I was talking to a young filmmaker I know and he was telling me how he's been suffering from crippling anxiety. So I asked what was he so worried about. Of course, a girl. He tells me how he picked her up at a pizza place in a SWPL part of town. They talked and had a few beers and went back to her place. From that point on they were inseperable for the next two weeks, until one day out of th blue she says "I need some space". He said he's been devestated.
We chopped up game about how women are, and even though he knows that jerks get women, and women like guys that use them and that this girl had a history of dating abusive *******s, he would show her he was different by being nice to her. And of course it didn't work. He says he just wants to be in a loving relationship. I gave him the same advice we preach around here to which he said, I know I know, but why does it have to be that way? I asked him, why does the sun have to be so damn hot? It just is, either accept it or suffer like he's doing now. I told him about how I used to be like him when I was younger and what lessons I learned from my mistakes.
I told him, he's young, the best things he can do is to concentrate on his career as a filmmaker, take this time in his youth to get his act together and to get on the road to where he wants to be. Focus on his finances and spending time with his family. Have fun with his friends. All of these things are more important than women. He has a long life ahead and they never stop making women.
I told him to work out, go exercise, it will take some of that anxiety and stress away. And to stop taking women so serious. In fact, don't worry about settling down until his late 20s to early 30s after he has his career underway. Finance before romance. Just have fun with girls. If they leave, they leave. If they stay, they stay. Don't give up your dreams for a woman EVER. (he would stay at her place and cancel shoots to spend more time with her because she would beg him to stay.) I told him to let her ask for a realtionship, let her wonder and frett and do the heavy lifting. He said he didn't want to play games. I told him its not a game, its just how it works.
He seemed receptive to what I had to say, but he's 22 so you know...youth being wasted on the young and all. I hope it works out for him. When he left he had a smile on his face and felt better, I think he just wanted someone to talk to about it.
We chopped up game about how women are, and even though he knows that jerks get women, and women like guys that use them and that this girl had a history of dating abusive *******s, he would show her he was different by being nice to her. And of course it didn't work. He says he just wants to be in a loving relationship. I gave him the same advice we preach around here to which he said, I know I know, but why does it have to be that way? I asked him, why does the sun have to be so damn hot? It just is, either accept it or suffer like he's doing now. I told him about how I used to be like him when I was younger and what lessons I learned from my mistakes.
I told him, he's young, the best things he can do is to concentrate on his career as a filmmaker, take this time in his youth to get his act together and to get on the road to where he wants to be. Focus on his finances and spending time with his family. Have fun with his friends. All of these things are more important than women. He has a long life ahead and they never stop making women.
I told him to work out, go exercise, it will take some of that anxiety and stress away. And to stop taking women so serious. In fact, don't worry about settling down until his late 20s to early 30s after he has his career underway. Finance before romance. Just have fun with girls. If they leave, they leave. If they stay, they stay. Don't give up your dreams for a woman EVER. (he would stay at her place and cancel shoots to spend more time with her because she would beg him to stay.) I told him to let her ask for a realtionship, let her wonder and frett and do the heavy lifting. He said he didn't want to play games. I told him its not a game, its just how it works.
He seemed receptive to what I had to say, but he's 22 so you know...youth being wasted on the young and all. I hope it works out for him. When he left he had a smile on his face and felt better, I think he just wanted someone to talk to about it.
), is to be just enough of an arsehole to satisfy that pattern while slowly turning her around mentally, one degree at a time.