Her boss is hitting on her

[STR8UP]

Ahhh...the drama never ceases....

So what would you do if a girl you were seeing has a boss that wants to get in her pants?

At first she thought it was innocent and friendly (everyone else tells her otherwise) but today he asked he to go for coffee. She thought he meant for HER to go get it, but after she agreed she found out it he wanted her to go with him. She didn't want coffee, and he was only going to get it for himself, so it wasn't like he needed her to help him carry it. She called me from his car in disbelief telling me that now she believes what everyone was saying!

This is only the icing on the cake. He has thrown all kinds of odd things out like asking her what her favorite flowers are and saying "I need to take a mental note". He showed up at the club we were partying at a few weeks ago and asks her every weekend where she is going.....he even tried to suggest that she invite him to her house for dinner! (That happened yesterday and was pretty inappropriate if you ask me)

He hasn't done anything that would really get him in trouble at work, besides the dinner thing....I dunno. I told her he is feeling her out to see if she bites before he lays it on the line.

She mentions to him the fact that she is involved, and I told her she needs to keep it up to reinforce the fact that she isn't interested.

So what else can she do to give him the hint?

 

[DJ Jeff]

Get me a ski mask, and brass knuckles...problem solved.

Why doesn't she tell him straight out that she doesn't want anything to do with him, or if there is somebody at her office above the boss, go to that person, and let them know whats going on.

 

[NMMWCR]

Document, document, document.

And then take it to the HR director. Make that take COPIES to the HR director. Take the originals to a lawyer if that doesn't fix it. This ******* needs a good swift kick in the teeth.

 

[WaterTiger]

Your lady's boss is begging for a lawsuit! She needs to not only document but start talking to HIS boss about things like: "SEXUAL HARASSMENT", "HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT" and if he's actually following her to the clubs she goes to???? This sick ba$tard is "STALKING" her! On the good side, the last suit like this in San Francisco was settled for 8.2 million dollars. This guy needs to have his head examined. He's setting up his company for a HUGE law suit. Don't sit back and hope this goes away.

 

[sux2bu]

Originally posted by STR8UP
Ahhh...the drama never ceases....

So what would you do if a girl you were seeing has a boss that wants to get in her pants?

I WOULD LOVE TO BE IN YOUR POSITION!! I LIVE FOR THIS $HIT!!

Dont intervene just yet... Let is slowly build and HAVE YOUR G/F SET HIM UP! Then walk into her place of work someday and TKOB! Have fun with it! Whatever you do, don't get mad or lose your cool. Just nonchalantly walk in the same room one day (take a day of from work if need be), go into the room where he's at and if she's there too; so much the better. Look at him and say, "Hey, I heard through the grape vine that you're trying to move in on MY women.." - Go ballistic on him and use your imagination! "You want to *uck her? Is that is??" This should defuse the hole situation without fists flying. If worse comes to worse, your g/f may have to quit her job; she shouldn't have to though!

 

[NewMan]

Get her to document it and take it to HR - thats one option....


The other....


Plan to go to a club or bar... have her mention it (if he asks) - make sure your at the club. When he turns up and starts harassing her, thats when you step in and kick his ass.

This is golden.

I love a##holes like this.....

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

STR8UP, this girl of yours is playing with you in a bad way. This guy might be legitimately interested in her or whatever, but that's not the point. Girls have a million and one ways of letting a guy know that she's not interested, boss or not, and she keeps telling you about all this stuff. She's stringing him along, not quite rejecting him but not quite being accepting of his advances.

You want to know what this is all about? Look:

She mentions to him the fact that she is involved

Involved with you. She's not just mentioning it to him. She's also mentioning it to you. She is trying to lock you down to a definite answer. Are we "involved", or aren't we?

and I told her she needs to keep it up

This is music to her ears.

She's also a drama queen. She feeds off drama. She NEEDS drama. She has a long distance boyfriend, but then she has you, and the drama is in how forbidden it is. Then the long distance boyfriend is coming back to town, and the drama lies in the inevitable (which it really isn't) predicament she finds herself in... the epic clash of past and present. Then, the boss is hitting on her, which is just a teeming mess of drama.

Proceed with caution.

 

[CLOONEY]

****, tell me about it, my current girlfriend is a model, and the guy that runs the whole show loves her!! DAMN man, he picks her up every day from Uni, and drops her off every night after work, this time she arrived home like 2 hours late, and even her parents were worried, cause they were calling her and she didnt answer her phone, WTF, well I know she aint doing sh*t and this guy already has a girlfirnd, one of the other models, but still, this sh*t pis*es me off too. Well I have my own life also, so I am not really worrying tooo much.

