Help out an old guy with limited dating experience

[Mazer]

I am a 40 year old male who just started dating again after being in two very long term relationships. I took a break from dating for a few years to focus on my career. Anyway, I met a woman in her mid 30's on a dating site who was previously engaged to one man, broke it off, apparently it was his fault, and then married another man two years later, and was divorced two years later.

We have been on 5 dates and texting back and forth for about 3 months. Sexually, we have done everything but actual sexual intercourse, she is "religious supposedly" so I don't have a problem waiting a bit but She has slept over three times and usually stays until noon the next day. She is always sending me photos of herself, of her parents and of her friends and the stuff they are doing which I find a bit strange so early on. She also sends pics of us together to her best friends.

In the beginning she was hot and cold with the text messaging but after she slept over the first night she was always texting me nonstop.

I asked her what she was doing this weekend and she told me she was going to be away for the weekend, leaving Saturday morning, turns out she didn't leave Saturday morning after all because I live two blocks from her house and drive by it everyday on my way to work and saw her car parked in front on Sunday. She texted me on Saturday telling me that she arrived safely at her destination. She most likely left on Sunday because she starting sending me photos of her trip, which pissed me off. We texted a few times after that and she has gone no contact on me. I decided not to text her again and wait her out to see if she responds. Annoying as ****, even older women play these games, its frustrating.

Should I continue to wait for a response or just man up and move on?

 

[Fzatf]

If she responds go from there, but you should be dating other women in the mean time.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Annoying as ****, even older women play these games, its frustrating.

Should I continue to wait for a response or just man up and move on?

She holds all the power with her "religious" reasoning. You've lost frame by playing into her games as well. My best relations were always enjoyable and rarely made me frustrated or confused. It will continue to be this way, guaranteed. I've been there plenty of times.

5 dates in 3mo? You should be dating other woman instead of being fixated on one. It sounds like you are her emotional plate and there's a possibility she's b*nging someone on the side.

Jump into the bible! Welcome to SS.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

I am a 40 year old male who just started dating again after being in two very long term relationships. I took a break from dating for a few years to focus on my career. Anyway, I met a woman in her mid 30's on a dating site who was previously engaged to one man, broke it off, apparently it was his fault, and then married another man two years later, and was divorced two years later.

We have been on 5 dates and texting back and forth for about 3 months. Sexually, we have done everything but actual sexual intercourse, she is "religious supposedly" so I don't have a problem waiting a bit but She has slept over three times and usually stays until noon the next day. She is always sending me photos of herself, of her parents and of her friends and the stuff they are doing which I find a bit strange so early on. She also sends pics of us together to her best friends.

In the beginning she was hot and cold with the text messaging but after she slept over the first night she was always texting me nonstop.

I asked her what she was doing this weekend and she told me she was going to be away for the weekend, leaving Saturday morning, turns out she didn't leave Saturday morning after all because I live two blocks from her house and drive by it everyday on my way to work and saw her car parked in front on Sunday. She texted me on Saturday telling me that she arrived safely at her destination. She most likely left on Sunday because she starting sending me photos of her trip, which pissed me off. We texted a few times after that and she has gone no contact on me. I decided not to text her again and wait her out to see if she responds. Annoying as ****, even older women play these games, its frustrating.

Should I continue to wait for a response or just man up and move on?

The max you should wait is 3-4 dates. Any more than that and you're wasting your time & effort.

Spin plates. If you've got 2 or 3 women you're seeing, your attractiveness will automatically increase. Women will be DTF. If not, next her or soft next to a different plate.

Read everything at therationalemale.com. He has a post, I believe it's called "wait for it", that speaks to this issue. Any woman who makes you wait any length of time like this is a red flag. It means she isn't truly aroused by you and doesn't see your SMV as High enough.

Always look at what a woman actually does, not what she says.

-Augustus-

 

[zekko]

I asked her what she was doing this weekend and she told me she was going to be away for the weekend, leaving Saturday morning, turns out she didn't leave Saturday morning after all because I live two blocks from her house and drive by it everyday on my way to work and saw her car parked in front on Sunday.

Is it possible someone else drove?

 

[Thorninmyside]

Virginity doesn't grow back so what is she waiting for?

 

[Mazer]

She told me she didn't have sex with her first fiance for two years and her second fiance who she married until the six month mark.

Is it possible someone else drove?

Nope

Anyway, I am on Day 5 of no contact, sucks because she was a 9. I am setting up a date with some other girl this week to get my mind off her. I know, I sound like a beta hahaha who would've thought dating was so difficult. Thanks again.

 

[Trump]

I met a woman in her mid 30's on a dating site who was previously engaged to one man, broke it off, apparently it was his fault, and then married another man two years later, and was divorced two years later.

