HEYS GUYS Can you please help a newbie out here?

[Slowandeasy]

Ok first off I am glad I found the boardit has alot of good insight and information. Heres my story. I am 27 and have been dating a girl who is 24 for the past 9 months. Welll to make a long story short I have heard this girl has a history of dating guys for 4-5 months and so forth. I even asked her about this and she said that "she deserves the world and won't stop until she finds that perfect person"? I know for a fact that I gave this girl more chances and so forth but 2 weeks ago I found out she was talking to someone else and we broke up and she has been with that guy ever since. Of course he kisses her ass 24/7 buys her anything, will run to her side everytime she needs anything...... you know the type. Hes a little younger I think hes 22. I always heard things from her like " Why don't you do this, why don't you do that etc... No guy has ever done this to me and so forth...... Of course I didn't kiss her ass and I think it bothered her. I would say she is a 10 on the HB scales as for looks and body. On the personality side shes a 5-6 at BEST!..... VERY DEMANDING and HIGH MAINT. Fact is that I loved this girl and I would have married her this Christmas as I already had a ring picked out. The crap is she tells me that she still wants to be frineds and wants me to call her and all this crap. WHY THE HELL does she want to keep me around as a friend. I have a little trouble with that. While they were together I know that I could have slept with her if I tried but I didn't as thats not cool. I really had a life planned out for this girl but how can you ever make someone realize what they lost. Should I stay in contact or just act as if she died. I don't want to be one of these ONEITOS? Guys but if you truly love someone and know you had a good thing than how do you ever go about getting them back. Naturally you don't want to be forgotten so should you stay in touch or ? PLEASE dopn't blast me and tell me to screw her and all that I was just wondering how women think when it comes to this stuff. She was blatant enough to tell me that she has alot of things in common with this guy and she would like to know that if we had a chance together later on we could work out our problems and you never know. WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF is this crap. Help guys as I feel pretty worthless about now.

 

[Speed Demond]

Dude....i think you'r preocupying your mind to muc with this stuff right now..if you wanna stay her friend then thats totaly up to you. If your gonna be a lil puppy dog with her now because you want her back..i suggest that you don't stay in contact....it'll help you get over her if she's not in the picture. You think she's so great..well let me tell you..theres alot more where that came from.....there are many girls out there that are similar to her..i know it for a fact...been there..done that... Just go out..have fun meet new girls..you'll probly end up wanting to be single and explore even more things right now, like traveling, meet new girls of all kinds. I donno...just don't feel like ****t..it's not worth it man...theres more to life then just girls. IF you want to feel a lil better go out and get laid!! lol it always releaves some pressure! Have lotsa fun with life and take care

 

[Atratus]

Speed Demond said it all, man. Listen to him.

You need to:
1 get on with your life
1.1 work/study/whatever
1.2 other chicks.

In dealing with her from now on, just be blunt. If she calls and you don't want talk to her, tell her not to call you and that you don't want to talk to her. She'll probably ask why and stuff, but don't say anything back. Just say goodbye, or i don't need to see you for now we'll talk some other time, or whatever.

And as to your inquiry into the female mind, well... read the bible.

Good luck, and enjoy reading the DJ bible.

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

If you like controlling women, then more power to ya!

I think you are too much caught up on how sexy your ex is and daydream and wonder about how this dude is getting some that nookie that it is blinding you like a bat.

Here is some knowledge by sexy Malibu regarding breakups

When she says "Goodbye"
It breaks my heart everytime I see one of you guys post a "How do I get her back?" thread. The saddest thing is you probably didn't even do anything wrong. Let me tell you something that might help you move on. She ain't coming back. She's already made up her mind and cut the ties. It's not fair, it's not pretty, but the truth rarely is. Here's a few items that may help explain things.

Women think about their relationship 90% of the time.
Especially since we are told from the cradle that men don't understand a damn thing about love & relationships. We wonder where the relationship is going, where it is, where it was and about every possible direction it can go. She thinks about you as a potential husband, father, lover and will you dump her if she gets cancer. She'll question you IL ever second you're with her, and more so when you're not.

Women NEVER forget...never, never, ever!
You said something as a joke, she SAID she's fine with it and that should be your first warning. In "Woman-speak" the word FINE is defines like this F-furious I-inside N-never E-ending. She will be dragging crap up from thirty years ago to throw in your face now. (Does this mean walk on egg shells to prevent upsetting her? Hell no! But when she says she's "fine" with something and you suspect otherwise CALL HER ON IT. Tell her (don't ask, TELL HER): "So you're REALLY all right with this. You aren't pissed at me, and you aren't going to drag this up later. Is that right?." If she says yes, then don't tolerate her dragging up that item. She agreed she was fine with it and would move on from it.

