Help W/ Situation

[joverby]

As some of you already know I was having troubles (at the end of a relationship) w/ my girlfriend. Three months and a week or so now. For a couple or more weeks she has had a really low IL.

As of a week especially it was JUST me initiating contact. And a few days ago we hung out and I could tell it was especially low IL. Very minimal contact and kissing.

So for the past few days I didn't initiate contact at all. neither did she. But last night she texted me "What the hell is going on? I don't know what kind of relationship involves peroids of not speaking."

I still didn't respond back to it. I was thinking of just doing an honest, well you stopped calling, texting and asking me to hang out so I figured you might need a little space.

That's about the only idea I have so far.

 

[BadNews]

Some women think (either conciously or subconciously) that the man should do most of the work. Some women take this to the extreme. Its hard to give advice with so little information (I posted in your other thread as well), so you'll probably have to figure things out for yourself dude. It is POSSIBLE, that shes used to the guy doing most of the work in the beginning, and since you've backed off a little bit...she thinks YOUR interest level is low. Which may frustrate/scare her, and cause her to reciprocate. This is just one idea. There is a difference between being needy, and going after what you want. Don't try to "play games," as this rarely works out. Don't over analyze the situation, or little things she says/does, or doesnt say/do. Just go with your gut. The fact that she has SAID something to you about the minimal contact between you guys, leads me to believe she is probably feeling the same way you are. Quit thinking so hard and just have fun with the girl. Good luck buddy!

 

[joverby]

Thanks dude, I think you may be right. Because I did notice her best friend does make all the plans w/ her. Hopefully I didn't **** up. Just sent her that text, depending on how she answers going to hang out with her, and depending on how that goes going to have a talk w/ her. IDC if thats not fun or w/e, sick of not knowing where this is going.

 

[BadNews]

Thanks dude, I think you may be right. Because I did notice her best friend does make all the plans w/ her. Hopefully I didn't **** up.

QUIT WORRYING! LOL!

The girl I'm currently seeing (check the first post I ever made on these forums for reference if you like) I went through the EXACT same situation. She's not much for initiating contact (or at least wasn't), eventually I had to make a decision...either I was going to let that bother me to the point where I'd give up on her, ruin the (very fresh) relationship, or just say **** it and go after what I wanted.

I chose the last option...and so far it has paid off BIG time. Quit over analyzing everything, just go for what you want...and HAVE FUN WITH IT! If you get burned in the end...who cares, just remember if she couldn't see all you had to offer, her loss anyways right?!!!

If you're going to persue her, there is nothing wrong with that (actually persuing her), and many many MANY women think a guy SHOULD persue them. They think if a guy DOESN'T persue them, they're not interested. If you are GOING to persue her, just try to keep in mind the difference between being needy/clingy and persuing. It doesn't sound like you have an issue with this, so I wouldn't even worry about it in your case.

Go get her dude!

 

[BadNews]

Thanks dude, I think you may be right. Because I did notice her best friend does make all the plans w/ her. Hopefully I didn't **** up. Just sent her that text, depending on how she answers going to hang out with her, and depending on how that goes going to have a talk w/ her. IDC if thats not fun or w/e, sick of not knowing where this is going.

Ohhh, I wouldn't recommend "talking" necessarily. If SHE brings the topic up again (like she did in the text) then you could mention something (note: MENTION, not TALK your face off). If you REALLY want to talk because this bothers you SO much, you could say something like "So what was that text about? Whats goin on?" Get HER talking...YOU don't want to be the one initiating the "where is this going" conversation...that isn't a good play. If you get on the subject, casually mention how she never seems to call/text you..and it makes you wonder whats going on in her head AND THEN STOP! Don't spill your guts, don't say anymore!

 

[powpow]

my honest suggestion, bro, is to just give her some c0ck and things will be all better. no kidding, this just about always fixes the problem, at least temporarily.

 

[joverby]

Well, I didn't reply to that text that night.

I texted her the next day (yesterday) Just told her the truth , said I noticed I was the only one initiating contact and I back up cause I didn't know if she needed space or what. She said that she sent me a text(the day before) that I ignored so she got pissed and she thought it was stupid. I never miss texts from anyone but I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

I texted back that I thought it was stupid too and that I wouldnt ignore her on purpose. I wait like an hour and a half, no response. So I call her up, no answer. I was on facebook, she she posts some **** and comments back to people shortly after this.

It pisses me off w/ the level of disrespect. I make the mistake of texting her, just saying that if she's going to be able to put it past her let me know because I deserve an answer.(Yes...yes I know how terrible this sounds, I was just VERY pissed off and frusterated at the entire situation)

No answer at all from that yesterday. So it's been obvious for a while that her feelings arent there, because someone who's willing to just blow someone off like that clearly doesnt respect them / give a **** about them. So I was contemplating sending a text with a few different messages in mind.

One could just be, hey this clearly isn't working out. Another more like IDK what's going on but I thought it was just a small misunderstanding. (probably least effective). Or the continued silent treatment/ wait for her to get back to me.(Don't think this would benefit either of us).

I'm just further frusterated now because it's at a stand still and she wouldnt even respond back to me to either fix it or end it. I just hate having it up in the air.

[Edit]: I guess it's all semantics at this point considering how it's going, the end result is the same for any of those options(well almost the same).