Hibernation

[resilient]

Ok... long post so bare with me.... this is a turning point and possibly a paradigm shift.

I'm not above my own ego to admit to this forum that the core denominator in my inner/outer game I’ve realized this year as a result of reading hopefully correctly here is: me.

I don't care about how many posts and likes I got this year. I've improved no doubt, yet I still have miles to go before I feel like I can live up to the name: Don Juan. Just being humble and honest. Thanks to some of the DJs that have helped me work through some issues this year. I've greatly appreciated your insights.

@guru1000 has pointed out a few times that we as DJs can’t shift the ego blame on the LTR market on women.

We have to take a cold hard look at ourselves and examine where we’re coming up short. Forget Don Juan for a second.... are we behaving as men? Or whiny simps? Even if your plate has a bottomless pit of social media and OLD options, how many of them would you venture to say is the equivalent of mature, cool, calm and collected (yet still fun and laid back ofc) Don Juan? If we have our game tight in the big three, we can compete with her options! I haven’t given up hope and neither should you. Continue striving forward with your life. Hold your head up high and keep pushing yourself for your own health and financial survival whether or not plates drop or stay. Your happiness is important! I can't change the reality of the market, I can only change myself.

@BeExcellent has pointed out that we should look to get better, not bitter. I agree 100%.

Despite my ability to improve hard this year, my SMV is still not high enough to compete with the women’s options I’m seeing. That was a red pill truth for me that I denied at first, yet realized time and time again. The plates I acquired I felt like they were not on my level physical-wise. Some were either overweight, lazy or just older and more dominant personality wise. No bueno.

Guys in my city on the west coast (not saying where) are raking it in cash flow wise. They have no trouble pulling and are cleaning up the field, acquiring more plates while finding numerous ways to increase their net worth. Women are a side benefit to their success in money and getting ripped in the gym.

Until my SMV is high enough in looks, personality, and money; her options will continue to influence her interest level calibration and subsequently that will absolve in lowering her investment physically and as well as emotional behavioral responses reactive to my frame. The margin for error is thin.

What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I have to think outside the box. I have to improve, otherwise, women will still control the frame and next me fast when they acquire a better branch.

It’s a trip for me because in my head I think I have ⅔ of @Tenacity big three working for me. I hit the gym 6 days a week (gaining 26 lbs of muscle this year), eat well, loads of hobbies (that fuel my personality and fun factor). Money is the big lacking factor now in my mid-30s. I have a stable job yet not sustainable to re-marry and start a family with. FACT.

Long-term:
I started a career transition in the summer of 2015 when I saw the writing on the proverbial wall. At this point, I’m halfway through that process. I got a bachelor's degree and I’m in the process of applying for grad school. I have a difficult prerequisite class that stands as a major obstacle in my way. I failed that course previously this year. If I can jump over that hurdle, I’ll be on a faster route to achieving my financial/educational goals.

With all that in mind, it makes no sense to bother trying to rack up plates and believe I’ll find someone who will support me on all levels as I get through grad school wherever I land up next year for the next 3-4 years.

I’m jealous of you DJs that have a bullpen of plates and are enjoying pulling as your SMV is high enough to compete with AFCs that are content with just being an orbiter. Kudos to the work you've done to achieve that abundance.

I might pull late next year if and when I finally get accepted into med school, yet I’ve decided to clearly write off getting into an LTR.

 

[resilient]

Once you get into med [school] your status will go through the roof...

To victory !!! Med school or bust!

 

[resilient]

Update and checking in with my DJ brothers.

I finished that prerequisite class. I'm waiting to hear back about the status of the grade. Some cool things that have happened since I've been in a 6-month+ hibernation. I'm more focused and determined in my career.

I've been getting good at the guitar at a pace I'm proud of. I didn't know I would take to it like I have and I'm still been playing every day for an hour+. The guitar is just where I go to recharge my batteries so to speak.

That's why I think it's so important for us men to have hobbies that don't even involve women or social aspects. Something that we can self-improve and measure progress. Be it the gym, or other activity.

