting a foot away from me she sits right next to me with my arm around her. We apparently have the same ridiculous sense of humor so we're adding our own inappropriate, yet humorous, commentary to the movie. She's continuously looking at my lips and I eventually kiss her. Her response: "I was wondering when you were going to work that in.." By the time the movie finishes it's 2:30 in the morning. Before I leave we make-out, she says "if you keep this up, you're not going to want to leave.." I give her one more kiss then rip myself away, say goodbye, make a joke about hoping I don't get stabbed in the hard streets of *her neighborhood*, and leave.

Also, I purposely didn't try to escalate and push towards sex while at her place.

30 minutes later (at like 3 in the morning) she texts me:

HER: Hope you didn't get stabbed! I had a great time

ME: Haha I managed to make it out of the streets of *place* safe and sound! And so did I ..We should definitely hang out again soon.

HER: Hahaha, glad you made it out alive.. The mean streets of *place* lol. And yes we should ..Somewhere warm!

ME: Agreed! I'll talk to you soon, *name*. G'night

I think she meant "" and not "" but I'm going word-for-word here lmao.

Only thing is she paid for our drinks, which kinda took me by surprise. I got the check from the waiter and she immediately asked "split it?" The check was only 10.75, but I always go dutch on first dates (especially ones from dating sites) so I said "yeah." I take out five (enough for my one beer as well as the tip, so she'd only have to pay for her one drink - no more). I'm fuzzy on this part but I think she took out her credit card, then I took out $10 (in place of the $5) and told her to just leave a tip and I'd get the rest, but she said she didn't have cash and gave the waiter her card. I tried to give her $5 for my drink/the tip, but she declined and said "don't worry about it" or something. To be honest, if I could go back in time I would gladly shell out the full $13-$15 if it would help solidify a second date since the first was pretty amazing in all.

 

[Spinning Spinning]

OMG WTF is it with you guys and paying for a simple meal for a woman? If I'm taking a woman out I don't think about the money at all, it's not like all women expect a free meal. You can always tell whether you pay or not anyway.

Everything else seems sweet bro, I don't understand why you didn't give it to her though she clearly wanted it and hinted towards it. Don't disappoint her again I say.

 

[Johnnyventana]

Yeah, Agree with Spins. I know the "rule" here is not to pay, buy I think that's ghey. Especially for a measly 11 bucks. I'm not slam'n you OP, glad you like the chick, I'm commenting on the money thing here. In cases like this, the guy just looks cheap as shyte or 17 years old, going dutch.

I think the rule is more for AWs and Gold Diggers.

And in the case above, she thought you would pay, you didn't, so she paid in full with her Credit Card. It was less of an offer to pay and more of a WTF.

 

[SharinganUser]

And in the case above, she thought you would pay, you didn't, so she paid in full with her Credit Card. It was less of an offer to pay and more of a WTF.

Yes but since he made out with her later that night and left her wanting more, it seems the money thing was more of a speed bump than a road block.

 

[Johnnyventana]

For sure SharniganUser. I'm speaking more generally. Being cheap is a turn off. A lot of guys here are not cheap, but are splitting 5 dollar tabs cause they think/read it's game. That of course, looks super cheap! So there's no confusion, I don't think you should put these beeatches through school and pay for everything. I'm talking about an inexpensive first date tab.

 

[Korrupt]

Like I said, I would gladly go back in time and pay if I could seeing how awesome the date turned out to be.

It's been more of a defensive thing for a while now because I've been on A LOT of first dates and 80% of them go no-where. I used to pay, and I can safely say that the $10-$20 dollar tabs add up like crazy (especially for a college student with no real, steady income). It gets to be truly demoralizing just having your dates go no-where, but when you're also spending a good amount of money AND getting rejected it's like insult on top of injury. I'm sure some of you know what I mean.. I usually go dutch on first dates, then pay for the following dates once we both know that the other person is worth it.

 

[SharinganUser]

For sure SharniganUser. I'm speaking more generally. Being cheap is a turn off. A lot of guys here are not cheap, but are splitting 5 dollar tabs cause they think/read it's game. That of course, looks super cheap! So there's no confusion, I don't think you should put these beeatches through school and pay for everything. I'm talking about an inexpensive first date tab.

