help me stop looking!!

[Sanity_Cleaver]

I had a girlfriend. I broke up with yesterday (about time- our relationship was a sexual cul-de-sac with all the emotional intensity of brand power commercial) and i am now happily single. Or at least sort of.

When i am seeing someone i can just go talk to any girl, flirt, fart about have fun and make a good impression. I just dont care, and the girls love it and chase me even though im taken.

But when i have no-one, not even a fallback (one i want at least) i feel this incredible pressure to go and get someone; a voice in my head that tells me each time i go out, even if its a trip to the supermarket to buy some bread and milk, i have to go up to some chick and talk to her, flirt, get her number, and so on. Basically if i have no one, i suddenly feel all this pressure and things dont work out for me becaue of it. I get much more nervous than i normally do and all my jokes fall flat on their arse and i appear with all the charisma of a dump truck.

I perform so much better and get sh1tloads more attention if im NOT looking- trouble is with being 100% single i cant stop myself from looking and so a vicious circle begins.

Im sure theres a few of you out there who have/have been caught in this loop too, and Im asking if you have any advice on it. If theres some jedi mind trick i can work on myself to not care and just stop looking- i dont know about you guys but things always happen for me when im not looking.
When i go out, even for the bread and milk, i want to be the fun guy who doesnt give a rats turd about what he does instead of the guy who puts too much pressure on himself to try chat someone up. Im not talking about 'ooh that girl there is cute il talk to her'- thats normal- im talking about 'ok today ill talk to 5 girls and try get at least 3 numbers'- thats the problem. And when i font reach my objective i feel unhappy with myself and my confidence gets wounded.

If anyone can help me cultivate this dont care/dont look attitude please do! Itd make me (and anyone else with this) much happier with singlehood.

 

[Ser_i]

* Does Jedi mind trick

You will focus on your personal life

You will fill up your free time by reading books that will aid your cause

UNLESS you can go clubbing where you know what to do

*snap


lol just relax.. I just broke up with a girl I spent 8 months with, killer body but she didn't wanto give me head infront of the library (relax it was like 5 in the morning after ever yone had gone home from clubbing) You're just acting on a feeling that you need to have a girlfriend to fall back to if things don't work out with the other girl you have nothing to lose.

 

[I-am-someone]

You know how you want to act, as you stated in your post. Instead of just doing that, you are posting a question here to help you be able to think like that.

What do you think I'm getting at?

Just get some other things to pay attention to. There are a lot of other things that can be on your mind than girls. If you're really having trouble, just make yourself a promise to lay off of girls for a week. When you get your mind on other things it'll all be better

 

[MacDiddy]

This is all psychological BS... You are like every other AFC who has just been dumped...

Your problem is you cannot maintain the frame when ur single but have no problem when ur already hooked up coz u couldn't care.. Of course its all academic since you never had the balls to close the deal with other chicks while you were with your ex...

Put simply, your out of your comfort zone and in need of some practice...

go read the bible!!! I wouldn't say this if I didn't think it would be of any benefit to you!!!!