Help me get my balls back

[Blind_Fury]

Alright fellas, I don't know why hindsight is 20/20 but I should have had some glasses on in order to see this bull****. I have some text messages that I want you to critique for me to tell me what went wrong. I looked back upon the convo the next day and just realized that I probably just said some of the gayest s**t I have ever said in my life! As you can see im still new at trying to better my game so I need your opinions and suggestions. This time I'll leave these messages as an example so that you can better guage my AFC ways...alright nuff said here goes:


After leaving her apt:
me I had a good time girl...thanks for the food it was really good.
Next day...afternoon
Her: "Well if you really liked that then I'll make some more for you the next time that you come over."
me "Alright well be prepared to make a lot, cause im bringing take-home containers, gotta eat for the rest of the week you know " " oh yea how is your garden?"
(my dumbass took her to buy flowers-she bought them-and then planted them with this girl that day!).
her "It looks really pretty now."
me "Look at you, you should come bless my house with a woman's touch : ) So are you coming with me to run tomorrow? I know a spot not too far from you"

nothing for the rest of the night... now I know that sometimes she takes a while(maybe a day or so) to get back to me, and so do i...but I gotta say that we were texting pretty quickly that night back and forth. so I know she had time to read my message...Well as im writing this post this morning she texts me

her"feeling lazy today, didn't sleep till late last night...how about Sat or Sun?" and I haven't responded. Some things I noticed last night after reading the dj bible about our dealings:

1: we always go out or do things on her clock? I'm usually the one meeting her on her time. Im not setting the frame.

2: whenever I try to get her to meet me on my time she is hardly available.

3: She is most-likely using my ass for her convenience...

4: And most importantly *When we are usually out doing something, It's often near a place where she has an errand to run.*

Now with that said, back to those text messages. There are times where we touch and flirt and talk about sex, but I always end up reverting back to acting in a non-sexual way. To me that was some of the girlish talk I ever heard, and I was the only male participant. I know im the problem. My question is what should I say to her? How do I stop texting about gardens and shyt and act like a man. If anything after reading the DJ material I wanna cuss this b**** out, and tell her i finally pulled her card. just so i can feel like I've got my balls back. but maybe its best not respond right now. I don't even care about pursuing anything with this girl now. I just want to show her and any other girl, that I've got my own balls. I read some material about how to prevent being the perpetual nice guy and the nice guy vs. jerk article, but in my case it is easier said and done. I am so sick of being too nice, that I am ready to do anything. Hell being a jerk sounds good at this point. I just can't seem to grip my mind on how. I need a training method to kill it once and for all.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

You are positioning yourself to be her new gay best friend at the moment.

You're building way too much comfort, and not nearly as much attraction, and you're doing it all out of order.

Start experimenting with 'direct game'. It's worked wonders for me recently. The only thing keeping you trapped in your nice guy zone is your fear of her potential reaction. Well let me tell you, she's probably a lot more disgusted by your recent gayness than if you were able to sack up and make a move or make your intentions clear.

Don't feel like you have to apologize for your desires as a man. Oh, I'm so sorry, excuse me for making my intentions known, how could I have such shallow and baseless urges as wanting to date or fvck you? Please come plant flowers with me. At least if she isn't feeling it, you don't have to go around like her puppy dog and feel sick to yourself wondering where you stand.

Take charge of your life man, resolve to stop doing this to yourself and start trying to TAKE WHAT YOU WANT like a man. You'll either experience wondrous success or rejection. And you know what? Rejection is not really that bad... try and develop a thick skin about it, that's all I can say really.

 

[Iceberg]

Picking up on context clues, I get the indication that this relationship isn't even sexual. Like, are you two even making out?

And if there is no sex in the relationship, then why are you taking her out to get flowers, going on jogs with her, etc.? Those are things I'd do with a GF of 8 or 9 months. Not just some random girl.

Text conversations are gay altogether. You don't use texts for meaningless discussions. You use them to setup dates.

How to get your balls back? You need to understand that attention is currency. It's like money. You reward a woman's good behavior with more attention. You go on a few good dates....then, maybe then you give her a nice 20 minute phone call to chit chat about nonsense once or twice per week. She bangs you good for a month or two, and doesn't give you any drama....then you reward her with an offer of jogging. She's a cool girl for 4-5 months....then you entertain the idea of letting her pursue a serious relationship with you.

It's not that your text conversation was particularly bad. It was just unnecessary. Your main problem is devoting all this time to a woman who isn't even "dating" you. A trip to the gardening store and an invite to go jogging? F*** that. Those things are REWARDS for a woman who has been cool, and fun, and sexual. Not some girl you're iffy about.