Women don't like to hurt your feelings.
Really! We really don't like hurting you. That's why the "I think we should break up" line always hits you from out of left field. You never saw it coming, because she never mentioned two weeks ago that she was thinking about it. She didn't want to hurt your feelings. This is especially true if she thinks it wasn't your fault for the break up. (ie...she met some one else, she's having personal problems) This is also why we go to Car Shows (BORING!) and Monster Truck Rallys (LOUD and BORING) then tell you how much fun we had with a big grin!

When she says it's over, IT'S OVER.
By the time she decides it's over, it's over. She has thought up 197 reasons that you two shouldn't be together any more. She has cut the ties and made herself ready to move on. The only thing left to do is tell you. The more you hang on, stay in touch, & try to "win" her back the more fuel you give to her reasoning. The best thing you can do is kiss her on the nose and say: "Well Babe, it was fun while it lasted. Good luck!" and walk away. This doesn't mean she just didn't rip you heart out of your chest and stomp it to a greasy spot on the carpet. It just means that nothing else you can say will help the situation. Not pleading, not screaming and not threats. Don't call, don't write, don't e-mail, don't hire a 25 piece band to play her favorite song in her front yard. Walk away and let it go.

 

[Slowandeasy]

Has anyone ever seen that Nicole Kidman movie " To Die For" I'ts the one where shes the weird schoolteacher or whatever and she has this alter ego style mind....... THAT is this girl UP AND DOWN. I guess I could move on but somthing tells me that if everytime people break up like this NO ONE would ever stay together because I see alot of that stuff going on. One minute together, next minute together with someone else. etc.. It seems as though this day and age no one puts a very high value on anyone their with because apparently there is always someone else standing on the corner they can go to. Yeah it sucks to have ""''thought" you found the one only to find out it was wasted time. HERES MY QUESTION, is it possible to find a girl whos a nice looking, nice body, and has the attitude of someone whos NOT attractive? It's like every girl I get with whos hot has this damn attitude that I should go out of my way 24/7 just to KEEP HER? WHY because there is always some dumb fool who will sweep her off her feet the minute you are not doing these things. I guess I have alot to learn. I just never thought that dating this type girl would require me to give up time with my friends, my job, and everything else in life I like JUST to please this type girl. I may be stereotyping her but it seems that every girl whos hot acts like this? Am I wrong here or ?

 

[stormwriter]

Dude, that is the ultimate prize that every guy wants. I have a saying with my friends. We want: "A good looking girl that doesn't know she's good looking."
Or put another way: "A good looking girl that isn't high maintainence."


Us men are to blame, cause we've given the good looking girls their attitude problem. I told myself, "Don't give a hot woman a compliment, it just feeds her ego!!" but as soon as i'm around a hot woman, i'm sitting there complimenting her, and i can't follow my own advice.

I read a quote somewhere that said, "A beautiful woman is often a disappointment." and i believe it. If they've been attractive almost their whole life, they've gauged their value on the open market, and know they can get HOTTTT guys, and they know they get compliments every ten seconds, and hit on ever 13 seconds. Even when they are b!tches, guys still jump through hoops for them, so why be nice and sweet, when you can be a b!tch as STILL get your way?


It's very, very discouraging. What sucks, is i wasn't that great looking, and i was pulling some B-grade women that were cool. I upgraded my looks, body, and wardobe and have been getting some A-grade women, but they've been so disappointing cause they have run me through the wringer with their godda*m uppity attitudes. So, i'm trying to find that A minus-grade girl that is a great combination of cute and great personality.

 

[NewMan]

Here is the problem:

a girl who is 24

Fora start, she's to damn young to think about getting hitched with her.

She probably likes all the attention she gets from guy's - all the things they are willing to do for her - she can get this guy, and that guy, and oh, now she wants this one.

She doesn't know what the fvck she wants.

Does that suck for you? yes. But here is the lesson - you should not have fallen head over heels for her like that.

By the time she hits 28+ she will probably have figured some of this out - got lot's of attention and realised that these men are not men, but boys.

Personally, I never get serious with a young girl - older women only for me.

Is this a generalization? for sure. There are exceptions I'm sure, but I tarnish every chick with the same brush until I know otherwise.

Your best bet is not to contact this chick. Sure, it will hurt. But don't worship her like all the other guys in her life. You will be different. Act like you don't give a crap. Have a great time. Do interesting and new things - and when she calls you be friendly - tell her about all the great things in your life.

