Hi, I'm in this situation. Am I screwed?

[sam21]

Hi, I'll try to resume the thing.

I meet this girl by MSN and I used to chat with her a lot, and it was so great, I was a nice guy with her, and because we used to connect perfectly I thought I could make it ignoring the rules. Plus there is a friend of us who is jerk-like and she likes him, but he rejected her because she is not very atractive, so I was lucky on that.

Btw, beeing a nice guy I could note that she didn't shine for me, but she did for this friend of us, even given the fact that she and I had so much more conection. So I was looking for a way to achieve that magic. I insisted on the nice-guy way, because I felt so right in it, I though I could make it.

The thing is that one night the girl and I were chatting and it was so funny but normal, but suddendly she surprised me... she started to do a character so lovely that got me completely out of control, and I couldn't help it and I said that I loved her. Well, next picture... she says we have to talk about that... and she send me the next day a txt telling me that she can't understand what's wrong, that her brain tells her that we are perfect for each other... but for some reason there is an extra little thing that is missing, and that she is afraid that in the future she might regret what she is doing.

So I felt very bad after this... and I was in the nice guy heart broken depressive mode, so... I thought about to arrange a meeting with her the next day and steal her a kiss, or something like that... u know, all the nice guy cards that I know they don't work... but because I think I rule, I believe that I can make an extremelly great nice guy move and get the girl without any stupid rule. But ok, I didn't make that move, for good.

I surrender... I will follow the rules that you say in this page, because I tried A LOT beeing who I am, even trying my best and improving the nice guy to the most, I couldn't reach the girl I want ever.

So, the question is... am I screwed with this girl now? because... since she sent me that txt I started reading again a lot of the quick tips of this page, and I followed them... beeing the agresor, I stoped paying her much atention, you know... all that stuff, and even started to practice with other girls, all by msn... right, but ok.

Btw, this girl is not that hard, because she never had a bf... and she never kissed a guy before, so that's why I'm not very sure if I still have chances... I mean, I can take control on this. But I don't know if I'm screwed already because I told her I love her.

I'm improving myself, I'm "showing" her that I don't need her and I feel a change of aura... a good one for me, and I believe it's possible. It may sound desperate, but ok, it's just a girl who I think I have chances with... a girl who I really like.

What I have to do now is to keep my friend's mind on another girl, and improve myself on the DJ way.

Btw, I'm as smart as this girl, and this friend of us is less. I don't know if that matters, what I'm trying to say is that she and I have more natural conection. If that thing exists.

Well, I hope you can tell me usefull stuff. Thanks anyway!

Bye!

 

[[DoN.2.Da.JUaN]]

id say ur screwed...

nice guys always finish last.

 

[sam21]

Right!, but the thing is:

1- she is not that hard, she wants a boy... and because she is not very pretty and stuff, she won't get one very easy... and I DO like her.

2- I'll stop beeing a nice guy, I think that may work. From now on I'm gonna keep her thinking on me and wanting to get me, I'll have the power, I'll be the man.

Is that possible once I've shown myself as a nice guy?

I can change my reputation, and I feel like I have some pluses in all this. Well, actually I don't know very well... I need some guide, and besides I want to use this situation to learn how to DJ .

=)

thanks.

 

[Black_Italian]

Shes ugly why are u wasting ur time?

Stop being nice be a Ninja

 

[Heyjose25points]

Black_Italian, once again....:crackup:

 

[Sasha]

I cant approach a girl If my life dependet on it but my game is a little betther with chick I am allready in contact with.. anyways here is the solution as I see it.

1. dress difrently! buy a new wach, neckless, shirt, whatEVA! Show her that you are moving in life. You changing!

2. Start beeing exited about a hobby of yours. Dont have hobby? FIND ONE! Like, I don't know. Get obseesed about bikes! Read about them and **** and whenever you talk to this girl, tell her something new about em.

3. When she calls you and stuff. DONT PICK UP ALLWAYS! Sometimes let it ring. Then 5 min later call back and say you ware busy and stuff. Same apply for txt messages!

4. When you are around her. talk about other girls! they hate it!

5. don't go beating up people and sh.t but a bit of bad boy never hurts

6. when she talks about this friend of yours that she likes, DON'T COMMENT ON SH.T she tells you about him! smile! don't let it bother you!

7. don't be an as$hole towards her! but you don't have to jump every time she calls you name!

8. ignore her!!! just like with the tlf calls! go out and some sh.t that you to use to do togather and then do it on your own and when she askes why didn't you ask her to come, just come up with some bull she's gonna hate it

NOW! All of this will just make her wonder about you! Next you need to do is to show her you are intersted!

and NO DONT TELL HER YOU LOVE HER YOU FOOL!!!

I meen like a playfull hit on the sholder, tickle her, comment her hair and stuff in a coocky and funny way. You know. Show her that you like beeing around her WITHOUT telling her that litheraly!

And one more thing. If she ask you what you think of her or anything like that! Don't come with that bull about her beeing the most beautiful girl ever and sh.t!!! Say that she's ok!

The less you like her the more she likes you!

 

[Sasha]

I forgot...

Don't EVER show her your feeling! Feelings are good when it comes to beeing friends! CHICKS dosen't want a guy that is all squshi and sh.t!!

