help me stop feeling guilty.

[Manonamission]

Hey guys-

I'm currently seeing 3 girls, I'm not in any dedicated relationship to any of them. In fact the women aren't even the problem. It's me. I keep feeling guilty about seeing 3 girls, there is a continuous voice in the back of my head telling me I should only be with one.

Are these thoughts AFC? I continue to ignore them but it's starting to get annoying.

The only reason I think I'm going through this is because of the way I was brought up and how men should always respect women and shouldn't be dating more than one girl. (Same ol bull****.)

If anyone has gone through the same **** I'm going through right now please add your thoughts. It's not really a major problem, but it is starting to piss me off that I keep thinking like this.

-MOAM

 

[KontrollerX]

Hmmm, maybe you should read Rollo's Plate Theory post.

That post could help you sink into your head that what you are doing now is ok.

Because when one of those plates spins faster and better than the rest you can slow down your rotation to just that one.

I mean because if you just focus on one girl at a time and it doesn't work out then you'd have to seek out another girl to put time into and if that doesn't work out you'll have to start all over again with that slow moving one at a time process.

Plate spinning has you putting time into a bunch of chicks so if one situation falls through you've already got a few other chicks right there to take her spot who you've worked on saving you time that starting over from scratch would've caused you to waste.

You know all this consciously I'm sure but maybe reading Rollo's post a few times over each day will help counteract your imprinted thoughts.

 

[B4IFURU18?]

It's natural. Especially so being that you were brought up to be "faithful" to one and only one woman.

I like to think of dating multiple women as a panel. You're putting three women to the test, and eventually choosing one (assuming she fits your expectations). It's an easy way to avoid wasting time spent with one girl. It'd take you a long time to find the right girl if you were doing it one by one. This way you're shortening the time.

Besides, it's nice to have multiple women you can call up.

 

[Mental]

Hey guys-

I'm currently seeing 3 girls, I'm not in any dedicated relationship to any of them. In fact the women aren't even the problem. It's me. I keep feeling guilty about seeing 3 girls, there is a continuous voice in the back of my head telling me I should only be with one.

Are these thoughts AFC? I continue to ignore them but it's starting to get annoying.

The only reason I think I'm going through this is because of the way I was brought up and how men should always respect women and shouldn't be dating more than one girl. (Same ol bull****.)

If anyone has gone through the same **** I'm going through right now please add your thoughts. It's not really a major problem, but it is starting to piss me off that I keep thinking like this.

-MOAM

Hey, if you're honest with them, and yourself, then there's no big problem. But some day, you might have to make a decision. Other than that, I find nothing wrong with dating 3 women, as long as everyone is well aware that there are others, and you're upfront.

Now how PHYSICAL you all get is another issue entirely. But dating multiple women in and of itself is not a big deal. You're getting to know someone.

Would you have a problem with going to a party and talking to 5 different people? I'd hope not.

So in dating, why would you feel dishonest if you let everyone know that these are not exclusive relationships? Just be aware that with honesty comes dealing with whatever consequences, just as lying does. If you're honest, thoough, you've given it your best, and you can look in the mirror knowing that you ultimately did "the right thing" for right now, even if these three women run for the hills screaming that you're a man*****.

And no, if you want to date one at a time, that's not AFC at all. Honesty, (but not giving everything away) is not AFC. I think it's been ingrained in us to a degree. Just because you want to date exclusively, or marry doesn't make you a chump. Always giving in to your partner (even at your own expense) is, but settling down isn't AFC - Settling might be. But settling DOWN isn't always a sign you're pathetic.