We have been on 5 dates and texting back and forth for about 3 months. Sexually, we have done everything but actual sexual intercourse, she is "religious supposedly" so I don't have a problem waiting a bit

You have had 1 date every 2.5 weeks for 3 months with a 35+ women. She is religious, was engaged twice, married once, and divorced 2 years later. You have not had sex with her yet after 5 dates.

Come on bro, any man with self respect would kick her to curb after 2.

I asked her what she was doing this weekend and she told me she was going to be away for the weekend, leaving Saturday morning, turns out she didn't leave Saturday morning after all because I live two blocks from her house and drive by it everyday on my way to work and saw her car parked in front on Sunday. She texted me on Saturday telling me that she arrived safely at her destination. She most likely left on Sunday because she starting sending me photos of her trip, which pissed me off. We texted a few times after that and she has gone no contact on me. I decided not to text her again and wait her out to see if she responds.

She's going no contact because you havent given her a reason to contact you.

Annoying as ****, even older women play these games, its frustrating.

Bro that's a naive statement coming from a 40 year old man. You think because she is older she is going to give in to you? Because she is older she is going to have sex with you? Because she is older she won't play games? Bro, this woman's whole goal is to get as much out of you without giving you sex and you are playing along beautifully.

Men, we have to get this idea out of our head that we are rich, movie stars who can have sex with any girl we want at any time.

 

[@Jonanthony]

But to infer from the data... Isn't the dude kinda admitting a renaissance from AFC to the red pill... As previous posters said lessons to be learned n we all know they are learned how...the hard way.... He says he is off to the big world n kudos for that.... Also he may be seeking different objectives ATM ie prospective baby mama blah blah....

 

[sph21]

Bro, I'm 35 and I have/had been dating with 20 and below. I avoid dating women older than 25 because I believe that they've been going through more pain than younger girls.

You have been dating other girls. Which is good. My question is, why did you decided to date this 30ish woman? I hope it's not because she's hot. Just because a woman is hot, that doesn't mean that she is worthy as a partner. Please read from DJ Bible: "The Relationship Begins Before You Meet Her" & "Anti-Dump's Machine (Part III: You BUY a relationship, not BUILD one)" to understand my point.

Most girls love a mature man. Here are some traits that I've been showing to everyone: fun, mysterious, seductive eye contact, trying to always aware of my body language, demand proper respect, lead whenever I have the chance... You get the point. Basically, I always do what this site teaches in DJ Bible.

It's all about your mindset toward life. If you think that your life gets boring as you age, then she'll treat you the same. Women are better than us at reading non verbal cues. So, start there. Fix your unconscious behaviors that repel women from you.

The sole purpose of having a date is to have fun together. That's it. It doesn't have to be complicated. If she doesn't want to go out on a date with you then there's no point of sacrificing your fun for her approval. Move on. We're not supposed to be able to attract every type of girls. If she rejects you, so what? Having no relationship with a girl is better than having an unhealthy one and hoping that you can change her behaviors toward you. By doing that, you're saving yourself from many heartbreaks in the future.

Everyone here but you can see how desperate you are in getting her. Desperation will kill attraction faster than your blink rate. Please read from DJ Bible: "Kill that desperation!". You will crash & burn more if you don't deal with it.

 

[Fruitbat]

I have the opposite issue. A woman who only wants missionary and nothing else, not even rubbing.

I would take foreplay over that all day.

 

[MatureDJ]

Any woman that claims to be a pre-marital virgin loses this argument if she divorces. In any case, I would only allow a very fresh 18-22 year old woman use this argument - and such a woman should be on the "fast-track" to wanting to marry.

 

[MatureDJ]

I have the opposite issue. A woman who only wants missionary and nothing else, not even rubbing.

I would take foreplay over that all day.

There is something to be said about a woman who is comfortable giving a blow- or hand- j0b. I find myself a bit titillated viewing p0rn in the "wifey handj0b" category.

 

[MatureDJ]

Virginity doesn't grow back so what is she waiting for?

The case could be made that it regenerates for a widow. I just think that in any case the benefits of virginity decline quickly; give me a fresh 18 year old like my male ancestors starting from my grandfathers, and I'll do the virgin courting thing.

 

[Thorninmyside]

I know, I sound like a beta hahaha who would've thought dating was so difficult. Thanks again.

It absolutely can be, especially when jumping back in at our age. 4 years ago I got out of my second 6+ year relationship, and since then I've had a different girl every 6-9 months. The turnover is a lot higher in this dating market and you've gotta keep a few saucepans on boil or be left with nothing when your one option becomes the problem she's socially and emotionally conditioned to be.

 

[Fruitbat]

There is something to be said about a woman who is comfortable giving a blow- or hand- j0b. I find myself a bit titillated viewing p0rn in the "wifey handj0b" category.

I've never even considered it a possibility that they wouldn't! Fair enough, when I was fumbling at age 15, but not in 30s.