help, quick

[Ian1983]

If a girl i've known says shes ready for a relationship after 6 days, and then I sort of smile and say lets give it time and get her in the car (to drive her home), and then her IL drops to basically 0, wtf do I do. She goes home for a week on friday, and before she was very affectionate via txt and whatnot, but her last text said she was busy and she may call me when she gets back, i reply ...ok. So...do I let her go, or try and catch her before she goes. I really do like this girl, but all along shes said lets take things slow, then the relationship thing after the first offical date. Input, quick ffs

 

[T.T. Boy]

If you're not in any hurry to get into a relationship, then forget about this girl. What she has in mind is pretty obvious.

 

[Ian1983]

Thats the things, I kinda want a relationship, she just took me by surprise. Shes been apparently hurt before, so she said take things slow, then she says that. Makes it worse that the next day I asked if she wanted to go out (to talk), and then on wednesday she said she was busy again, and MAY txt me when she comes back. I'm not sure if I should see her b4 hand or not. I send her a txt saying she was in control of the time table of how we advance, she said blah blah, thx for understanding, your an angel, so i think i have brought this on myself.

 

[Bungo Pony]

Sounds like she's desperate to get married. Run like hell.

 

[Reto]

"relationship". It has many definitions. Chances are, your definition is diferent than hers. She may not be as serious as you thought. Get her to clarify it. he may have just wanted to be exclusive or something.....If she's really into you, she'll stick around.

 

[Ian1983]

yeah, my definition of relationship is quite serious, I'm a intense kinda guy.
So...if she did say this, and I gave one of the worst possible reponses (I thought she thought i was mocking her with the slight smile), and she may have gone off me for the time being. If i leave her to it, and when she comes back, if she really was into me, she should contact me..so I'll not contact her before she goes, as that just might things worse. I have actually already deleted her name from my phone and written her number down in a organiser somewhere, don't want to have 2nd thoughts and txt her when my phones handy now do I.
Her b-day is on wed...do I send her a txt or not (its either 18th or 19th, if i send one and get it wrong, uh oh i think)

 

[Bungo Pony]

Reto is correct. If she really likes you, she'll wait until you're ready for a relationship.

I send her a txt saying she was in control of the time table of how we advance

Ooooh, bad move. When you tell a woman something like this, you're basically telling her "I'm a puppet. Play with me whenever and however you want". You've handed all your power over to her. Now that she's got you wrapped around her finger, she's tossing you away because you're not a challenge. Women like men to take the lead. They like it when a man knows exactly what he's doing. They hate it when the man looks to someone else to make all his decisions - this shows weakness.

When you're in a relationship, the best way to keep it going is to be in control of the relationship (not the woman - there is a difference). You take the relationship at the speed you like, and if she like you, she'll follow willingly.

Learn from this and move on. Don't bother contacting her on (or before) her birthday. She's showing low IL, she doesn't deserve any attention from you.

 

[Reto]

Snail mail her a funny birthday card. I've done it in the past and chicks love it...Just remember, any thing you put in writting, STAYS. You can't go and change it... something vauge, "Just thinking about you on your birthday."...

 

[Ian1983]

Damn....I'll just let her be and see what she does when she comes back.
Don't know her home address, somewhere is wales
I thought I was being wussy about that txt, damn that weak part of my brain, more sparing for me, knock it loose.

Thanks for the posts lads, I'll keep you informed, but at this rate....