There's nothing that will p#ss her off more than you, who's moved on and are having the time of your life.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

y do u fall in love so easy? oh yeah thats right u like the way she looks - she is a ho - does this count for anything? too many wimps on this board - b a man damn it - dont talk to her and move on - i repeat dont even persue this ho - save your ring for the next victim - i mean candidate.

I question what u look for in a woman - i only been on this board a few days and i cant believe how low targets you guys shoot for anybody can hit these hos with a slingshot a thousand yards away. look at a woman's values and character to decide if she is the one for you not her face and crotch - u have been blinded in both eyes. y do u guys like these loose hos so much - is she your trophy? hell - by definition wh@res are everyones trophy - fools!!!!!

 

[Slowandeasy]

I guess I see your guys points on this. I had planned to be a **** when I take her stuff to her and tell her to stay the hell out of my life. So I guess this is the wrong thing to do. I should act like it doesnt even bother me at all right?.........Damn maybe I had this stuff all wrong. I was always under the assumtion that girls wanted a guy who would treat them nice and such. In all reality I will get more respect from this girl just being a person who doesnt give a crap? WTF. We had broke up, I am sorry "SHE" had broke up 2 times in the past but we were always back together the next day so I guess I am following a pattern that is telling her I will be here no matter what? DAMN I do not want to be thought of that way at all so what gives with this? I want someone whos with me to feel that if they screw up "they are GONE" Not what is going on here. Am I right on this one. guys?

 

[prodigy1]

Originally posted by NewMan
Act like you don't give a crap. Have a great time. Do interesting and new things - and when she calls you be friendly - tell her about all the great things in your life.

There's nothing that will p#ss her off more than you, who's moved on and are having the time of your life.

i know its best to get over her and move on and dont hassle her about getting back together and stuff, but acting like your having the time of your life may back fire as well wouldnt it?? When she sees you all happy, wont it make it easier for her because she will think she was right in her decision..

im saying this because, this guy wants her to realise what she has lost.

 

[felony]

You've got some good advice here.

I just wanted to nicely say don't forget about paragraphs. Please. Thankyou.

f.

 

[NewMan]

i know its best to get over her and move on and dont hassle her about getting back together and stuff, but acting like your having the time of your life may back fire as well wouldnt it?? When she sees you all happy, wont it make it easier for her because she will think she was right in her decision..

Thats the point - she will realize what she's lost because he's having a great time and she can see it.

She will not be able to hold her tongue - and she will make some kind of comment... Something like...

"Well I'm glad to see that you are happy"

OR

"Well it didn't take long for you to get on with your life"

Thats the key. If he really wants her back - and he thinks she's worthwhile, then he makes his move.

 

[Slowandeasy]

I took your guys advice. I called her up yesterday and I was hoping to get the answering machine instead of her as she makes it a point to tell me " oh yeah please keep in touch and don't change your number and all that crap." So, I just left a message and told her nicely that I would have her car brought to her boyfrieeds car detail business and that would be the end of it and us. So, she calls back 5 minutes later and I didn't answer so she left a voice mail stating that she wanted me to "call her" so she could see if there was anything else at my house that was hers. She said she had a couple T-shirts that were mine she wanted to get with me to give back. I havent called her back as she has NOTHING else at my house and those T-shirts don't mean crap to me. It seems you guys know this girl better than I do. I have also started parking in another hidden area here at work so she won't stop by. "she has a habbit of doing this." I also plan to park in a totally different place when I go to class because she knows my schedule and if she wants to get in touch she may stop and wait until I come out of class. GUYS, am I doing the right thing here? I really hate to go through all this "avoidance" but I really don't want to see her and DON'T want to be her friend. I actually want her to wonder why in the hell I am not available for her for once. Yeah, I care about her if not I wouldn't give a crap if she stopped by or such. I guess this is the only option her huh? Thanks for the great insight I have been trying to follow your guys advice on this stuff.

 

[Don Gato]

Some key points as I see them:

she said that "she deserves the world and won't stop until she finds that perfect person"

She broke up with you and started seeing someone else after saying this. She doesn't consider you to be "that perfect person". Even if you could get her back, why would you want her after knowing her true opinion of you?

she is a 10 on the HB scales as for looks and body. On the personality side shes a 5-6 at BEST!

Beautiful women are a dime a dozen, but why would you be willing to MARRY someone who only has a 5/6 personality? Her looks attracted you to her, but looks alone will not make you happy for the rest of your life.

she tells me that she still wants to be frineds and wants me to call her

She wants to keep you as a backup, either to use you as an emotional tampon, a boy-toy, or just to have someone jump when she's feeling bored/lonely. Sounds to me like she's an attention wh0re.

how can you ever make someone realize what they lost?

