Help me out!

[Colerbear]

Sorry for the length..

Ok so alittle background... I have been browsing the forums off and on for probably close to 2 years now, But I have neglected to post a new thread. So this is my first one, be easy. Onto my question...

Ok so My school goes snowboarding at our localish mountain every friday night. When I am there I feel like I am funny and very outgoing.. ex. talking to alot of random girls and guys on the hill/friends and get good responses. I get people to laugh at the things I do and say and I feel kinda like a different person and always say the right thing or something cool. Kinda hyped up and happy. Like im the **** and a true DJ. it feels like best day in the world. I'll get numbers all the time and sometimes kisses from hot girls . "One time some younger guys came up to me and asked how do you talk to girls like you do" And I said and felt that it was natural. At that time..

Now on the average day, im not a total loner or dont make funny jokes. I just dont feel "it" or say/do as many funny things. I almost feel like if I try to be anything like above that its kinda forced or something. And I feel like the girls kinda sense that and I dont get the same response, and I find myself analyzing or trying to figure out what i can say or do to be like above.

Now i truely believe that inner game comes first with women, so how can i make myself like when im snowboarding? What does my mindset have to be? or what not? I've thought long about this and can't pinpoint it myself..

 

[salmon]

Well, at least you've pinpointed what you need to fix. It took me a few years (and a lot of money) of learning the "outer game" stuff before I realized that it's the inner-game stuff that's most important.

I'm still trying to find the "best" inner game system. So far, I really like the stuff by the attraction institute -- they have a heap of free articles (like http://www.attractioninstitute.org/getting-into-state-permanently) that I've been reading over lately, and their Inner Game Challenge has been a lot of fun.

The problem, however, is that there's no magic bullet for everybody when it comes to state. How you feel up the mountain is probably very different to how I feel.

What changes for you when you go up the mountain? How do you feel when you're there? Maybe you need to do something silly like get dressed up in your snow gear before a night out, at least at first. Or just visualize what it's like when you're driving there, sliding down the slopes, or standing in the lift queue. There's a few good suggestions in the article I posted above. Once you find what gets you in state, some people recommend that you associate an action with it, or a song, so that whenever you want to get into state, you just need to perform the action or sing the song to yourself, and it'll trigger it for you. I'm not quite there yet (it still takes me a few moments of visualization before I'm ready to go), but I've noticed it does get easier over time.

It's also important to realize that when you're in state somewhere else, it's not a bad thing. It's still who you are, but you're just transplanting that personality into a different part of your life. It's not different than not being the party-guy while you're in class.

 

[Colerbear]

Hey thanks for replying man, I'll try this out

 

[Exhumed]

Personally I find that being around my good friends puts me "in state," and it would seem that you're the same way. In fact I never go out somewhere to "sarge", but if I'm out with my friends and I see a cute girl I'll strike up a conversation. Every time I've been approached by a girl she's been with her friends too. I'm going to take a look at that website though, I'd like to be "in state" all of the time, ready for anything.

 

[falconslax89]

its probably thats just where your most comfortable man. its your place and you feel good when your there. its your surroundings im sure of it, ive done the exact same thing. you just have to remember if you can be that guy up tere, you can be that guy anywhere.its not like your trying to act like someone else..you ARE that guy. just do it!

 

[seano99]

hey man, i can kinda relate.

i think mainly the adrenalin high from snowboarding is why you're chatty, funny and confident in the snowfields. you're also comfortable there like someone said.

so to fix it... either snowboard more, or try to find another way to get hyped, maybe listen to music that will pump you up and get you feeling good.

just throwing ideas out there now.... could you listen to your fav music on ipod while snowboarding? and then listen to that music in your regular life, or before you go to meet people or whatever. maybe that could bring you back to that confident funny state?