 

[loco2chon]

I'ts cool

Hey man I'm in the same situation. Don't worry about it. If you change and play your sh!t the right way, I know it'll work out. I'ts working for me... I think... trust me. Control your impulses, I know its hard but its possible.

 

[sam21]

Hey, this is cool... thanks for the help.

btw, I found out that it is a little more hard than I thought, it's gonna take some time, she knows me very well... and I don't how to show myself without the nice guy personality.

Should I talk to her like I used to? what should I change to be taken as a real not-nice-guy?

I guess I have to keep talking to her like I used to, but... mm, beeing a little more unpredictable? cut conversations misteriously? no no, that stupid things will only make her see me as a freak or a perturbed man.

OK OK, I GUESS that what I have to do is to keep being myself for a long... until things chill out... in the process I can tell her about a hobby or stuff, or be a little more distant, and then... when everything is forgoten, start over... but damn, she knows me... she will note that I'm acting.

Guess I'm screwed... this is not an imposible situation, but I don't think I have what it takes to make it through

=)

 

[sam21]

Oh man, I have to loong way to pass through...

in general I mean...

 

[sam21]

ok, I'll act as I want... and if she says "hey, why are you acting so strange?" or that sh1t that touches me... I'll tell her... "**** YOU, STUPID *****!!!"

and then I'll smile

 

[NewMan]

Stop acting and live like a DJ.

1st step is to forget about this woman.

Develop the mindset of a DJ. This woman is nothing - there are many, many women out there - stop fixating on this one Ho.

Live life by your rules and stop dreaming about this Ho.

Get a life.

Get some buddies.

and start living your life instead of exsisting in someone else's life.

 

[Big Eee Zee]

even if you don't get her, you are improving you're life. well done.

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

Do you ever touch her? Kino? If you're going to go for this girl, get her used to your touch. It can work wonders, but it has to be done right. Just don't go up to her and grab her a$$ (well, that may work in some situations, but probably not this one). Search the forum for tips on kino, and you'll get the idea.
Women like to be touched, and if done properly, you can still work it in without her suspecting anything since you mentioned that she knows you very well. Just be subtle and cool about it, and be sure to make note of her reaction when you do it.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

I don't think being not nice anymore will help you. Now she will just think you're an as$h0le since she already knows you're nice. She'll probably ask you what the hell is your problem if you try to do something out of character that you have established with her.

BTW maybe I missed this in your post... but have you even MET her in person or just saw a pic?

 

[evoke]

edit: screw all that

But yeah, don't go overboard and try and be something you're not, or she'll see through it and think you're an idiot.

 

[sam21]

right, thanks to all.

Now, to Evoke and JoeDirt, what am I supose to do then? because that's what I feel too... so, the question is... am I screwed in that way or there's something I can do?

btw, yes... I met her in person... like 5 times, plus... one time it was in her house and I gave her a foot massage for a long time with a nice character... it was great, oh man... if I could just turn back time to that moment and avoid all the crap I did since then...

well thanks!

keep helping me!

 

[sam21]

what I'm having in mind the most these times, is to be a challenge for her... I'm looking for a way to be... and I still don't have an oportunity to start a "game" between us

I see that pretty clear now, to be a challenge for her... in every conversation, I think that works GREAT... maybe I'm beeing fool, but I think it is the best strategy in this kind of situation

I'll explain a little more about the challenge stuff and then I'll talk about it in general in this kind of situations.

I saw my friend and this girl chatting, and when they talk it's all a game... my friend tease her... she tells him something like a test, so my friend answer trying to be funny but unpredictable... and that kind of game generates and aura that I can see is the magic that she wants.

On the other hand, when I talk to this girl... I'm nice... I tell her things that makes her laugh a lot... that she may think "oh my god, how great is this..." but, besides I'm smarter than my friend so I make better jokes and better analisys... I'm not a challenge for her, I just give her the best I can everytime, and she takes it... and she gives me her best... but all with a big smile, and that... that DOESN'T WORK.

So, I'm trying to be wise here.. ok? just let me, lol... besides I'm all theory and no practice.

But ok, in this cases in which you were a nice guy with a girl... and she has already jugded you... I think that the first step you have to do, is to start beeing a challenge for her... be cool, be funny, but be slightly mean... and make her, mm... put her in a situation in which she wants to declare war to you, of course.. not WAR with all the letters... let's say it a WA [ok.. not funny]

well, now I DEMAND you to give me advices of how to be a challenge for her, because I'm pretty sure that's the first step to do

so, if you are 100% sure by experience that that's not the first step, be my guest and tell me why, and if you think I have something here, please... help me on this, because I have no practice at all...

so, thanks to everyone, I hope you enjoy my history.

Bye!! =)

 

[sam21]

btw, as I was writing that message I told her "hey, you are acting a little strange today" and she at first ignore what I said... and then after a few minues she went "hey, tell me NOW why do you think I'm acting strange", and I said to her to wait... that I'll be right back...

now I have a nice chance to start a challenge with this stuff, but of course.. I don't know what the heck to say...

so... I'll see what to say now... lol

bye!

 

[evoke]

Try not to think so hard about it. If you think too much, you'll start to care too much. When you do that, things fall apart. You're setting yourself up for failure.