Try to relax, tell her to tell him straight and stop winging about it to u.

Good luck!!

 

[sAxyguy83]

I like the thought of documenting, then giving one copy to HR and one to a lawyer, and make sure to tell HR about the other copy. They'll toss him out as quickly as they can.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
STR8UP, this girl of yours is playing with you in a bad way. This guy might be legitimately interested in her or whatever, but that's not the point. Girls have a million and one ways of letting a guy know that she's not interested, boss or not, and she keeps telling you about all this stuff. She's stringing him along, not quite rejecting him but not quite being accepting of his advances.

You want to know what this is all about? Look:

She mentions to him the fact that she is involved

Involved with you. She's not just mentioning it to him. She's also mentioning it to you. She is trying to lock you down to a definite answer. Are we "involved", or aren't we?

and I told her she needs to keep it up

This is music to her ears.

She's also a drama queen. She feeds off drama. She NEEDS drama. She has a long distance boyfriend, but then she has you, and the drama is in how forbidden it is. Then the long distance boyfriend is coming back to town, and the drama lies in the inevitable (which it really isn't) predicament she finds herself in... the epic clash of past and present. Then, the boss is hitting on her, which is just a teeming mess of drama.

Proceed with caution.

ding ding ding, we have a winner, believe you me chicks have a thousand and one ways of letting guys know access denied.
all these guys starting to put on the knight armour in her honour
In todays times with all the laws placed on this kind of thing in the work place, she is most definately NOT some kind of victim.
hell her loser boss is the one who would most likely get his balls handed to him if he continued with this , she knows this aswell as he does.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Originally posted by sAxyguy83
I like the thought of documenting, then giving one copy to HR and one to a lawyer, and make sure to tell HR about the other copy. They'll toss him out as quickly as they can.

Don't be naive.

They may or may not toss him out as quickly as they can. It depends on the HR department. Many are spineless @ss-kissers---they like shuffling papers and being chirpy and friendly without doing much work--go to conferences occasionally...

Others take it seriously and--having been burned by one lawsuit in the past, will either play by the book and do what they're supposed to do or will try everything (legal and not legal) to "make it go quietly away". That may include making your GFs life unpleasant. If they're good, they can do this without overtly breaking the law.

And maybe HR takes it seriously, but a director or VP or CEO doesn't take it that way (all too common occurence.) HR knows who signs the checks. HR will (I've seen this repeatedly..) quietly agree with the woman that she's being harrassed and discriminated but will still pull the crap that the VP or CEO directs to be done against her. Why? The HR Director and the HR manager both have a mortgage and a nice car and stock options vesting as we speak and perks and conferences to go to in Mazatlan that could all end if they took your GFs side. They take almost 1.2 seconds to think about it. Almost that long.

Yes--document document document it. She may have to say something directly to him in a pleasant but firm manner. He may make her life difficult after that. She may have to go to HR and mention that he's not taking a hint and maybe they can give him a hint (this wakes them up--if they can be woken up...)

You won't know what will work until you try it. She should prepare to leave the job if the company is run by a bunch of unreconstructed neanderthals.

Last word: even if she is right and the company gets the guy to back off, she can get quietly smeared by everyone wondering if she is manipulative or can't handle the rough-n-tumble of the work place.

All that is not fair, but there it is.

 

[STR8UP]

Yes, I know women have plenty of ways to let a guy know they aren't interested. The thing is, according to her he always has a joking tone when he suggests something. That along with the fact that he hasn't blatantly crossed the line.

So now it is at the point where he is getting bolder, asking her when she is going to bring him to her house for dinner, inviting himself to go places with her and such. Up until now she thought it was funny but lately I can tell she is getting annoyed.

I told her to keep her eyes open and if her job is affected she needs to seek recourse.

 

[backbreaker]

Considering:

1) i am a boss and I hit on my employees in a playful manner every once in a while

2) 50% of all women have fantisies of sleeping with of their boss.

