Help me with my game (long)

[SemperFlyMC]

Bare with my week long story & help an AFC become a PUA. Tell me what I did right/wrong and what I should do now:

I've been occasionally visiting a local bar to establish rapport with the hot bartender there. Last Sunday, I visited, and she wasn't there, but a cute waitress was. I chatted up the new girl, she had a round of mind-erasers with me & my friends and took out her camera to take a picture with us. As I left, I number closed her casually mentioning that we should go for drinks or something. I didn't give her my number though (I was thinking she might be curious to answer an unknown number, and that it would prevent flaking out on a phone call).

2 days later, I went back with a buddy... and remember seeing her there, but then blacked out from too much beer (supposedly I was talking with her blacked out) :\

The next day, wanting to connect the puzzle pieces, and see if I blew it, I called her. She picked up (out of curiosity of the unknown #):

"Hey, is this #girlsname?"
--Yeah, who's this?
"It's So-N-So, from the #barname"
--Oh, hey yeah, I just left school, and am driving. Wasn't going to pick up, but didn't know whose number this was. (It took her a second, but she remembered)
"I'm just calling to apologize, I had a bit much to drink last night, and honestly don't know if I did or said anything stupid last night"
--No, no, you were fine. Don't apologize. You weren't loud or obnoxious. (thank God)
"Okay that's good to hear. I wasn't sure if I had a conversation with you or what, so you just finished teaching?" (she's a sub-teach also)
--Yeah, I have to go to the bar and see if I'm working tonight. I have to run, text me sometime.
"Okay, cool I'll text you later then."

She was friendly on the phone, but seemed rushed, and the conversation only lasted about a minute. 6 hours later, I text her "Hey, whose bar tending tonight? Any cute substitute teachers?" She mentioned she bar tends there as well, and I was trying to be witty instead of sending a boring "hey what's up" text. She didn't ever text back.

Did I f'k this up by blacking out, by apologizing for my actions in a phone call, or sending a questionably witty text? Should I call/text again, or talk to her again in person at the bar.

.................................................

Back to the original hot bartender that I was going there for originally to build rapport with: Last night after dropping in for a drink with friends, we chatted and I found out she and a friend I was there with knew each other from middle school. My friends went downstairs to the other bar, and as I closed my tab, I number closed her saying

Hey, so you & #mutualfriend knew eachother way back hm?
--Yeah, we went to middle school together
Cool, are you going out drinking tomorrow in #thelocalarea?
--Yeah, I'll probably be out around here somewhere.
You should come hang out with "us", what's your number? I'll call and see where you're at so we can all get together tomorrow.

I handed her my phone, got the number, and left.

Do you think, I should number close differently? I feel as if including groups like "us" or "all" makes women less defensive to give a number, but at the same time doesn't fully show my interest or intent. What do you think? Does it even matter?

I'll call her later tonight when I go out again.

I'm not sure if she's seeing the guy-bar tender there or not because I see him frequently give her a pat on the butt, but this could just be friendly co-worker interaction maybe? That's all I've ever seen. Should I even ask or inquire somehow about that? Or just ignore it?

Thanks for reading, any advice is welcomed.

 

[badboyjmm]

Did I f'k this up by blacking out, by apologizing for my actions in a phone call, or sending a questionably witty text? Should I call/text again, or talk to her again in person at the bar.

Yes you did, you didn't have to apologize. Apologize only if its necessary. If you gotta talk to her, make a date. Meeting her at the bar she's working will not accomplish anything.

Do you think, I should number close differently? I feel as if including groups like "us" or "all" makes women less defensive to give a number, but at the same time doesn't fully show my interest or intent. What do you think? Does it even matter?

Yes you should have number close differently. NEVER be passive with a girl. and NEVER plan something as a group when you are trying to get a lay from a girl. You gotta be direct and judge by her reaction.

" Let's meet for drinks, at this place, this time " and wait for the answer.

If you want something out of this, be more direct

Hopefully it helps you a little bit

 

[SemperFlyMC]

Yes, thanks. I think I knew what you were saying, just wanted to confirm it from someone else. Thanks.

Although, I'm not looking for 1 nighters, the rules still apply the same I suppose.

 

[badboyjmm]

Yes, thanks. I think I knew what you were saying, just wanted to confirm it from someone else. Thanks.

Although, I'm not looking for 1 nighters, the rules still apply the same I suppose.

Not a problem man, sometimes you need confirmation. By the way you see what I've put in bold, is just to remind you that you need to be independent of the outcome. Sometimes, you got a girl that you bang the same night or the next day and you think that you will have a relationship with her but it doesn't happen.

I made this mistake many times and I don't want you do to it: When dealing with girls, take what you get and try to get more.If you only get a makeout, a phone number, a date push for more but if nothing more happens, at least you had something out of it

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Bare with my week long story & help an AFC become a PUA. Tell me what I did right/wrong and what I should do now:

I've been occasionally visiting a local bar to establish rapport with the hot bartender there. Last Sunday, I visited, and she wasn't there, but a cute waitress was. I chatted up the new girl, she had a round of mind-erasers with me & my friends and took out her camera to take a picture with us. As I left, I number closed her casually mentioning that we should go for drinks or something. I didn't give her my number though (I was thinking she might be curious to answer an unknown number, and that it would prevent flaking out on a phone call).