Sometimes I miss the fun aspects of dating, yet I just don't have the tolerance to deal with low IL women, jealousy/insecurity games or those with too many flags like I used to when I was younger. I'm more likely to bounce on the first few dates rather than hook up, get attached, and lose the frame. I'm not looking for a unicorn per se, I'm just sick of trash... I don't want to just date anyone that I'm physically attracted to... I think in a way I'm looking for a more compatible partner that I would be willing to take up more time. I suppose it's just classic self-respect...

I guess I just want you guys to know that I'm happy and starting to see the fruits of my labor.

My SMV isn't that much higher than at the time I went into hibernation. I'm less mopey and more content. I have a great extended family, more active socially, getting outdoors, and enjoying my own company.

Cheers guys! Keep slaying in whatever your pursuits are.

 

[BeExcellent]

More than half the battle is staying the course and refusing to quit on yourself. You are molding yourself into a worthy man.

Keep at it my friend. In a few short years you will raise a glass to your perseverance and success.

Cheers! -BE

 

[resilient]

Update June 19

I passed that pivotal class I needed to apply for graduate schools. I finished and successfully met deadlines for two grad schools that were due this week. I have two to three schools I'm applying for in a plan B that have rolling deadlines, yet would like to see all items in by December. Loads of time, yet I would like to just move to another state and start this fall and hit the ground running.

I'm plate spinning in "lite mode". Just for the sake of getting dating experience so I don't get too rusty in pickup and leading. I've done my best to adapt to the plate spinning lifestyle with casual dating, yet have found I get attached easily...catch feels, so I'm more or less playing aloof / staying busy.

Playing the guitar and hitting the gym hard as I can daily helps keep anxiety/preoccupation thoughts away.

One potential that shows the most interest that I've been on a few dates with this month completely understands how my career is priority #1 and more importantly that I will be moving far away come this fall. With that in mind, I don't do LDRs...so I'll stay solo and in semi-hibernation until options open up after I move.

I forgot who told me recently, yet they said something along the lines of "you'll be too busy [in graduate school] studying and getting your fieldwork experience to date seriously".

So maybe for ease of conscious, I'll realize like BE said above... I'm making the sacrifices now, so I can persevere and celebrate my success in a few years when I have my degree, land that first job out of graduate school and keep on enjoying life.

I feel like that's the most beautiful thing about this process... Sure I could enjoy a woman or women, yet I'm perfectly happy pursuing my career, interests, and staying active socially as possible. Companionship can wait.

 

[resilient]

Women will invest in you or use you as a placeholder no matter how poor or unavailable you are.

Have you ever noticed when you are too busy with life, education, and career goals women become more interested and curious? It's like you're a challenge and something they want to conquer in pursuit. They get curious why a man isn't running around chasing tail and opting to stay away from the dating scene to improve his SMV. At least twice this month, I've been introduced to women by other women. Like today at my usual hair treatment place, my hairdresser introduces me to another employee:

Hairdresser: "Hey, have I introduced you to resilient?
Young employed woman: (Walks over) "No you haven't!" (Big smile, holds out hand for me shake)
Hairdresser: "resilient is our poster model (not for real, yet she says this to DHV me) for the hair treatment"
Young employed woman: "Wow. Would you be interested in doing video conference call to new potential customers?"
Me: (grins) "I would ladies, but I'm moving to another state soon for graduate school. I could be anywhere."
Young employed woman: "Awww really? That's too bad."
Me: "Throw in a discount to my program and we'll see if we can sweeten the deal"
(More banter, then conversations ends as I have to bounce back to work).

Perhaps it's the success I'm starting to see with measurable results in my academics and career plans that are helping develop a more authentic confidence. I wouldn't have flirted and said my above lines in front of a lobby of six dressed up females if I hadn't spent the time in monk mode to improve myself from all angles.

 

[Dingo]

Eyes on the Prize....

Good job.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Ok...
@BeExcellent has pointed out that we should look to get better, not bitter. I agree 100%.

.

