so basically theres this beautiful lady that im talking to now. but im just your average man not a DJ like you guys here. iv'e read the DJ bible and thats probably what help me even to get this far. ive known this girl for a while now. but basically she has a EX boyfriend whose shes " not ready to let go till shes sure they are done" so i stepped in and started to talk to her. now i know shes naturally flirtatious and shes constantly hitting on me. BUT she never calls me just texts me and when i called her ( ONCE ) our converstaion was only for like 5 minutes. now she invited me to a party TONIGHT and she's been begging for me to go. even tried to tempt me saying that if i go she'll snuggle up and "kiss" me and stuff. so should i go? or flake and make another app showing her im busy? and if i do go what should i do? i would really appreciate the help guys!
help with a date.
- Thread starter sknudheat
- Start date
how old is she?
i dont know many 25+ year old women who tell a man 'come to my party and i'll snuggle up with you and kiss you."
this sounds more like something a 16 year old girl would say.
as for your problem - you wouldn't have one if you were spinning plates. you are way to worried about how this woman sees you, worried about failure, etc.
if you had three other women on the go your attitude would be to stop by the party, see if she delivers on what she was saying she would, and enjoy the night. if she's just an attention wh*re and doesn't deliver on what she said she would, you'd simply drop her out of rotation and focus on the other women you had on the go who were giving you what you wanted.
ironically, this strategy is EXACTLY the strategy that she is using. she's got her ex simmering in the background while she goes out and flirts with other guys. she's probably got at least another 2 guys just like you in her rotation.
she's spinning plates. you are a plate to her. if you wobble and fall off and break, no big deal, she'll just focus on the other plates.
i dont know many 25+ year old women who tell a man 'come to my party and i'll snuggle up with you and kiss you."
this sounds more like something a 16 year old girl would say.
as for your problem - you wouldn't have one if you were spinning plates. you are way to worried about how this woman sees you, worried about failure, etc.
if you had three other women on the go your attitude would be to stop by the party, see if she delivers on what she was saying she would, and enjoy the night. if she's just an attention wh*re and doesn't deliver on what she said she would, you'd simply drop her out of rotation and focus on the other women you had on the go who were giving you what you wanted.
ironically, this strategy is EXACTLY the strategy that she is using. she's got her ex simmering in the background while she goes out and flirts with other guys. she's probably got at least another 2 guys just like you in her rotation.
she's spinning plates. you are a plate to her. if you wobble and fall off and break, no big deal, she'll just focus on the other plates.
She says she has an ex that she's not willing to let go of? Man, isn't it amazing how brazen women are? That's because most guys will accept any behavior from a woman, just so they can have a chance of getting some... Imagine a guy saying that to a woman and then inviting her out? THAT would go over so big, LOL!
Back to your sitch... "not ready to let go till shes sure they are done" could mean "until she's gotten a good hold of the next branch". Trust me, she's sure. I'd say the Ex is out, or she'd be swinging back to him and not inviting you anywhere.
I think you not calling her much and when you did it was only for five minutes and not agreeing readily to her invites, actually works to your benefit in giving her room to pursue you, which she has by flirting with you, sending texts and inviting you to this party.
And the fact is she's inviting you and not the ex, so, go. Don't flake! But don't go with snuggles and kissing her in mind. Go there, meet other women, have fun, flirt with others, converse, mingle, float around without her. In other words, keep being hard to get. This is why you appeal to her.
Back to your sitch... "not ready to let go till shes sure they are done" could mean "until she's gotten a good hold of the next branch". Trust me, she's sure. I'd say the Ex is out, or she'd be swinging back to him and not inviting you anywhere.
I think you not calling her much and when you did it was only for five minutes and not agreeing readily to her invites, actually works to your benefit in giving her room to pursue you, which she has by flirting with you, sending texts and inviting you to this party.
And the fact is she's inviting you and not the ex, so, go. Don't flake! But don't go with snuggles and kissing her in mind. Go there, meet other women, have fun, flirt with others, converse, mingle, float around without her. In other words, keep being hard to get. This is why you appeal to her.
CORVETTE06
Senior Don Juan
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you need more confidence. you're just as good as any of us here.sknudheat said:im just your average man not a DJ like you guys here.
and yes i'd go and have a good time
have fun