hmmmm I feel like I just got lied to here

[Jaun_Don]

Hey I'm new here and I was wondering if you could tell me your opinons on this....


Okay the story goes, I live with a gorgeous Woman (not together as a couple sadly) and we get on quite well, there has been a lot of flirting (she knows I like her by the way I act around her) and I have lent her an ear to a lot of troubles she has had with her ex.(who has been a friend of mine in the past) (I know not the right thing to do if I need to get a high interesat level right?)

But this is very interesting, she has only seen me once this week and this morning I get a knock on my door and she says "guess what I just got a txt from (the ex)" and he asked me "what have you been saying why are my friends acting wierd towards me"?

I had just woken up and just said "oh well maybe people are starting to wake up and see what an arrogant **** he is" (not to mention that he treated this lovely specimen like ****) so she says to me "have you been saying anything"?
and I said well you already know that I sent him an e-mail saying "it's not my place to say but you were lucky to have ---- and she is an awesome chick" and he replied back with "You are right "IT'S Not your place to say but yeah she was cool and if the timing was different then we would still be together", I showed her this and she said "what bull****" and laughed about it.

So how is it that this ex txts her (for the first time in months!) well after a week that this e-mail was sent and then 10-15 minutes later she says "he said it was you"???

This confused me and I confronted her about it, and said hold up "you said that he asked what have YOU been saying that is making my friends act wierd around me"
and then she said he meant you, I was like eh?...how so I wouldn't call us friends...and then she went quiet and said "well promise me that you won't e-mail him again okay"?...and I said "yeah okay but I still don't understand how this is on me" and then she gives me this authourative look and says "I'm sure that e-mail was a oncer and it won't happen again" and I said "yep".

It was the way that she changed the 'story' that made me think,hang on this doesn't add up...what do other DJ users make of this?.

Is there anyway I can catch her out?.

Thanks For Reading.

 

[blinkwatt]

ok one thing we must all remember is that women lie to make themselves sound better.
example
i called this one chick up and i talked to her about she doesnt answer her phone the first time someone calls
and i responded with letting her know why she does it, its cause she wants it to look like she something to do etc. i was right she even admitted to it she also admitted to doing it becuase she can also see who she has power thats keeps calling her.
i think alot of guys forget this,its not super important but girls arent all that special they are just like us.

 

[NewMan]

that I sent him an e-mail saying "it's not my place to say but you were lucky to have ---- and she is an awesome chick"

Your right - it is none of your business. You should keep your nose out of his business - unless he asks you.

who has been a friend of mine in the past

Friends like you, who needs enimies.


As far as I can see, you've totaly compromised yourself over a piece of a##. She's got you where she wants you.

That's my opinion.

 

[Don Ronny]

Too late, you already played yourself by buying into the whole "he said/she said" game. Leave that silly stuff to the women, IMO.

 

[Slickster]

This is a typical "nice guy" scenario. You're letting this chick tool you bro. Very sad.

Drama is for chicks and guess what? You're acting just like one by letting her rope you into all of this shyt. She's treating you like one of her girlfriends. The simple fact that you've been involved in all this BS pretty much kills any chance you had with her.

You've come to the right place. Hopefully you'll stick around here long enough to learn the errors of your ways.

Good luck.

 

[Jaun_Don]

thanks for all the replies...I get what you are all saying but the thing is when she first told me I said "why are you telling me" and when she did tell me it all I was very aloof about it and said oh yeah...so a lot of you do think this is lies?.

and as for him being a friend..no...not really we know each other and chat online but we don't hang out or anything.

 

[Jaun_Don]

Originally posted by Slickster
This is a typical "nice guy" scenario. You're letting this chick tool you bro. Very sad.

Drama is for chicks and guess what? You're acting just like one by letting her rope you into all of this shyt. She's treating you like one of her girlfriends. The simple fact that you've been involved in all this BS pretty much kills any chance you had with her.

You've come to the right place. Hopefully you'll stick around here long enough to learn the errors of your ways.

Good luck.

what can I do though, just ignore her?...I have to listen otherwise it's rude, I kept questioning her like I didn't believe her and still don't.

