Help me make this happen

[jimjam]

Gentlemen,

The story is that I used to live with this girl just out of college. It was all AFC and oneitis but, whatever, it is what it is. We had a bad breakup, at least it seemed that way at the time. Looking back, it doesn't seem all that bad now. Anyway.....lost touch with one another for 13 years. Finally got back in touch with her after I got divorced about 6 years ago. We've been e-mailing one another off and on ever since. Flirty at times. She invited me out to see her once and gave me a link to a discounted price on a ticket. (She lives in Europe.) I never went, but the flirty e-mails continued, stopping short of really anything romantic or sexual.

Then, I decided that I had enough fiddle fvcking around. She e-mails me this past February, about nothing, some band I used to listen to. I tell her that it's funny she should e-mail me because I recently had a dream where she was kissing me. She responds by saying it sounds like a nice dream. It was, I say, but 'I woke up just as things were getting hot. Then I remind her that we once agreed to meet one another every so often. This was when we were splitting up. she never answered me back and I never expected to hear from her again. Fine by me, I mean, she's 5000 miles away anyway.

So I get an e-mail from her yesterday, again about some band I used to listen to. Something that I had even forgotten about. And she asks me how things are. I haven't answered her yet.

Now, I know from e-mailing her that she has been back here a few times since we last spoke. She has friends here that she'd like to see. I would like to see her. Call me AFC if you will, but there it is. And if I don't see her, so what? Either way I'll be okay and be happy. Should I just ask her when she's finally going to come over and see me? I mean, what do I have to lose?

And, I do realize that things are never the same and that I'm only thinking of the good times. And there were some bad ones. But like I said, in retrospect, compared to some of the sh!t I';ve been through recently, anything negative seems almost trivial. And, I am pursuing other women. I never forgot this one for some reason.

Fellas, am I being a chump?

Thanks

 

[Bible_Belt]

20 years apart? I'm guessing she's not so hot anymore.

Just tell her you want to see her. Tell her whatever she needs to hear. AFC is not determined by what you say; it's determined by what you believe. As long as you understand that you just need to fvck her to get her out of your head, everything else will fall into place.

 

[Çharismo]

The first step you can take is to transition to phone.

You can use Skype and video chat or even Viber, with both of these you can make international calls for free.

I'm assuming you have a smart-phone.

Once you get her on the phone start to build some sort of a relationship/rapport where you can talk to her at least once a month to keep tabs. If she is single you have a place to stay if you decide to travel to her part of the country or if she decides to head to your part of the town you will be in the know. If you have a facebook add her on it as well.

Other than that there really isn't much you can do. :flowers:

 

[jimjam]

You're right. I've often thought, "am I still attracted to her or just the way things were at one time?" Really, I have no idea who this person is anymore. Hell, I'M not the same person now as I was back then. Still, I can't help but be intrigued. I sometimes wonder what happened to other girlfriends that I had but I've no desire to contact or see them. This one's different. And I don't want any sort of relationship with her. I understand this is next to impossible and downright impractical.

I suppose I'll ask her when he's coming over. Again, what have I got to lose. In any event, I'd like to see her just so I can get it out of my god**** head