You did well at the bar from what you wrote with the waitress, but then you show your weak inner game by doubting yourself with the whole unknown number thing. Yes you didn't tell her that, but eventually your thoughts will crack through into your actions. Some guys like to exchange numbers when they # close a girl, some don't. Bottom line if you did your job well in attracting her, she will answer or get back to you since she's just as excited as you are to see her.

2 days later, I went back with a buddy... and remember seeing her there, but then blacked out from too much beer (supposedly I was talking with her blacked out) :\

You already know this is likely bad news, not knowing what the hell you said in your state. Don't get wasted when you go out to meet girls.

The next day, wanting to connect the puzzle pieces, and see if I blew it, I called her. She picked up (out of curiosity of the unknown #):

She was friendly on the phone, but seemed rushed, and the conversation only lasted about a minute. 6 hours later, I text her "Hey, whose bar tending tonight? Any cute substitute teachers?" She mentioned she bar tends there as well, and I was trying to be witty instead of sending a boring "hey what's up" text. She didn't ever text back.

Dude your messing it up now. Here's something most newbies don't get; you can only make a girl jealous when she has high interest in you, this situation is brand new and your already sending her texts asking "any cute substitute teachers??" Your words are telling her your a player, your actions are telling her your insecure. Also why would you text her after she quickly got off the phone with you earlier in the day?? Your doing a good job of implying that she is your only option...

Did I f'k this up by blacking out, by apologizing for my actions in a phone call, or sending a questionably witty text? Should I call/text again, or talk to her again in person at the bar.

You started off GREAT! Then it was all down hill from there. Instead of calling her the next day to figure out if you messed up, you should have just left it alone. Then the next time you go there, I'm SURE if it was anything THAT BAD, you would have been able to tell by her actions or she would have flat out told you.

.................................................

Back to the original hot bartender that I was going there for originally to build rapport with: Last night after dropping in for a drink with friends, we chatted and I found out she and a friend I was there with knew each other from middle school. My friends went downstairs to the other bar, and as I closed my tab, I number closed her saying

First off, I've worked in bars and restaurants for a few years when I was going through college. Rule #1 is go there on a SEMI-regular basis, seems like your there 3x a week or so. That is too much, I'd drop in 3-5x a month and keep building rapport.

It doesn't matter HOW you number close if you do your job right as I mentioned above. Getting a number is implied when you flirt with a girl and she's giving you tons of signs of interest back. So lets say you did well flirting with the bartender and then you did the whole "we all should hang sometime, give me your #" line, she's still interested in YOU. However if the whole basis of your speech was the GROUP of friends, then YES its very possible she gave you her number thinking friends. In either case, getting the number doesn't really mean much, getting her to come out with you again IS.

I handed her my phone, got the number, and left.

Do you think, I should number close differently? I feel as if including groups like "us" or "all" makes women less defensive to give a number, but at the same time doesn't fully show my interest or intent. What do you think? Does it even matter?

See my comments above...


I'll call her later tonight when I go out again.

I'm not sure if she's seeing the guy-bar tender there or not because I see him frequently give her a pat on the butt, but this could just be friendly co-worker interaction maybe? That's all I've ever seen. Should I even ask or inquire somehow about that? Or just ignore it?

No NEVER ask about another guy or what there deal is etc etc, especially when you first meet a woman and are trying to get to know her. That's really none of your business at that point and if it gets to a point down line then it will be your business to know or she will tell you if she has any integrity about other men in her life.

Thanks for reading, any advice is welcomed.

Quick advice: Your calling too quickly and too often. Figure in the fact that your at this local bar 3x a week or so from what your writing here, then you've already gotten 2 numbers from employees there, pretty soon they are going to have you labeled as "that guy." And that's not a good spot to be in.

Again what you want to do with waitresses, bartenders etc is s-l-o-w-l-y advance and build rapport as you get to know them better. Think about it, every time you go in, its like a mini date depending on how busy it is at the time. Here are some bullet points:

-cut back on how often you are going there. I'd go 3-6x a month max

-don't always think you have to get the number, these are women in service, they see your wallet as much as they see your face. So don't think for a second that they won't give you there number esp if your a good tipper and go in often to get more $$$ from you

-s-l-o-w-l-y build rapport, its not a race, some might disagree here, but this is what wills separate you from the herd. Most bartenders are pretty attractive, do you want to venture to guess how often she gets hit on??? Stop acting like the rest, be different, be interesting and be smooth.

-try to go in between the rushes. Usually around 2-4 is DEAD in most restaurants, this will allow you more time with the target girl and help you advance many steps rather than an inch each time you go in. Remember move slowly, but that doesn't mean don't make progress.

Your plan from here should be to give it a REST for a bit, then go back in about 4 days to a week. Right now your chances don't look good and obviously people in restaurants talk, so be certain that the waitress/bartender and the original target girl already know your interested in both of them.






PIMP