 

[NewMan]

what can I do though, just ignore her?...I have to listen otherwise it's rude, I kept questioning her like I didn't believe her and still don't

Either she wants to fvck you or she wants you to "Listen"....

if she wants to fvck you, it doesn't matter if you listen or not.

If she doesn't want to fvck you - then listening to her bull Sh#t makes no difference.

So at the end of the day, just don't listen to their moaning and groaning - because it matters not.

 

[Jaun_Don]

Update...


So I asked her about this story I just straight up said "you wouldn't lie to me would you?" and boy did she get defensive, not only that I watched her body language really close and she was fidgeting with her bag and swinging her foot like crazy...which indicates to me that she has lied to me...the odd thing though was that she offered to make me dinner after this talk?....and then later she had a friend around and kept talking about "hot guys" so I just left the room...why does this girl play so many games?

What should I do guys?...

 

[DJnoob]

You need to let the inner "jerk out"

 

[Jaun_Don]

Originally posted by DJnoob
You need to let the inner "jerk out"

interesting you say this...because I sent her a text saying could we have a chat I have some things I'd like to say to you and she came home all bolshy and stern, anyway I just said to her I want all the bull**** to be over and to start a fresh and she went on and on about how she was starting to get really angry and that I was the one with the problem cos "she doesn't have those feelings" and I actually yelled at her and said "WELL NIETHER DO I DO?"(she gave me a wide eyed look for this)
and then she said "we don't need to talk about anything" and I said "we are quite different people" and then I said "Thats how i deal with things, I talk about them" and then I walked out.

Later on she came and sat next to me and was nice...I don't care about her, well yeah I guess I do, I just find her really hard to understand...but I certainly don't plan to talk about things with her in the future and

McKindley...you say

I also think you're reading too much into every thing she does or says. If she has a friend over, sometimes the conversation is going to go to "hot guys." Just like how a conversation you have with your guy friends will go to hot girls every once in awhile. It means you are in the friend zone.

I don't know any other girls that talk about Hot Guys while another dude is in the room.

Yeah I guess I do overanalyze things but what she says and her actions are always different, not only that but she looks at me when she mentions me the "hot guys" and when she spoke about one guy (see my "Lied To.." post) she went said it very quietly.

Lastly, yes she is a room mate , we live in the same dwelling.
and other girls reckon she digs me and plays games because she doesn't know what she wants.

meh...I'm just looking for advice thats all...I was thinking that any man would be lucky to have her but he would have to have balls of steel.

From now I just plan to completely treat her like a friend but walk off when she starts talking about guys or gossipy bull****.


:crackup:

 

[Slickster]

Wow man you really are suffering from oneitis here.

Sounds like you found a girl who loves to milk you for attention too.

As long as you are a living there you are going to be in hell.

 

[Jaun_Don]

Originally posted by Slickster
Wow man you really are suffering from oneitis here.

Sounds like you found a girl who loves to milk you for attention too.

As long as you are a living there you are going to be in hell.

nah man..It's all over she is HIGH MAINTENTANCE as hell and I plan to be friends (just not very good or close ones...)

She WON'T be getting the attention she once did

and I could imagine that even if i slept with her the aftermath would be CRAZY, this girl even acted wierd around an ex a few weeks back, but this is it, I got lost in my thoughts and finally came back down to earth to wake up and realize that i have wasted so much energy and time on this bull****...what kind of Woman doesn't like to talk about things though?..that's a new one to me...she can move the **** out if she doesn't like living here...I don't care anymore...she is just a kid that has no idea what she wants but LOVES ATTENTION AND BIENG FUSSED OVER.

I feel much better now that I stopped being such an idiot (we all do it though).

 

[The DomMega]

That was 100% sympin' right there. The reason she's not interested is because you're running behind her like a puppy. You shouldn't have been texting her man, you shouldn't have let her divulge her relationship problems to you, you should've just been an indifferent party and not concerned yourself with the situation.