I was in a similar situation recently when I got divorced. I finally came to the conclusion, however, that she'll probably NEVER fully realize what she lost. Don't dwell on this...it'll eat you alive.

I'm telling you, bro...your best bet is to move on. Don't fall for her "LJBF" routine--you already have enough friends. What can she honestly offer you at this point? How can remaining friends with her enhance your life? Only heartache as I see it. I know it's hard (I've been there), but you've got to move on. NEXT!!!

 

[Leykis]

You are doing the right thing. Never doubt that. Never give an inch. Your silence will be the loudest message you can give. She has showed a low intrest level. She is not the one. Harsh but true.

The good side is now you have a chance to read the Bible and begin your transformation. You may not see it now but she just did you the biggest favor of your life. Welcome to Sosuave!

 

[Player_Supreme]

1. Your 27 got dam years old...and you still don't know about that marvelous invention called a "paragraph"?

2. You don't love this ho! You love the way she looks. You said she was a 10 but personality of a 5-6.

3. Nobody loves or wants to marry a bytch. You loved the fact that she looked good to you...it's was only physical love for the way she looked.

4. You were not completely honest in your story. You said she was demanding. That means you gave into her demands to be with her for so long. One word "symp"...you sympathized to her that is why you wanted to marry your whip master. You traded your nutz for a nice looking body. Now if you rip the skin off of her she wouldn't be so fine now would she. If she got disfigured in an accident you wouldn't be clinging to her ugly ass now would you.

5. Grow up kid it wasn't love...get over it. Your also meerly afraid that you will not be able to find a fine assed one like her again that's another reason you chose her as your life-long whip master.

7. Get some other fine assed ho's and let her get jealous for a change instead of you on a board for "men" whinning about how she dumped you. Let her be the one on a womens board posting about her woe's for a change.

8. Get over her...move on....enjoy life....

 

[Slowandeasy]

I am starting to see your points about this.
She is in fact a BIG attention *****. The whole reason we broke up is because " I wasnt giving her the attention and affection that every other guy has given her.
Oh, and by the way I just recieved a phone call from one of my employees. They were on the same job site where she stopped by the other day and her and Mr. New Love pull up to the stop sign in his shiny sports car. Then he sits at the stop sign by our job site, stares over and revs the motor for a few and than flies off. Of course my guys look at them like they are stupid. They said it was pretty funny to say the least. NOW WHY is she and peckerhead doing this crap? Hell, Hes got her now what's this crap all about?

 

[Helter Skelter]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
2. You don't love this ho! You love the way she looks. You said she was a 10 but personality of a 5-6.

3. Nobody loves or wants to marry a bytch. You loved the fact that she looked good to you...it's was only physical love for the way she looked.

Player
it's good to see your posts lately are being kept to under 3 pages long .....congratulations!!

Did one of the moderators speak to you about this?

I like your short posts, because I don't need an interpreter(Pimp to english translater) to figure out what your saying. LOL

Every once in a while you say something intelligent too. Good advice Player.

 

[Slowandeasy]

I just didn't understand the whole drive by and rev shat. When I meet a new girl I spend my time focusing on US and not her ex and blah, blah, blah,. I am sure she thought my guys would call me and I would call her when I found this out. You know what I STILL AINT CALLING!!!!!!!!!!
She was even stupid enough to tell me that her and her new love talk about me all the time? WTF> Why would you sit and talk about your ex all the time with your new love of your life.
This crap sure does confuse me. Without you guys I would have done been on the phone calling her telling her to knock the shat off!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks a bunch keep the advice coming

 

[Don Gato]

Sounds like your ignoring her is getting to her. She's used to you being there and kissing her @ss whenever she wanted. She wants you to be all sad and heartbroken. Now that you've shown her you don't need her, she doesn't like it. So now she's trying to make you jealous by flaunting her new c0ck in front of you. Childish and stupid. Just keep in mind that she WANTS you to get p!ssed--she wants to get a rise out of you. Don't let it get to you. Laugh it off and say "good riddance".

You don't need that bullsh!t in your life. You're better than that. Move on. The best revenge is living well. Go out and meet a new HB8 that has an 8-personality as well. Don't do it to make her jealous, but because you've realized you're better off without her. She fvcked up by letting you go. She actually did you a favor because she proved to you that she wasn't worthy of YOU. In the immortal words of the bible---you're the prize to be won! Don't let her convince you otherwise.