Help

[clifford]

Long story short....

Got out of a 6 year relationship. Met somebody a few months later who I instantly hit it off with. She dug me and baked me cookies and such. Overnight she goes from this great girl to the ice queen? I did open my mouth and spill the truth about me and my past (nothing real bad). I applied the DJ method and didnt call for 4 days once I started getting the cold shoulder. Finally called tonight and nada. Is she gone and did I totally f this up? Or are there any strategies to fix this?

 

[Derek Flint]

Don't blame yourself - she probably met someone else or got back together with an Ex.

Move on and meet other women.

Anything you do to try to "fix" it will probably drive her further away from you.

Ironically, she'll probably come back after you meet someone else and stop caring about her.

 

[Big Pappy]

Since the beginning of time, women have always been famous for revealing more about who they are, their past etcetera, hoping that the man will reveal more about himself. When he does, they occasionally lose interest.

People are different. With some girls, you could have given all your children away to a medical college for scientific experiments and they would not have given a care about it. Others would have internally cringed and written you off on the spot. Your past is YOUR past. The only real areas that women might be super concerned about is criminal behaviour or child abandonment. And if either of those two areas apply, shame on you, learn from your mistakes and forgive yourself, then move on.

In the future, don't disclose your past until you are convinced she will be a part of your future.

 

[PocoDiablo]

Even if you could save this, why would you want to?

Seriously. Think about it. You told her the truth and this happened? I'd be THANKFUL I found out now.

 

[cave dweller]

past

Hey,

You blew this one. Write her off.


Don't talk so damnnnn much about your past (they really don't want to hear it).


Just mention (if and when she asks) you were in a 6 year relationship and it didn't work out and then DROP IT.

Tell them "Sometimes it just does not work out."

BTW, you bored her with the past.......

cave dweller

 

[clifford]

No, I think Mr. Flint nailed it. Thanks for the insight.

I just sent her an email saying I figured out what was going on and the issue with the penis between us.

Got real weird all of a sudden then didnt want me instant messaging her at work while she was working with the guy from the Dallas office. Said she didnt want people to know about her personal life. Yeah right.

 

[smoke city]

one thing I've learned:
Especially at the beginning, women don't want to know you--they want to be curious about you.

 

[cave dweller]

move on

Drop her and move on.

cave dweller

 

[disciple]

Best to move on and see if there are some good lessons to be learned from this experience.

 

[Eileen]

Originally posted by PocoDiablo
Even if you could save this, why would you want to?

Seriously. Think about it. You told her the truth and this happened? I'd be THANKFUL I found out now.

That's good stuff Poco. Simple but so true.

 

[Ricky]

Guys this is very interesting.

I was just on a 4th date last night with a girl and she started peppering me with questions about myself because she has told me alot about herself and I have told her very little.

She even had the nerve to say that she would not want to date me anymore if I don't open up to her. I was kind of pissed.

Unfortunately she also gave me more information than I needed to know about her but I won't go into that.

 

[Wannabe_DonJuan]

Yeah, lately I've noticed on past few dates, she is wanting to know more about me. I've decided to give a few hints but nothing more. I haven't been given any ultimatum yet.

Just give her a hint, and if she pushes it, say the past isn't important, but the future is.

 

[clifford]

So the plot thickens on this ongoing saga.

She doesnt have a boyfriend. Her reasoning was - she feels like I drink too much. And she is just squirelly by nature. I was wondering what a tall, blonde haired, green eyed, attractive 33 year old was doing single. I think she has intimacy issues.

So anyways we are at a standoff. I havent replied to her (but I get the feeling she wants me to). I looked at her personal site every couple of days and I know she franticly searching. I can tell by the level of activity and new pictures and headings. I search the same site and you are in bad shape if you are a 30 something girl, us 30 something guys are in the drivers seat. She is headed home to the east coast tonight, and I am sure she is dreading the "why havent you found anybody" talk from the parents. Should I send her a thanksgiving day hail mary pass e-card, or should I just write her off.

Honestly guys she is a real gem, I don't want to be AFC, what have I got to lose rigth?

 

[Ricky]

Don't write her off at all.

But do know if she is online or something she is probably getting alot of offers.

You can do best by not calling or e-mailing too much, although an e-mail here or there is easy.

 

[clifford]

No, trust me I know what my competition is and I blow them out of the water. I went on 10 dates with her and no action. Alot of making out and groping, but no action. Most guys of my caliber in Los Angeles won't tolerate that. Heck most guys are pigs and with the guidance of you wise ones on here hopefully I can become one.

So do I send her the e-card or am is that AFC move?

Update - I just sent it. I hope that wasnt a chump move. Guys I need some pointers here. I am treating the girls I have been dealing with lately as part of my DJ education. So any input will be greatly appreciated.