Haha yeah for sure. I was at a poker game on Thursday and there was a mix up about the payout. The guy in 2nd was so adamant about keeping his winnings he wouldn't give the girl that came in 3rd, the extra ten RMB(about $2) she thought she won. I never saw anyone get so riled up over a measly $2 before.

Things need to be kept in perspective.

 

[konmai]

don't worry about it. just move on and pay for the next one.

 

[Innovater]

Not bad, just make sure you don't get oneitis or start having long texting convos with her. I can see how it can be easy to fall into that trap at this stage.

 

[SoldMySoul]

I am strong proponent of NOT DOING EXPENSIVE DATES in the beginning! With that said, if we meet for coffee....I am going to cover that! Going dutch on a coffee date is bad business!!! WOW!!!

Met a girl at waffle house....place where I was had not much else and was only thing open... the bill was a little over $10. I paid for that.

If you cannot cover a small bill, then yes, you will look like a cheap bastard!!!!!!! By the same token, if you pay too much on the first date, you look like bad as well!

 

[JCballin88]

Congrats on your success there man.

As for the "paying for X and Y" argument, one way I like to propose splitting the expenditures on a date is by splitting the date into two activities.

For example, one time I took a girl mini-golfing. I paid for the mini-golf, but told her she has to treat me to ice cream after. Yes the mini-golf was a little more expensive, but as the guy in the situation I didn't mind paying for that, knowing she was still going to treat me to something after.

I like doing stuff like that because then it makes both people feel like they contributed to the date. Also, doing more than one activity/seeing multiple venues with her on the same outing can lead to a better memory and feeling of closeness.

 

[Korrupt]

Sigh sigh sigh and f*cking sigh..

Sent her a text about doing something Tuesday night, her response is:

"If you would have texted me, no joke like 10 minutes ago I could have but I just made plans."

I then texted her back:

"Hmm.. Well at the moment I'm free wed and thurs night.."

No response for 40 mins.

Get on PoF - says she's online now.

 

[Kerpal]

I can't tell you how many times that's happened to me. No matter how well it seemed to have gone you can't get your hopes up or you're likely to be disappointed.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

You cat's love POF real talk. I mess with it but all the girls that I have pulled are average. The dimes be tripping.

But on another note playa. You are slippin on one of the main rules of the game and that is never be caught without having multiple girls on the team. Never. If she isn't co-operating then you set something up with the shooting guard.

Don't worry about this girl too hard and show her that your a busy person. Don't always text back, don't always answer the phone. Don't talk to her everyday. Be a mystery and show her you got sh!t going on in your life.

 

[Korrupt]

You cat's love POF real talk. I mess with it but all the girls that I have pulled are average. The dimes be tripping.

But on another note playa. You are slippin on one of the main rules of the game and that is never be caught without having multiple girls on the team. Never. If she isn't co-operating then you set something up with the shooting guard.

Don't worry about this girl too hard and show her that your a busy person. Don't always text back, don't always answer the phone. Don't talk to her everyday. Be a mystery and show her you got sh!t going on in your life.

That's the thing.. I AM talking to multiple girls. I've been dating one (who I'm about to break it off with because there's been no sex in 5 dates and she acts cold), then I'm supposed to have a date tomorrow night, hang out with another chick Tuesday, and have a couple others who I've yet to set anything up with. Of course, every one of them could flake, but the point is I AM talking to several different girl. The thing is (and this is going to sound AFC as hell), THIS girl was like the one. No joke. Like I said, it was like hanging out with your best friend and your girlfriend at the same time.

Sh!t, SHE even texted ME after the date saying that she had a great time and that we should hang out again soon! Why the silent treatment now? (to be honest, her texting habits before we went out were pretty abysmal, but still..)

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Sigh sigh sigh and f*cking sigh..

Sent her a text about doing something Tuesday night, her response is:

"If you would have texted me, no joke like 10 minutes ago I could have but I just made plans."

I then texted her back:

"Hmm.. Well at the moment I'm free wed and thurs night.."

No response for 40 mins.

Get on PoF - says she's online now.

You could've seen this coming from a mile away dude.

Your not a challenge at all!

You projected waaaaaaaaaay too much interest too soon and your already going beta on her by being so available.

I think too many guys read things on this board, but don't truly understand how to implement them within a context that fits, so instead they put on this act that eventually the girl will see right through.

Anyways, how should proceed?