All he did was plagiarized Julien blanc word for word.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Have you ever noticed when you are too busy with life, education, and career goals women become more interested and curious? It's like you're a challenge and something they want to conquer in pursuit. They get curious why a man isn't running around chasing tail and opting to stay away from the dating scene to improve his SMV. At least twice this month, I've been introduced to women by other women. Like today at my usual hair treatment place, my hairdresser introduces me to another employee:

Hairdresser: "Hey, have I introduced you to resilient?
Young employed woman: (Walks over) "No you haven't!" (Big smile, holds out hand for me shake)
Hairdresser: "resilient is our poster model (not for real, yet she says this to DHV me) for the hair treatment"
Young employed woman: "Wow. Would you be interested in doing video conference call to new potential customers?"
Me: (grins) "I would ladies, but I'm moving to another state soon for graduate school. I could be anywhere."
Young employed woman: "Awww really? That's too bad."
Me: "Throw in a discount to my program and we'll see if we can sweeten the deal"
(More banter, then conversations ends as I have to bounce back to work).

Perhaps it's the success I'm starting to see with measurable results in my academics and career plans that are helping develop a more authentic confidence. I wouldn't have flirted and said my above lines in front of a lobby of six dressed up females if I hadn't spent the time in monk mode to improve myself from all angles.

That's why David Deida is a staple of reading material in pickup.

A woman isn't your purpose.

The more you are calling all in on your purpose, the less it is possible you are jumping though a woman's hoops, following the beaten path, and marrying cratered smv like cucks.

 

[resilient]

I've been trying hard to jump start my plate engine this summer and come out of hibernation. The plane has struggled to take flight. I've got a lot to work on myself. More on that later.

Grad school application process has been harder than I anticipated though I'm not giving up, I'm pressing harder to land more opportunities where I have a chance. It's been tricky, staying positive, staying the course.

Last week I got ghosted and blocked by a woman I had been on 5 dates with. I didn't escalate enough in attraction earlier in the dating phase so no surprise she flaked and ghost leading up the 6th date. I gave her mixed signals when I tried to go slow with her, so she lost interest.

I signed up for a few OLD sites and apps for the first time to test the water two weeks ago. I had some initial matches then it's drifted off in messaging/interest. I deleted most of my pics after receiving sub-par ratings on Photofeeler. I kept my best photo of me up for now. Long-term goal would be to get some professional photos after my body is looking better. It's crazy how tough it is to get them out to meet for a date. Maybe it's the pictures, maybe it's what I communicate in attraction that isn't pulling them in. Too friendzone-like questions by me, her, hard to say... I know I'm inexperienced here.

I also meet a cute younger woman at a Meetup event last Friday night, she invited me to join the group's world cup meetup the next morning. We sat next to each other drank a few beers, kino, and then I got the # close. Text game has been lukewarm since the initial attraction despite showing interest.

Bottom line... I realize I have self-esteem, confidence issues I'm still working through even though I feel healed from my divorce 3 years ago. It's hard to shake that off. A few of the members have helped with wisdom on that.

I feel like I just need enough masculine hobbies to rebuild my frame to make me more well-rounded and more of a man that exudes confidence that is authentic. @RangerMIke had excellent advice on that in another recent thread with his 4 steps. I basically have to do the same thing.

I practice archery and the guitar. For fitness, I lift weights and do 30 minutes of kickboxing at a local gym daily. I'm under 6 foot and about 158 lbs. I've toned a lot in the last month, have rounder broad shoulders than before... just lacking in mass...

 

[ubercat]

Great work mate. I don't know if it's in your city but they have this fun thing where they give you foam arrows and a VR headset and you run around in some old Warehouse shooting targets. They put you into teams so it's a group social thing maybe check it.

 

[resilient]

Thanks man. I’ve heard of places like that. I’m working the above post in my head. I believe my priorities for escaping hibernation are some of these steps (mostly not in order):

1. Apply and get into a graduate program somewhere fall or spring
2. Get back into lifting harder.. I’m plateauing
3. Continue to study journals and sites so I remember what I know
4. Continue guitar daily
5. Check OLD once a day... not constantly
6. Stay off social media... I waste too much time there
7. Get diet back in check to improve muscle mass
8. Hydrate properly
9. Continue social groups
10. Flirt more, feel comfortable in my own skin
11. Affirmations
12. Start saying hello to strangers again
13. Work on sustaining eye contact again
14. Less/nofap
14. Strike up more conversations with everyday people
15. #close & ask more girls out on dates if convo goes well
16. Embrace rejection

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Resiliant,
At the risk of seeming banal,might I ask what that magnificent Falcon in your posts is called?...We have a similar more powerful,but not so stunningly beautiful Bird here called a Peregrine Falcon.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Awesome thread

 

[resilient]

@Scaramouche yeah, that’s the bird.