Just because a girl is fine doesn't mean you fall all over her and be her best friend. Fine girls come a dime a dozen, what makes this one so special? Obviously nothing because she's running game on you. Nothing more than another life support system for a vagina, even though you'd probably like to think otherwise. You have to be able to see things for what they are, regardless of how bitter that might be. Unless you seriously change your ways with this one, you can pretty much consider her lost. Some ******* like me will come by and scoop her up for a week or two without a second thought.

Have you guys read pimposophies? Do I need to link you?

 

[Jaun_Don]

Originally posted by The DomMega
That was 100% sympin' right there. The reason she's not interested is because you're running behind her like a puppy. You shouldn't have been texting her man, you shouldn't have let her divulge her relationship problems to you, you should've just been an indifferent party and not concerned yourself with the situation.

Just because a girl is fine doesn't mean you fall all over her and be her best friend. Fine girls come a dime a dozen, what makes this one so special? Obviously nothing because she's running game on you. Nothing more than another life support system for a vagina, even though you'd probably like to think otherwise. You have to be able to see things for what they are, regardless of how bitter that might be. Unless you seriously change your ways with this one, you can pretty much consider her lost. Some ******* like me will come by and scoop her up for a week or two without a second thought.

Have you guys read pimposophies? Do I need to link you?

It's all very well to say this but I live with the girl and it would be rude to just not listen right?, as for the texting thing she texted me too and the only reason I did it was cause I cared (once) and it was important we DID need to talk, the home was getting ****ed up. but YES you are right, I was a little hung up on her (as for why... god only knows) and I have seen the error of my ways and just treat her like a friend now, she isn't all that nice to me but we are still getting on...I guess she senses that I don't see her the way I did and she seems to be a little stroppy and does her damn sighing thing...I pay her no mind though, just talk to her like like on a platonic level, bascially I was lost in a fog and now I'm out...

On a funny note, we were both in the kitchen and touched each others hand by accident and said sorry at the same time...I thought that was funny...and she made apple crumble for us 2 boys (my other roomie) so she CAN be nice.



:cheer:

 

[bp1974]

Why do you keep saying that it's rude not to listen to her? How is it rude when you've not asked her to dump all this stuff on you?

You don't have an obligation to listen just because she is talking. She's not your wife or your girlfriend so if you don't want to listen to her, don't.

Think about this - isn't it rude that she would start telling you all her troubles when she didn't first check out with you if you were ok with that?

 

[The DomMega]

Originally posted by bp1974
Why do you keep saying that it's rude not to listen to her? How is it rude when you've not asked her to dump all this stuff on you?

You don't have an obligation to listen just because she is talking. She's not your wife or your girlfriend so if you don't want to listen to her, don't.

Think about this - isn't it rude that she would start telling you all her troubles when she didn't first check out with you if you were ok with that?

I concur. If the girl is not your girlfriend and/or wife she has absolutely no right to tell you anything about anything at anytime regardless of circumstance. Its funny how when women try to state these rules for themselves, but when they're going out with a guy they automatically assume they have the right to tell you whatever they want. They slowly start thinking they're in the girlfriend role and thats when you have to get on them immediately.

A verbal contract should be made before getting involved with any one female. Make sure she KNOWS for a fact that the two of you are not in a relationship, you're just seeing each other and thererfor neither of you have any right to reprimand the other about anything, ever. If later on she tries to alter this contract, and she usually will, then you can call her on it and remind her that nothings changed.

Again, I'm just trying to let you see how it should be. THe minute you allow a woman to divulge all her problems onto you, you're moving into the "friend" zone. I don't even really let them do that to me even after we've had sex. Talk to one of your girlfriends about that ****, I'm not your boyfriend I'm just your sideaction.

 

[decades]

oh Drama!!
don 't be one of her CHICKadees!
Be a man and make her go nutz for you.
but you are being her sissie boy. Be the MAN.

 

[Jaun_Don]

Originally posted by persistent exaction
oh Drama!!
don 't be one of her CHICKadees!
Be a man and make her go nutz for you.
but you are being her sissie boy. Be the MAN.

Maybe if you had actually read my last replies you would see that , that statement is way out of order

 

[Jaun_Don]

anyway she is acting a little wierd around me and I noticed her looking at me a few times last night but **** all that, cos I'm meeting up with this cutie later in the week and she seems quite keen to meet.