Ignore her for a bit and see if she comes back to you.

And keep meeting new girls.

No offense but I knew this was going to happen just from reading the tone of your original post.








PIMP

 

[MisterD]

You guys get too caught up in afc vs "alpha" and fail to recognize we're all human at the end of the day

you could bang 1000 chicks and not have any feelings whatsoever towards any of them and then one day a girl walks into your life that changes the game

when you connect with someone on a deep, personal level, to the point where you don't have to put on a facade or run any game and you're just your natural self and it works for you, it's hard to write off the girl as just another chick

it happens to everybody at one point or another

anyways, sounded like a great date. just guard yourself. easier said than done; but don't get dramatic. forget about how she acts via text, it's about how she acts in person

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Don't worry about this girl too hard and show her that your a busy person. Don't always text back, don't always answer the phone. Don't talk to her everyday. Be a mystery and show her you got sh!t going on in your life.

Then that's your problem. As soon as she said she couldn't make it you should have told her that she has got to make it up to you. Not immediately say Wed and Thurs. It seems like your over-eager. Don't treat her like top girl unless she proves that she is worthy of it.

 

[Korrupt]

Then that's your problem. As soon as she said she couldn't make it you should have told her that she has got to make it up to you. Not immediately say Wed and Thurs. It seems like your over-eager. Don't treat her like top girl unless she proves that she is worthy of it.

I can see how my text would translate to being over eager, but that's my usual game..

Me: Let's go out on Tuesday
Girl: I work on Tuesday
*I propose another day*
Me: Hmm.. Well I can do Wednesday
Girl: I have plans Wednesday
*I give up for the time being*
Me: Well maybe this weekend/well maybe next week...

Or she says she's free and we set something up.

With this girl, if she would have said "I can't do wed or thurs" I would have just told her "well I'm not sure what my plans are for the weekend yet, so lemme get back to you." Can't do much if she doesn't respond at all though (which she hasn't).

anyways, sounded like a great date. just guard yourself. easier said than done; but don't get dramatic. forget about how she acts via text, it's about how she acts in person

And see, THIS is what confuses me more than ANYTHING else when it comes to dating. It seems like whenever I have an awesome, out of this world great date, I don't get a second, but when I have an average "meh" date, it 60-80% of the time goes to a second. What in the f*ck happened in those two days that made the girl go from inviting me back to her place, making out with me, and texting me at 3am after I had left just to say she had a great time, to her ignoring me?!?!?!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

You guys get too caught up in afc vs "alpha" and fail to recognize we're all human at the end of the day

Actually its not about being caught up in AFC vs Alpha; its about learning how to become attractive to people in general vs continually doing the wrong things, then scratching your head thinking all girls are b-itches.

you could bang 1000 chicks and not have any feelings whatsoever towards any of them and then one day a girl walks into your life that changes the game

Your putting too much logic to this hypothetical situation you've created. A guy who isn't a challenge to women (because he isn't well rounded in his life) will never even bang 30 different girls. Clueless guys fall in love with the flavor of the minute.

when you connect with someone on a deep, personal level, to the point where you don't have to put on a facade or run any game and you're just your natural self and it works for you, it's hard to write off the girl as just another chick

That statement above tells me you don't get it. My natural self is a lot different from someone else's natural self. And if you think you ever don't have to continue to have game or even play the game, then you are in for a lot of surprises in your future relationships. Its only through experience and GAME that a man is able to naturally encompass the traits that are attractive. Without your going to a war with a pair of sticks and some stones in your pocket when your opponent has an AK.

Furthermore who connects with someone on a DEEP PERSONAL level after one date? LOL

it happens to everybody at one point or another

I won't disagree that every so often you run into a "catch." What I do disagree with is how quickly you can determine that AND how often it APPEARS to happen to most noobs and rookies. These guys fall in love in a NY minute, idealizing and putting girls on a pedestal; this is due to inexperience, lack of options and the scarcity mentality.

anyways, sounded like a great date. just guard yourself. easier said than done; but don't get dramatic. forget about how she acts via text, it's about how she acts in person

He will never see her again in person if he keeps acting the way he currently is.... zero challenge, too available and projecting too much interest.


Lets wait and see how this shakes out; I'm willing to bet if he turns his behavior around right now, she will come running back; if he doesn't she will be gone.






PIMP