Update

Long post just a heads up. This post is a journal approach to help me process what I’m going through. My future plans are detailed below.

OLD binging/ex-flames
I went on a huge OLD binge this summer. D/l a few apps. Did a ton of messaging and got better at how to flirt, engage them and suggest and meet up for dates.

I took a road trip with an ex main plate and some friends. We hooked up once over that weekend. She invited me over for Netflix and chill the next week, but turned down my advances past making out. I try to get her out on another date and she gave me excuses twice. So I Next that.

I also had a girl I was dating in June tell me that she missed me and wanted to go hiking again together. I do that one day. She is laughing at my teasing etc. I suggest a date the next week, she bails on me 30 mins before date telling me her car battery died while at a grocery store. She doesn’t answer my call, I turn around and drove home. I get a text later saying she was a mess, got a car battery, hanging out with her kid who stayed home and that she will make it up to me. Conclusion: low to no interest. Next.

Main Plate (Now ex-Main Plate)
Finally, I had a break through with an OLD chick. We dated for 6 weeks while I saw others for first dates. Last week communication and interest dropped and all of a sudden I was pursuing to keep her engaged. I got flaked on with no counteroffer yesterday. No formal break up text because we were never exclusive. I didn’t react and said something along the lines essentially saying “cool, I’ll make other plans, enjoy the night”. I’m immediately going no contact. Even if she eventually does reach out, i’m not going to get sucked back in with someone who doesn’t value my time or appreciate who I am.

Lost Focus/Education/Career Drive
I fawked up guys. I was supposed to resubmit my grad school applications once the calendar year rolled around mid-July. I haven’t done that. I did start an online class as a prerequisite to two schools to keep me busy this fall. After twelve years at my job, they let me go. They knew and supported my career change yet needed someone there to commit to their vision for the company...and my heart wasn’t in it. I had one foot in the door, one out. I’ll continue to be a consultant to them but since the end of August...I’ve been unemployed.

Rewiring the brain/work on self-esteem
I realize I have a lot of self-help work I need to do. Others see it in me too. I’m too dependent on whether or not a woman likes me. I try to stay detached until she show more effort, invest, or want an exclusive relationship...so far I keep slipping up, they get a whiff of desperation, slow fade then run. I still haven’t internalized IDGAF. I have to embrace who I am 100%. If someone doesn’t want to be in my life...fawk em’. There will be others who value and respect my time. I won’t chase anymore. If interest level vanishes in a night/week, etc. I probably overpersued for a LTR and they got spooked and bailed for another guy who doesn’t need her as much and has sh!t together. Until my career/education is established and I’m financially stable, no woman will want a LTR with me and I shouldn’t with them.

Learning to live in the place of action - masculinity
A man makes goals and does not let up until they’re accomplished. He focuses 100% on his vision and passion. Women are a lower priority and they know it. He knows how to handle distractions. He can indulge in them time to time yet knows when he goes too far. He moderates his time. He is in self-control. He doesn’t give up. He doesn’t surrender at the first setback (or few).

Life coaching & mentor
One area I feel like I could use in life is a mentor and life coach. I have a friend who is in his late 40s who I believe is a good fit for that. I want to start either calling periodically or meet once a month for lunch. I have a free consultation with a prospective life coach later today. I’m going to bullet point a few things I have to sort life out.

Wisdom/bottom line
The wisdom I’ve gained through all my dating the last three years since my ex-spouse ended things is...no woman will want to remotely enter a LTR with me until I’m completely financially secure. There’s no point in pursuing a relationship unless I have something to provide her beyond my body, time, and personality.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

@Scaramouche yeah, that’s the bird.

Update

Long post just a heads up. This post is a journal approach to help me process what I’m going through. My future plans are detailed below.

OLD binging/ex-flames
I went on a huge OLD binge this summer. D/l a few apps. Did a ton of messaging and got better at how to flirt, engage them and suggest and meet up for dates.