3) She is actually telling you and hasn't told him to stop

I think she is actually enjoying it. Maybe I am wrong, I actually like you and hope I am wrong ,but I have seen it too often, and I know women. If you think it's wrong, be a man, go up there and have a man to man with him.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by STR8UP
I told her to keep her eyes open and if her job is affected she needs to seek recourse.

listen to yourself...your giving her the exact supplication that she wants to hear

a week ago werent you telling her that you didnt care if she hooked up with the ex-BF?

look how things have turned upside down

tellin her eyes open?? what do you really think thats going to do

you already know by the way that she discussed the situation that she doesnst want him and it is quite obvious that she wants you (lets just hope im not her new boss cause then you are really screwed )

stop worryin so damn much and jus relax. joke around and tell her that maybe she should go out with her boss

 

[sux2bu]

Originally posted by backbreaker
Considering:


2) 50% of all women have fantisies of sleeping with of their boss.

I think you got your stats mixed up... I'd say 50% of woman/men dream of putting a bullet in their bosses' head.

 

[dionysius_d]

Its very rarely the guys fault!!

I can't believe you guys here are talking about belting that guy who's interesting.. and you all are trying to steal women also!!


As for the girl in question.. i would have no time for a girl who enjoys baiting guys and also explaining her "tough situations" to her bf.

"she believes what everyone is saying".. yeah and she's lovin it too..

Don't get caught in this dumb game.

 

[DJLiquid]

Originally posted by dionysius_d
Its very rarely the guys fault!!

I can't believe you guys here are talking about belting that guy who's interesting.. and you all are trying to steal women also!!


As for the girl in question.. i would have no time for a girl who enjoys baiting guys and also explaining her "tough situations" to her bf.

"she believes what everyone is saying".. yeah and she's lovin it too..

Don't get caught in this dumb game.

I agree with this man...if your GF was truly loyal to you...she would've stopped his advances a long time ago...it seems she enjoys the attention that she is getting from her boss as well as her co-workers...

-DJLiquid

 

[thissucks003]

She should have nipped this in the bud along time ago. But most people are very weak when it comes to confrontation.

Since the boss seems to be getting bolder and bolder in his approaches, she definitely needs documentation to cover her azz in case he uses his power as a boss to fire her for whatever reason. I recommend buying a digital voice recorder that tapes his advances. When it comes to sexual harrassment, you need proof, or esle it becomes a he said/she said kind of thing which leads to nowhere. But she needs to make sure that she rebuffs his advances on the tape and how it makes her unconfortable when he does this. Let him use his own words to hang himself.

TS

 

[PRMoon]

Don't do anything rash simply tell her to reinforce the Idea to him that she has a boyfriend, namely you. Other then that everything else is really touch and could cause the situation to get severe quickly. You don't want to show up at her job and tell her boss off, that could make you look bad and get her fired. Likewise don't tell her to inform her boss to keep his dirty mits off her because then the harrasment really begins and she'll probably end up quitting.
For the most part you want to avoid a court case or something ugly like that. You want her to say something along the lines of
"I understand your attraction to me and I find the complement very flattering but I'm involved with someone I care about and your advances upon me are making him very uncomfortable so please, lets not persue this anyfurther."

Wow, its almost like I've heard that somewhere before...Oh well it should work and he'll think its very professional so he should stop his advances. If it gets worse from there then she should leave her job. Lawsuits are the last thing that should be on her mind make sure she knows that.

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by thissucks003
She should have nipped this in the bud along time ago. But most people are very weak when it comes to confrontation.

Exactly. She is all of 5ft. nothing, 90lbs, only 21 years old, a bit on the reserved side.....and we're talking about her BOSS who by default is an authority figure. And she ISN'T my girlfriend, BTW.

I do see what a lot of you are saying. Believe me, the thought that she is enjoying this has crossed my mind (but what woman in the world DOESN'T like to get hit on?). Thing is it can be a touchy situation when it is coming from someone that you have to see everyday who also signs your paycheck.

Here's the latest-

She called me up earlier this week to ask if I would join her and her female friend and one of her male coworkers for dinner this Friday. She is trying to hook her friend up with this guy.

I agreed, but the next day she tells me that now ALL of her coworkers will be there, including her boss. Something about one of the other guys talking his way in and the boss and the rest of them inviting themselves...whatever.

I told her I wasn't interested in that proposition. She didn't take it too well. I told her that hanging out with a bunch of other dudes that want to get in her pants wasn't my cup of tea.

I told her that although HER intentions might be innocent that it isn't a good idea to fuel the fire by seeing this guy outside of work even if it is with the rest of her coworkers. In all fairness it sounds like he invited himself, but she needs to know where to draw the line.

Anyways...she said she isn't comfortable going without me and wants me there so maybe he will finally get the picture.

Fair enough, she's buying, so whatever. We'll give them a good show