Here's Why You "Still Can't Get Girls"

SinJester

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I'm not singling anyone out but I constantly see threads along the lines of:

"Hey guys. I'm good looking, smart, funny and somewhat popular. Why am I still not getting girls?"

I am going to say that 9 times out of 10 it is because you aren't trying enough! You can't just go and work on yourself and then expect girls to fall into your lap. I'm afraid it doesn't work like that. If you want girls and want to get good with girls you need to get out there and start practising! I don't care if you are good at sport and play the guitar, that's not necessarily going to help you when it comes to getting a girlfriend.

The first thing you have to do is just to get girls into your life. Even if you aren't actively trying to get with a girl there is always a small chance that a girl will fall for you and make a move. Even if girls are just friends they will give you rep and they will have other girl friends. If you are always busy doing fun stuff with guys, working on yourself etc you won’t be able to meet a girl no matter how awesome you are. Hang out with some girls and see your chances dramatically increase. I don’t know about you but most of the guys I know who have a girlfriend hand out with a lot of girls.

After that if you actually want a girlfriend or a hookup you need to make a move. You can't just sit there thinking you should have a girl because of reason X or trait Y, if you don't go out there and try it is all wasted. You can't get good with girls unless you try. Your traits may make you more attractive but they don't get you any action directly. If you work on making yourself a great guy in a bunch of ways but never go out socially then you social skills with be lacking. On the other hand if all you do is go out then you might be shallow and lacking depth in your life. There should be a balance.

I know you may find making a move scary, and you might not know what to do. It's the same for all of us. I’ve been through it and I still go through it. However that's not going to change and you aren't going to get a girl unless you actually try. Sure, there are some guys who get lucky and girls fall into their laps, and some guys attract girls magnetically, but if you are on here chances are you aren't there yet. In any case the guys that this happens to still get out there. Most guys that end up with girls are the ones who are prepared to go out and try, even if what they do appears to be AFC. Even the guys who luckily land a girl will have no idea what to do, so they will be screwed if their girlfriend breaks up with them. Take some risks and you will be way better off than most guys!

I personally believe that any action is better than no action. Too many guys are too caught up in acting like a DJ all the time rather than getting out there. If you want to be the perfect DJ constantly you will be scared of making a mistake and won’t take any action. Maybe I'm just projecting because it's happened to me. Even if you are in the younger grades in high school and 'ask a girl to be your girlfriend', doing that is a lot better than doing nothing because the guys on this forums tell you it won’t work. Experience tells you what works for you. What works will be different for everyone, so the DJ Bible should be treated as a guidebook not a set of rules.

Also keep in mind that no matter how good you look on paper girls will always go with what they feel. If you can't make her feel you won’t get her even if you seem perfect. All the guys that are good with women can do this. The most important things are to be comfortable and sexual, everything else comes naturally and easily after that. If you aren't getting action you are probably struggling with one if those. Always landing in the friends zone is almost always due to a lack of being sexual, regardless of what the surface looks like (e.g. talking about your feelings, doing stuff for her, whatever the DJ Bible tells you not to do). If you aren't comfortable with a girl she won't be comfortable with you. If you aren't there don't be scared of taking action, because that's the only way you will get there.

If you are wondering why you aren't getting any girls think, how many you asked out this week? If you haven't been doing anything then just go out and try. If you do that and it still doesn't get you anywhere THEN come back here and ask for advice. If you want to know exactly what to do before you try anything, you will never get anywhere. Even rejection is a good thing.

Come on guys. Just TRY!
 

yungahdubz

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I know you said you not singling anyone out, but for some reason I can't help but feel as though this post is directed somewhat at me :p .

Just messing, cheers for this.

Going to a party day after tomorrow so I'll apply this. I feel like i'm socially adept, but just a ***** lol.

Cheers.
 

jeffthechef

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good post that seems to be most peoples problems...i kinda have it
there are some things i want to try now..i have the dj mentality for the most part but i haven't been using it much...
my attitude confidence and aura (lack of better word) have been better and more alpha

i think i'll start saying hi to those girls that you know are checking you out but to shy to say anything...there's this one girl hb 8.7...tight body..anyways...i'm outside this classroom once a week at the same time..and she has a class inside...she always walks past me 4 times within a foot as she passes by and maintains eye contact...only thing is i never say hi..i assume she'll initiate cause i'm that damn sexy..but sadly...guys have to do the approaching

summary...good post...effort is all you need..and honestly it's not even effort..say hi to that girl checking you out...start a conversatino as you wait for class or walk to class etc....hang out on the weekend..do hwk with a girl if you need to study a little..
 

SomethingClever

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Great post. I agree with jeff, this is probably most people's problem. They go out into to the world thinking girls should be raining on them. They expect girls to make moves on them. But you can't get something from nothing. It's the tragedy of Feminism. Like Tyler Durden said in Fight Club, "We are a generation of men raised by women..."

Not to sound gay, but i think Miley Cyrus was right when she sang that song, "Life's what you make it"
 

intrextrovert

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Good post man! I know lots of guys including myself have trouble with *****ing out sometimes.

I get more attraction going when I just screw around and don't give a **** than when I try tbh. I just can't seem to get attraction when I actually try too much. My new plan is don't give a **** until I get attraction then go for it.

Which brings me to another problem: I usually tease girls to hell, and get attraction w/ that. However, when i'm going for a girl that is shy/not particularly interested/not talking too much, should I tease/specifically talk to her as well? Even if I maintained the attitude it seems like that would be showing too much interest to engage a girl while she's being introverted and there's other people to talk to.
 
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