I took a road trip with an ex main plate and some friends. We hooked up once over that weekend. She invited me over for Netflix and chill the next week, but turned down my advances past making out. I try to get her out on another date and she gave me excuses twice. So I Next that.

I also had a girl I was dating in June tell me that she missed me and wanted to go hiking again together. I do that one day. She is laughing at my teasing etc. I suggest a date the next week, she bails on me 30 mins before date telling me her car battery died while at a grocery store. She doesn’t answer my call, I turn around and drove home. I get a text later saying she was a mess, got a car battery, hanging out with her kid who stayed home and that she will make it up to me. Conclusion: low to no interest. Next.

Main Plate (Now ex-Main Plate)
Finally, I had a break through with an OLD chick. We dated for 6 weeks while I saw others for first dates. Last week communication and interest dropped and all of a sudden I was pursuing to keep her engaged. I got flaked on with no counteroffer yesterday. No formal break up text because we were never exclusive. I didn’t react and said something along the lines essentially saying “cool, I’ll make other plans, enjoy the night”. I’m immediately going no contact. Even if she eventually does reach out, i’m not going to get sucked back in with someone who doesn’t value my time or appreciate who I am.

Lost Focus/Education/Career Drive
I fawked up guys. I was supposed to resubmit my grad school applications once the calendar year rolled around mid-July. I haven’t done that. I did start an online class as a prerequisite to two schools to keep me busy this fall. After twelve years at my job, they let me go. They knew and supported my career change yet needed someone there to commit to their vision for the company...and my heart wasn’t in it. I had one foot in the door, one out. I’ll continue to be a consultant to them but since the end of August...I’ve been unemployed.

Rewiring the brain/work on self-esteem
I realize I have a lot of self-help work I need to do. Others see it in me too. I’m too dependent on whether or not a woman likes me. I try to stay detached until she show more effort, invest, or want an exclusive relationship...so far I keep slipping up, they get a whiff of desperation, slow fade then run. I still haven’t internalized IDGAF. I have to embrace who I am 100%. If someone doesn’t want to be in my life...fawk em’. There will be others who value and respect my time. I won’t chase anymore. If interest level vanishes in a night/week, etc. I probably overpersued for a LTR and they got spooked and bailed for another guy who doesn’t need her as much and has sh!t together. Until my career/education is established and I’m financially stable, no woman will want a LTR with me and I shouldn’t with them.

Learning to live in the place of action - masculinity
A man makes goals and does not let up until they’re accomplished. He focuses 100% on his vision and passion. Women are a lower priority and they know it. He knows how to handle distractions. He can indulge in them time to time yet knows when he goes too far. He moderates his time. He is in self-control. He doesn’t give up. He doesn’t surrender at the first setback (or few).

Life coaching & mentor
One area I feel like I could use in life is a mentor and life coach. I have a friend who is in his late 40s who I believe is a good fit for that. I want to start either calling periodically or meet once a month for lunch. I have a free consultation with a prospective life coach later today. I’m going to bullet point a few things I have to sort life out.

Wisdom/bottom line
The wisdom I’ve gained through all my dating the last three years since my ex-spouse ended things is...no woman will want to remotely enter a LTR with me until I’m completely financially secure. There’s no point in pursuing a relationship unless I have something to provide her beyond my body, time, and personality.

Women will date and enjoy time with you while your financially stability isnt yet in order. Date for sex and fun, dont worry about LTR.

 

[resilient]

Women will date and enjoy time with you while your financially stability isnt yet in order. Date for sex and fun, dont worry about LTR.

That’s the thing man... I don’t know what is inside of me that wants a LTR so bad.

When the woman pulls back, I can’t just let her go wander away. I get so addicted to attention (dopamine hits from receiving texts), physical affection and sex that I freak out if they stop texting or responding after hooking up for a month or so. At that point, I think of excuses to text. A joke, a picture, observation, something sexual/flirting, good night/good morning after I got accustomed to her doing that to me. I haven’t mastered pulling back and letting her come to me like a cat.

I’ve got loads of hobbies, social, etc. that keeps me busy, yet I can’t stop thinking about the girl I’m dating when I’m not around. I, in a way subtly or not so subtly communicate weakness, neediness, and desperation even if I’m talking to other girls online or getting regular first dates when I have a main plate.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That’s the thing man... I don’t know what is inside of me that wants a LTR so bad.

When the woman pulls back, I can’t just let her go wander away. I get so addicted to attention (dopamine hits from receiving texts), physical affection and sex that I freak out if they stop texting or responding after hooking up for a month or so. At that point, I think of excuses to text. A joke, a picture, observation, something sexual/flirting, good night/good morning after I got accustomed to her doing that to me. I haven’t mastered pulling back and letting her come to me like a cat.

I’ve got loads of hobbies, social, etc. that keeps me busy, yet I can’t stop thinking about the girl I’m dating when I’m not around. I, in a way subtly or not so subtly communicate weakness, neediness, and desperation even if I’m talking to other girls online or getting regular first dates when I have a main plate.

We need to revert to highschool thinking just "to get puzzy". Some of the rest of us want to latch on as well. So all the pros are saying females should be the one begging for a relationship. We should be worried about sex and fun. Its said that us focusing on getting a relationship is feminine thinking.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Ok... long post so bare with me.... this is a turning point and possibly a paradigm shift.

I'm not above my own ego to admit to this forum that the core denominator in my inner/outer game I’ve realized this year as a result of reading hopefully correctly here is: me.

I don't care about how many posts and likes I got this year. I've improved no doubt, yet I still have miles to go before I feel like I can live up to the name: Don Juan. Just being humble and honest. Thanks to some of the DJs that have helped me work through some issues this year. I've greatly appreciated your insights.

DJ status is a fantasy. Its like, seeking MPUAs status.

DJ/MPUA is a sign post. Its a marker but it doesn't pay the bills. I think it is a area men should cultivate "being" however, being able to good approach, SNL, ONS, spin plates, and have no approach anxiety.

Absurd amounts of KJs. Lots of e standards. How many have good game?

@guru1000 has pointed out a few times that we as DJs can’t shift the ego blame on the LTR market on women.

We have to take a cold hard look at ourselves and examine where we’re coming up short. Forget Don Juan for a second.... are we behaving as men? Or whiny simps? Even if your plate has a bottomless pit of social media and OLD options, how many of them would you venture to say is the equivalent of mature, cool, calm and collected (yet still fun and laid back ofc) Don Juan? If we have our game tight in the big three, we can compete with her options! I haven’t given up hope and neither should you. Continue striving forward with your life. Hold your head up high and keep pushing yourself for your own health and financial survival whether or not plates drop or stay. Your happiness is important! I can't change the reality of the market, I can only change myself.

Theres something to be said of self knowledge, self ownership, and being the man.

Theres something to be said of acknowledging reality as it is. For example, the girl power society. The laws that supplicate to women, custody, divorce, false accusations, etc.

A lot of low testosterone these days. Its men needing to step up but, realize even so called DJs pedaling "females empowerment."

Women filling a quota, failing fire fighting fitness but being hired on, and just the circle jerk of rubbish is stupidity. Common sense is not so common.

Male adaptation, evolution, and improvising is key.

[QUOTE@BeExcellent has pointed out that we should look to get better, not bitter. I agree 100%.[/QUOTE]

He just stole julien blanc's line.

Despite my ability to improve hard this year, my SMV is still not high enough to compete with the women’s options I’m seeing. That was a red pill truth for me that I denied at first, yet realized time and time again. The plates I acquired I felt like they were not on my level physical-wise. Some were either overweight, lazy or just older and more dominant personality wise. No bueno.

A/S/L? Relatively? Its been my exp, it gets better with age.

As in, new girls turning 18 everyday. Today's hottest girl cannot compete with tomorrow's starlet.

Open hypergamy is pedaled. Its then infuriating when Playboy stops calling. Its that red pill women are forced to swallow boot first but too little too late. Its Rollo's epiphany phase.

Its not finding god or whatever jazz she may push. Its her inability to compete.

Its what Chris Rock meant by, "you weren't her first choice." Its these truth bombs that debunk the feminine imperative.

Guys in my city on the west coast (not saying where) are raking it in cash flow wise. They have no trouble pulling and are cleaning up the field, acquiring more plates while finding numerous ways to increase their net worth. Women are a side benefit to their success in money and getting ripped in the gym.

IMHO lifts are ideal as is keeping testosterone up. Esp with age. Still, lifting and pulling don't correlate. If your game is wackkkk, you won't pull.

Guys like LS Cajun are hobo status but pull baeeeees. Its purely just game. Mystery isn't rich. His game is ****in ridiculous.


Obv, up resources, acquire property, land, real estate, etc. Step game up but the conversion of game is key. Resource's will give access to higher status baeeeees.

Until my SMV is high enough in looks, personality, and money; her options will continue to influence her interest level calibration and subsequently that will absolve in lowering her investment physically and as well as emotional behavioral responses reactive to my frame. The margin for error is thin.

Check Shawn Stephenson. Dude is Manley and wheelchair bound. He got a wife far above his SMV.

IMHO, game is pulling above your SMV. Not below. Its just more difficult with the status quo, e standards, and female logic.

What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I have to think outside the box. I have to improve, otherwise, women will still control the frame and next me fast when they acquire a better branch.

Chase excellence not women. Acquire the following. The rest will fall in line. Ideally, acquire before obtaining excellence.

EG McGregor had Dee during being on social assistance. Clearly, she's a keeper.

It’s a trip for me because in my head I think I have ⅔ of @Tenacity big three working for me. I hit the gym 6 days a week (gaining 26 lbs of muscle this year), eat well, loads of hobbies (that fuel my personality and fun factor). Money is the big lacking factor now in my mid-30s. I have a stable job yet not sustainable to re-marry and start a family with. FACT.

Its 2018. If a woman seeks that, she must bring absurd amounts of resources and value. The problem is,they don't.

Biggest red flag, "remarried," and your believing in monogamy.

Monogamy is fantasy. Its easy see to keep society orderly when smv craters.

Long-term:

I started a career transition in the summer of 2015 when I saw the writing on the proverbial wall. At this point, I’m halfway through that process. I got a bachelor's degree and I’m in the process of applying for grad school. I have a difficult prerequisite class that stands as a major obstacle in my way. I failed that course previously this year. If I can jump over that hurdle, I’ll be on a faster route to achieving my financial/educational goals.

I hope you are studying STEM.

Word to the wise, you can declare bankruptcy on everything but a student loan. Its blood money. Be warned.

Women are cratering SMV for a broke ass pretty boy. Its resources sway when smv craters, nearing or at 30.

#donotwant!

With all that in mind, it makes no sense to bother trying to rack up plates and believe I’ll find someone who will support me on all levels as I get through grad school wherever I land up next year for the next 3-4 years.

You're not doing it right. Cultivate being the man.

I’m jealous of you DJs that have a bullpen of plates and are enjoying pulling as your SMV is high enough to compete with AFCs that are content with just being an orbiter. Kudos to the work you've done to achieve that abundance.

I have yet to see pics. Most are all smoke. No fire. The misc had tons of playboys. Its getting bleak.after YBD.

I might pull late next year if and when I finally get accepted into med school, yet I’ve decided to clearly write off getting into an LTR.

Big ups.

My fear for you is smashing med school, acquire doctor status and getting cucked by some bimbo.

Do not marry. No cohabitation. No single moms. Only bang 18-24. Women not keen to get preggers.

 

[resilient]

Thanks for the response and concerns, Deezed. I’m doing some deep inner game work right now. Similar to my catharsis thread. I have 3.5 decades to rewire deep rooted self-esteem, insecurity, and codependency issues. Basically everything a DJ is not.

I’m working on thinking more positive. Goal directed. Action oriented. Career focused and becoming all around suitable man.

I’ll get there. It just may take time and patience to unravel these patterns and attracting the same broken, toxic relationships.

As I become more secure with myself, grounded, wise and sharper.... in theory, I should be practical and objective when spinning plates. Drop them faster when red flags appear.

My first life coach meeting is tomorrow. If I do the work and apply myself, I can turn around and transform.

AFC days have to end.

I have to become her first choice. That starts by making myself the first choice first. I.e. not being a people pleaser that placates to all their needs and wants lol.